Floggers and Boggers,
By now you have realised that Totti and I are just the right ammount of crazy to come up with something like this:
We want Ellen Degeneres to support us in our mission to help her acheive world domination in 2010.
To help Ellen’s 2010 resolution of World Domination - we want to combine it with our own amazing adventure. Watch as we are about to embark on our own quest of World Domination, beginning May 17, 2010 and we thought we'd take Ellen with us.
From the U.S, Jamaica, ooooooh we wanna take ya; everywhere!
America: Segway tours in L.A, Disneyland, Cancun, Vegas, the big apple, Miami beach.
England: We solemnly sware that we will do everything in our power to make the guards outside Buckingham Palace participate in taking absolutely ridiculous, yet equally hilarious photos with us and our portable Ellen. If we fail, we will get arrested trying, it is a promise :p
Ireland: We have a feeling that if the Irish live up to their drinking reputation, our little Ellen cut out will appear in many drunken adventures ;) *Pouts lips and makes peace sign with fingers, thinking it looks really cool*
Scotland: Everyone likes a healthy breeze around their privates, so, sporting kilts and wearing little hats with pom poms atop reasonable looking ginger haired wigs, we will go Loch Ness hunting to the tune of bag pipes as our marching anthem. And we know it's a long shot, but can Gerard Butler come with us??
Wales: Hey.....WE SPEAK WHALE....Bad joke, we know. Sorry :p
Spain: We will tango past the Toros when we take Ellen running with the bulls and on our Hop on/Hop Off Bus tour.
Paris: The Louvre, the night time bike ride, the Eifel tower…. We probably won’t eat snails or frogs – we hear they taste like chicken, but based on principal, and our healthy respect for the animal kingdom, we have resolved that some things just weren’t meant to be passed through the digestive system!
Italy: Ellen will get to see things such as the Colosseum, the leaning tower of Pisa, take a gondola ride in Venice, explore Pompeii, say hi to our friend George Clooney at Lake Como, catch a soccer game at the Olympic Stadium – PLUS eat all the gelato and pizza a paper cut out can stomach - does a paper cut out have a stomach?
Germany: We’ll find some of those funny shorts that double as overalls and yodel off a mountain top to a song of your choice. Suggestions welcome :p
Tokyo: Mt Fuji and the Bullet train – look out!
The Greek Islands: we will attempt to re-enact a scene from Mamma Mia for your viewing pleasure. We can’t guarantee that we have the singing Prowess of Pierce Brosnan or Meryl Streep, but we can try :p
And finally, perhaps our most favourite of all, we get to be Pirates in the Caribbean (pirate hats included).
We are willing to partake in any adventures or complete any tasks Ellen requests us to do while on our mission.
Our first stop though – America. We know it’s a long shot, but we were hoping to kick off our World Domination of 2010 on the Ellen Degeneres show. As part of our stay in America, we were going to try and get tickets to see Ellen as we are big fans.
So in the hope that we will get to dance in the audience, and maybe have a dance off with Ellen, we maintain that “fish are friends, not food”, and we really hope that you’ll help us get the message out. Check out our fan page on Facebook and *Become a fan* : Ellen Degeneres - the 2010 resolution to achieve world domination
of something that could turn out to be Ellen-iscious..
So we leave you with the hope in mind that we will help Ellen dance her way to world domination in 2010 :)
Say hi to your dad for us,
Love Ela & Kate.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Monday, March 22, 2010
On the Bog; A tribute to Floggers and Boggers alike.
Hello Boggers (Buddies of our Blog),
First, let us thank you for your loyalty in following our blog. Although we find ourselves rather entertaining and extremely humorous, it's nice to know other people are reading our shit - even if it is only Mum & Dad! We understand that as parents and friends you are obligated to lie in order to prevent our little hearts from breaking; you have to tell us our blog is truly wonderful, even if doesn’t stir the slightest hint of laughter. BUT we accept you whole heartedly as a loyal Floggers and Boggers – as we need our blog to look like it has many avid readers and is wildly popular, and you need to feel like you are fulfilling your roles as parents by filling your children’s heads with false encouragement about their blogging abilities. This way, we all sleep well at night. We LOVE getting comments too so comment-away! We’re watching you ANONYMOUS – reveal your identity!
Whilst the travel preparations continue, we have noticed that we have sort of adopted alter ego’s during the planning process. We feel we have given the term “freedom of expression” an entire new meaning, each of us putting a little bit of ourselves back into this experience, in our own quirky yet entirely productive way - Totti with her nerdy spreadsheet which is now scaling at almost 1KB (you know it!) has become a cooler and way hotter female version of Bill Gates – her spread sheeting skills are pretty impressive, in this case, geeks really will be taking over the world :p As Ela is lacking in spreadsheeting prowess, she has chosen to compensate with her arty farty DaVinci style notebook and MASSIVE two-holed binder (and she wonder’s why she can’t get laid ??), we bring you a sneak peak into.....GOSS - G.oing O.verseas S.even S.ins:
OK that was a poor attempt at making an acronym, we can't be funny ALL the time - don't judge u s :p
Wrath - "inordinate and uncontrolled feelings of hatred and anger"
Anyone heard of the Napoleon complex? To put it simply the term "Napoleon complex" has been used in scientific research on the phenomenon of smaller organisms acting aggressively towards larger organisms.
The short (lol, we are short) of is that we both suffer from this condition. We seek forgiveness for the anger and possible hatred we will show over our travel period...however, our excuse will be the Napoleon Complex; being vertically challenged, we have to make up for our short-comings (ha.pun intended :p) some how!
Greed - "excessive or rapacious desire and pursuit of wealth, status, and power"
Whilst some may say taking a four and a half month holiday is greedy while our family and friends continue to work the 9-5 grind during the cold cold canberra winter, only stopping for coffee breaks and a snack consisting of dried fruit and muesli with the odd pea and ham soup chucked up for lunch.....OK....we are greedy, but we will be thousands of miles away, so even if you wanted to throw an inanimate household object at us in frustration, there’s nothing you can do about it:p Forgiven?
Sloth - "laziness and indifference"
We may be lazy here but we will endeavour not to be lazy whilst overseas. I mean sipping cocktails, staring and stalking Jamaican princes, riding segways, sipping cocktails, sipping cocktails, sipping cocktails. OK....we are guilty of being slothful, however, we will NOT return looking like this. So we're forgiven, right?
*we’re too sexy for our shirt, too sexy for our shirt, so sexy it hurts. We’re too sexy for Milan, to sexy for Milan, New York and Japan*
*hey wifey’s, you’re so fine, you’re blow our mind, hey wifey’s *clap clap* hey wifey’s *clap clap*.
Lust - "excessive thoughts or desires of a sexual nature"
Enough said. Bahahahahahahahaha. *ela’s quest to find her mojo*
Envy - "resent that another person has something they perceive themselves as lacking, and wish the other person to be deprived of it"
Seeing as though we have nothing to envy aside from ourselves, we handball this sin to our floggers.
Gluttony - "over-indulgence and over-consumption of anything to the point of waste"
Our number 1 sin. The pizza, the pasta, the chocolate, the nutella, the smarties and who can forget the alcohol. Although Totti possesses the metabolism of a Ninja, it is a-mazing, and shall therefore elude the consequences of over indulgence. The toilet however, will feel her wrath lol. We will be asking forgiveness for this sin for the rest of our lives.
So as we like to talk about our feelings, ‘cause we’re good like that – we hope this blog gives you an insight into our virtual selves, as the tangible versions will most probably be busy tanning and partaking in other beach related activities, and dominating the overseas competition, we leave you with the sentiment that we’ll say it, when you’re just thinking it. We are sure there will be plenty of awkward, funny and sincerely honest moments to come, so stay stalking, as we are keen to share them all.....or mostly all :p
Watch this space, and most importantly….Say hi to your dad for us,
Kate & Ela.
First, let us thank you for your loyalty in following our blog. Although we find ourselves rather entertaining and extremely humorous, it's nice to know other people are reading our shit - even if it is only Mum & Dad! We understand that as parents and friends you are obligated to lie in order to prevent our little hearts from breaking; you have to tell us our blog is truly wonderful, even if doesn’t stir the slightest hint of laughter. BUT we accept you whole heartedly as a loyal Floggers and Boggers – as we need our blog to look like it has many avid readers and is wildly popular, and you need to feel like you are fulfilling your roles as parents by filling your children’s heads with false encouragement about their blogging abilities. This way, we all sleep well at night. We LOVE getting comments too so comment-away! We’re watching you ANONYMOUS – reveal your identity!
Whilst the travel preparations continue, we have noticed that we have sort of adopted alter ego’s during the planning process. We feel we have given the term “freedom of expression” an entire new meaning, each of us putting a little bit of ourselves back into this experience, in our own quirky yet entirely productive way - Totti with her nerdy spreadsheet which is now scaling at almost 1KB (you know it!) has become a cooler and way hotter female version of Bill Gates – her spread sheeting skills are pretty impressive, in this case, geeks really will be taking over the world :p As Ela is lacking in spreadsheeting prowess, she has chosen to compensate with her arty farty DaVinci style notebook and MASSIVE two-holed binder (and she wonder’s why she can’t get laid ??), we bring you a sneak peak into.....GOSS - G.oing O.verseas S.even S.ins:
OK that was a poor attempt at making an acronym, we can't be funny ALL the time - don't judge u s :p
Wrath - "inordinate and uncontrolled feelings of hatred and anger"
Anyone heard of the Napoleon complex? To put it simply the term "Napoleon complex" has been used in scientific research on the phenomenon of smaller organisms acting aggressively towards larger organisms.
The short (lol, we are short) of is that we both suffer from this condition. We seek forgiveness for the anger and possible hatred we will show over our travel period...however, our excuse will be the Napoleon Complex; being vertically challenged, we have to make up for our short-comings (ha.pun intended :p) some how!
Greed - "excessive or rapacious desire and pursuit of wealth, status, and power"
Whilst some may say taking a four and a half month holiday is greedy while our family and friends continue to work the 9-5 grind during the cold cold canberra winter, only stopping for coffee breaks and a snack consisting of dried fruit and muesli with the odd pea and ham soup chucked up for lunch.....OK....we are greedy, but we will be thousands of miles away, so even if you wanted to throw an inanimate household object at us in frustration, there’s nothing you can do about it:p Forgiven?
Sloth - "laziness and indifference"
We may be lazy here but we will endeavour not to be lazy whilst overseas. I mean sipping cocktails, staring and stalking Jamaican princes, riding segways, sipping cocktails, sipping cocktails, sipping cocktails. OK....we are guilty of being slothful, however, we will NOT return looking like this. So we're forgiven, right?
Pride - "a desire to be more important or attractive than others, failing to acknowledge the good work of others, and excessive love of self" - The most deadly sin of all.
*we’re too sexy for our shirt, too sexy for our shirt, so sexy it hurts. We’re too sexy for Milan, to sexy for Milan, New York and Japan*
*hey wifey’s, you’re so fine, you’re blow our mind, hey wifey’s *clap clap* hey wifey’s *clap clap*.
Lust - "excessive thoughts or desires of a sexual nature"
Enough said. Bahahahahahahahaha. *ela’s quest to find her mojo*
Envy - "resent that another person has something they perceive themselves as lacking, and wish the other person to be deprived of it"
Seeing as though we have nothing to envy aside from ourselves, we handball this sin to our floggers.
Gluttony - "over-indulgence and over-consumption of anything to the point of waste"
Our number 1 sin. The pizza, the pasta, the chocolate, the nutella, the smarties and who can forget the alcohol. Although Totti possesses the metabolism of a Ninja, it is a-mazing, and shall therefore elude the consequences of over indulgence. The toilet however, will feel her wrath lol. We will be asking forgiveness for this sin for the rest of our lives.
So as we like to talk about our feelings, ‘cause we’re good like that – we hope this blog gives you an insight into our virtual selves, as the tangible versions will most probably be busy tanning and partaking in other beach related activities, and dominating the overseas competition, we leave you with the sentiment that we’ll say it, when you’re just thinking it. We are sure there will be plenty of awkward, funny and sincerely honest moments to come, so stay stalking, as we are keen to share them all.....or mostly all :p
Watch this space, and most importantly….Say hi to your dad for us,
Kate & Ela.
Monday, March 15, 2010
The countdown to Fro-ition.
Over The Hair-izon.
Greetings Floggers,
We've been busy of late, making sure that the lead up to D.Day is as smooth and silky as Repunzel's long and luscious hairs.
We are now accomplished and qualified to perform the art of CPR (if any Jamaican Princes are willing to fake their deaths, we will be more than happy to remove their shirts and then provide mouth to mouth), we thought it would be a good idea to get refreshed on all things first aid, incase we get tangled in any hairy situations.
Like many before us, we want to make a good impression on the world stage. In order to get the hair-spect we deserve, we want to represent to our full fro-tential.
Totti is adamant about "getting my hairs done. Just cut and colour! Trying to grow said hairs so they are long and luscious and admired by many boys on my travels!! Lol."
Between now and D.Day I am sure there will be many more visits to the Hair Dresser - all inclusive of massage chair, head massage and complimentary chocolate consumption. A small sacrafice in order to achieve that Pantine hair.
We also need to get our Bleck on: A solid spray tan never hurt anyone. We will ensure to request a nice golden caramel hue, as opposed to the artificial orange option.
So in the hope that all things tweezed, trimmed, waxed, straitened/teasead, coloured and blowdried all happen according to plan, we take on the world with our GHD in one hand and a cocktail in the other.
So if curls get the girls, and Fro's get the ho's, then our Hairs will get the stares.
Say hi to your dad for us,
Kate & Ela xo
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
The Waiting Game
Buon giorno, fellow Floggers (Fans of our Blog) - yes, there are only three of you, and so we write for your enjoyment :) )
The story thus far.
First day: Kate & Ela create 'The Light Bulb Moment' ("Let there be light!")[Gen 1:3]—the first divine command. The light bulb moment divided itself from all the regular moments from the darkness of our brains, and "Departure Day" was named.
Second day: Kate & Ela create a firmament ("Let a firmament be...!")[Gen 1:6–7]—the second command—to divide the waters above from the waters below. The firmament is named "skies" - the skies we will travel, on our quest to conquer the waters that divide Australia and the rest of the world.
Third day: Ela & Kate command the waters below to be gathered together in one place (the infinity pool, Cancun) and dry land to appear (white sandy beaches) (the third command).[Gen 1:9–10] "Earth" and "sea" are named. Kate & Ela command the earth to bring forth grass (to have picnics on, and so we have space to dominate foreigners with our soccer skills) plants (mainly for shade), and fruit-bearing trees (we're always hungry, so having easy access to food is a must) (the fourth command).
Fourth day: Kate & Ela create lights in the firmament (the fifth command)[Gen 1:14–15] to separate light from darkness and to mark days, seasons and years. Two great lights are made, the Sun (we need a tan!) and the Moon (so we have something pretty to look at) and the stars (something to look at while we are lying on our perfectly created grass while having a picnic)
Fifth day: Kate & Ela command the sea to "teem with living creatures", (namely Dolphins and friendly type fishes. Remember, fish are friends, NOT food) and birds (strictly NO SEAGULLS policy - as they like to chase Kate) to fly across the heavens (sixth command).[Gen 1:20–21].
Sixth day: Kate & Ela command the land to bring forth living creatures (seventh command);[Gen 1:24–25] God supposedly made wild beasts, livestock and reptiles. Then created mankind in His "image" and "likeness" (eighth command).[Gen 1:26–28] We created Jamaican Princes - and told them to "be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the earth" - and to be waiting for us in the Carribbean with their six pack abs and fruity drinks in hand.
Seventh day: Kate & Ela, having completed the heavens and the earth, and the creation of Jamaican Princes, rest from Their work, and bless and sanctify the seventh day with a tall glass of Midori & Pineapple.
- a much more plausible version of Genesis than the original :p
So we are all booked and paid for, at this stage we are just fine tuning and booking domestic travel and accomodation for when we are there.
Stay tuned and say hi to your dad for us :)
Kate & Ela x
The story thus far.
Genesis
- The Creation of The Amazing Adventure by Kate & Ela.
The creation week narrative consists of eight divine commands executed over six days, followed by a seventh day of rest.
First day: Kate & Ela create 'The Light Bulb Moment' ("Let there be light!")[Gen 1:3]—the first divine command. The light bulb moment divided itself from all the regular moments from the darkness of our brains, and "Departure Day" was named.
Second day: Kate & Ela create a firmament ("Let a firmament be...!")[Gen 1:6–7]—the second command—to divide the waters above from the waters below. The firmament is named "skies" - the skies we will travel, on our quest to conquer the waters that divide Australia and the rest of the world.
Third day: Ela & Kate command the waters below to be gathered together in one place (the infinity pool, Cancun) and dry land to appear (white sandy beaches) (the third command).[Gen 1:9–10] "Earth" and "sea" are named. Kate & Ela command the earth to bring forth grass (to have picnics on, and so we have space to dominate foreigners with our soccer skills) plants (mainly for shade), and fruit-bearing trees (we're always hungry, so having easy access to food is a must) (the fourth command).
Fourth day: Kate & Ela create lights in the firmament (the fifth command)[Gen 1:14–15] to separate light from darkness and to mark days, seasons and years. Two great lights are made, the Sun (we need a tan!) and the Moon (so we have something pretty to look at) and the stars (something to look at while we are lying on our perfectly created grass while having a picnic)
Fifth day: Kate & Ela command the sea to "teem with living creatures", (namely Dolphins and friendly type fishes. Remember, fish are friends, NOT food) and birds (strictly NO SEAGULLS policy - as they like to chase Kate) to fly across the heavens (sixth command).[Gen 1:20–21].
Sixth day: Kate & Ela command the land to bring forth living creatures (seventh command);[Gen 1:24–25] God supposedly made wild beasts, livestock and reptiles. Then created mankind in His "image" and "likeness" (eighth command).[Gen 1:26–28] We created Jamaican Princes - and told them to "be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the earth" - and to be waiting for us in the Carribbean with their six pack abs and fruity drinks in hand.
Seventh day: Kate & Ela, having completed the heavens and the earth, and the creation of Jamaican Princes, rest from Their work, and bless and sanctify the seventh day with a tall glass of Midori & Pineapple.
- a much more plausible version of Genesis than the original :p
So we are all booked and paid for, at this stage we are just fine tuning and booking domestic travel and accomodation for when we are there.
Stay tuned and say hi to your dad for us :)
Kate & Ela x
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Wives in Wonderland
Before bragging some more about leaving you all here to freeze in winter, while we are sipping fruity drinks complete with miniature umbrella decorations on a tropical Carribbean island - we would like to pay our respects to all the lives lost in Haiti recently. We will be sure to consume copious ammounts of alcohol in their honour.
We've now paid our deposit for the Carribbean Cruise - yes, that's right - JAMAICA awaits. The home of Cool Runnings, Bob Marley and all things Rastafari and quite possibly our first experience with hash brownies. "Yo Sanka, You dead?"........"Ya mon". Translation: "Yo Totti, you dead" ......."Ya Wife".....
Who needs Copa Cabana when we've got Cocktails and Carribean Cruising. In other news, weather forecasts are predicted to be fine and sunny with tops of 35 degrees................not so much for Canberra :p
Signin off, say hi to your dad for us,
Ela & Kate x
We've now paid our deposit for the Carribbean Cruise - yes, that's right - JAMAICA awaits. The home of Cool Runnings, Bob Marley and all things Rastafari and quite possibly our first experience with hash brownies. "Yo Sanka, You dead?"........"Ya mon". Translation: "Yo Totti, you dead" ......."Ya Wife".....
Who needs Copa Cabana when we've got Cocktails and Carribean Cruising. In other news, weather forecasts are predicted to be fine and sunny with tops of 35 degrees................not so much for Canberra :p
Signin off, say hi to your dad for us,
Ela & Kate x
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Planning begins...
Itinerary - tick!
Flights paid for - tick!
Tours paid for - tick!
Two fricking excited travelers - tick!
So we've finally booked and paid for our massive round the world adventure! Now we will start saving like true tight-arses until the 17th of May (our D-Day!).
Meanwhile...did we mention that we are going around the world?
Only 137 days to go! :)
Say hi to your Dad!
Ela & Kate
Flights paid for - tick!
Tours paid for - tick!
Two fricking excited travelers - tick!
So we've finally booked and paid for our massive round the world adventure! Now we will start saving like true tight-arses until the 17th of May (our D-Day!).
Meanwhile...did we mention that we are going around the world?
Only 137 days to go! :)
Say hi to your Dad!
Ela & Kate
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Itinerary
Hi again all our special stalkers,
We know you are dying to know where we are going and where we will be on your birthdays! So....us genuises decided to paste our itinerary on our blog (can you believe it??), this will make the stalking much easier!
See below....have fun getting jealous!
San Francisco - 17 May 2010
LA
Las Vegas
Monterrey Mexico
Cancun Mexico
Miami
Cruise - 5 - 12 June
Miami
NYC
London
Rome
Tour - 24 June - 7 July
London
Madrid
Barcelona
Paris
Athens
Tour - 17 - 26 July
Athens
Rome
Busabout
Busabout
Busabout
Florence
Cinqueterre
San Remo
Nice
Milan
Como
Frankfurt, Germany
Free travel
Ireland
Scotland
Wales
London
Tokyo
Home - 24 September 2010
We know you are dying to know where we are going and where we will be on your birthdays! So....us genuises decided to paste our itinerary on our blog (can you believe it??), this will make the stalking much easier!
See below....have fun getting jealous!
San Francisco - 17 May 2010
LA
Las Vegas
Monterrey Mexico
Cancun Mexico
Miami
Cruise - 5 - 12 June
Miami
NYC
London
Rome
Tour - 24 June - 7 July
London
Madrid
Barcelona
Paris
Athens
Tour - 17 - 26 July
Athens
Rome
Busabout
Busabout
Busabout
Florence
Cinqueterre
San Remo
Nice
Milan
Como
Frankfurt, Germany
Free travel
Ireland
Scotland
Wales
London
Tokyo
Home - 24 September 2010
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