Day 31:
Another super early start – 5.30am in the humid Miami heat + tired + hungry as nothing is open for breakfast = fail. We dragged our stuff to the street and waited for our taxi to the airport – luckily for us, he played ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’ in Spanish, and we sang along in English. He was mighty impressed with our bi-lingual abilities, “You know Spanish? Or you like this song?” and so with the sounds of 80’s pop at 6am in the morning to raise our spirits, we said goodbye to Miami and boarded our flight to New York.
Luckily the flight was relatively short, so we landed at around lunch time. The cab ride into the city took ages though – we were banked up in traffic for roughly 1.5hrs – usually this would frustrate us, but we felt it was more typical of NYC (yes, we said NYC – it’s easier than typing the whole thing every time we want to refer to it, it’s 2010, acronyms are all the rage) to have traffic jams and lots of honking, so we took it on board and felt that it enhanced our first taste of the Big Apple. This how ever wore off, as does every novelty when you need to pee like a pregnant woman and have to hold it for longer than 2hrs.
FINALLY we made it into downtown Manhattan and onto 5th ave – where our hotel was. We stayed at the lotus, a half hotel, half hostel place – you have your own NYC style apartment with a private room to sleep in, but share a kitchen and a bathroom. So we dumped our stuff and tried to conquer our first mission: food. That didn’t take long, we made it to the corner of the street and found a cafe that served everything from pasta to sandwiches, so we opted for the pasta which was cooked fresh for us on the spot and inhaled it. So with a full tummy and an entire city to explore, off we went to destination 1: times square. Times Square was by far the most chaotic place we had seen yet – literally droves and droves of people coming from all directions, in combination with the billboards and the lights and the taxis made it very congested. It was pretty overwhelming, but in a good way. Everyone was so busy and rushing around – it would be so easy to just lose yourself and become a complete stranger in a city like this.
We decided we’d take a look in the Toys ‘R’ Us – average you say? We think not. It was the most amazing toys r us ever – FERRIS WHEEL IN THE LOBBY! A bit cool. You get your photo taken at the door – it was difficult to wipe the stupid grins off our faces – clearly toy stores are just as cool as they were when you were 5. So we continued to be impressed – a life size t-Rex robot from Jurassic park, a life size spider man, a superman holding up a semi trailer, the BARBIE mansion, empire state building and the statue of liberty made out of Lego- all of these on the main floor. Yes, there were three floors, one entire floor was devoted to the Toys ‘R’ Us candy shop :p
We decided we had to go and see a Broadway show – and we think everyone else should, if they get the chance. We couldn’t decide what to see, the selection was huge: The Adams Family, West Side Story, The Lion King, Chicago, Jersey Boys, Wicked, Mamma Mia! and so much more. Our decision was made for us when a double decker bus pulled up next to us on the sidewalk: Mary Poppins. We got a great deal – if you ever want to see a Broadway show, go directly to the box office to get tickets, we got a private balcony seat for $30 each. The show surpassed all expectations, it was absolutely friggan awesome – and everyone was into it – even the adults were singing along...Super –cala- frigil-istic expi-alidocious. Lol. But well worth it. So we wandered back to our apartment via times square and made it through our first NYC day without being mugged, shot or run over - a big thumbs up all round :p
Day 32:
We would just like to point out that we have reached our 1 month travel anniversary, as today is now the 17th of June. We are already having trouble recalling what we did in San Fran – it seems like so long ago. So we had a little moment, as we can’t believe it’s already been that long, and gone by so quickly. We feel it is a rather big achievement :)
We give a quick shout out to Amy Williams and she provided us with the lonely planet guide to New York which has been most valuable during our visit to the big apple – thanks lady!
After reading the Bible (in actual fact it was Totti’s trusty lonely planet guide) I have discovered she harbours many basic animalistic instincts, her moods are often determined by how well fed and slept she is. And so she was quick to identify a “vital” and MUST see destination; I was expecting some monument dedicated to an old dead guy who has made a significant contribution to world history – but alas it was in fact a shop was called Zabar’s. It turned out that this MUST SEE place was four shops long, filled with delicious treats and delectable items from all around the world. So we made our way to the Upper West Side, a stroll turned into....................................... 3 hours later: – we reached the Upper West Side and couldn’t miss Zabar’s. We started in the ‘cheese’ shop – this shop contained cheeses from all over the world. Totti’s eyes popped out of her head when she saw the variety of cheeses – she died and went to cheese heaven! The next shop was like a deli and contained a whole heap of yummy hams, salamis, chicken etc. Ah....it was truly amazing! The next shop was full of bread – anything from a freshly baked bagel to baguettes. This shop also had delicious cookies, donuts etc. The last shop was a coffee/tea/more cookies/fruit and everything else that didn’t fit in the other three stops! We bought some cheese, blueberry cream cheese, ranch dressing, carrots and celery, choc chip cookies, biscuits, bagels, olives and a bar of Belgian milk chocolate....ahh... Now it was time to eat – so we quickly (prac tically ran) back to Central Park and enjoyed the afternoon in the sun scoffing our faces with deliciousness!
We then witnessed two fat ladies waddling back to the city....wait....that was our reflection! Ha. We got half way and decided our body wasn’t handling the cheese too well, so in true Aussie fashion we got half way, decided it was too hard, and hailed a taxi back to our apartment. After a quick shower, it was time to jump onto the subway and head to the Bronx....completely safe and a nice place to hang out, yo. Relax Mum...we were on our way to Yankee Stadium, which is in the Bronx – go figure!
So we had no idea wtf was going on – we yelled “yaaaayy” at the wrong time, with our novelty hands held high. We received many disapproving looks from the hardcore Yankee fans :p So we decided to get all traditional and buy a hot dog at the game. They even had those guys that walk through the stands yelling “HOT DOGS! GET YOUR HOT DOGS!” we had a small giggle. 4 hrs later and the Yankees had several disappointed fans – they’d lost to the Phillies. Either way, we still had a great time – Yankee Stadium is spectacular, it houses 45,000 spectators, has state of the art sound systems and really great hot dogs :p
The train ride home was rather entertaining – we had a little boy in our carriage that thought it was hilarious when he made fart sounds under his armpit. We encouraged him. It was hilarious. That is all. Yes, we are mature 24 year olds travelling the world on our own – it was still funny. So after an action packed day, we were ready to pass out. That’s what we did.
Day 33, 34 & 35:
After consulting our trusty travel book, we decided it would be a good idea to oblige one of the sales people on the street corner and purchase a Hop on Hop off bus ticket, the city is so big and there is so much to see. These tours are a great idea and well worth the money – you get a comprehensive run down of the city’s history narrated to you by a local tour guide, while driving around on a double decker bus. You can get off where ever you like, and get back on at any time – the buses are literally there every 5 minutes. We got the $54 ticket which pretty much covers all of NYC, and the ticket was valid for 2 and a ½ days. We went to ground zero, China Town and Little Italy. We got off in each of these stops. Ground Zero is overwhelming – we finally got to see how much ground the twin towers physically occupied, and what is more amazing is that they are just laying the foundations for the new structure now, almost ten years later. From there we went to Big Wong’s Chinese restaurant in China Town for a cheap but delicious feed – (The Book told us to) and headed into Little Italy for some Gelato and a stroll into some authentic Italian looking streets.
We caught the Staten Island ferry (a free service which anyone can take). The ferry takes you directly past the Statue of Liberty – a 15minutes each way. We bought some I <3 NY t-shirts and a hoodie and decided to purchase some Comedy show tickets to entertain us for the night.
The Comedy tickets we bought were valid for 3 nights so we got to see a lot of funny people. When we walked in the comedian was talking about the I <3 NY t-shirts. He was saying that the only people that wear the t-shirts are tourists and that’s why they are so cheap, you can buy 10 for $5. He said the t-shirts scream “I’m carrying travellers checks – come and mug me” – at that moment we looked down at our newly purchased I <3 NY t-shirts in shame as everyone in the club was in hysterics!
Another funny joke was when the comedian was talking about texting and how kids these days are so absorbed in their technology that in 10 years time people will approach children and say “Hello, how are you?” only to be replied with a “hsssss” (Imagine an angry cat noise). We thought it was funny – guess you had to be there!
The next day we did the Brooklyn loop which took us over the Brooklyn bridge and into Brooklyn. As it had become custom to consult our trusty book for tips on what to see – we opted to suss out something to eat first (surprise :p). We got off at Water St - the book said there was an amazing pizza shop there. We were quick to find the popular eatery – it was the one with the 30 people long line outside a rectangular shop no bigger than our bedrooms back home. We decided that the people in the shop were getting slightly weirded out by Totti and I fogging up their windows and salivating while watching them eat, so we went next door to a little pub instead. We were super keen to find Jacque Torres chocolate shop, so after lunch we located it and restrained ourselves into buying only a few bits of chocolaty goodness. On the way back we decided to walk over the Brooklyn Bridge – we’d recommend everyone do it if they get the chance – the view of the city, the bridge and the river is pretty cool – and for photography geeks like me, is perfect for taking countless photos of the same thing :p
Once we got back we decided we’d use another ticket to a comedy show, so we showered and dressed and made out way to the comedy club.
The next day we did the Upper loop – this took us past a couple of famous attractions like the Julliard School of Arts, Museum mile, and showed us a bunch of old mansions and buildings built in commemoration to some famous dead people :p forgive the lack of detail but we were pretty much sun stroke and delirious by this stage.
After that loop, we went to the Rockefeller Centre and went to the “top of the rock” to see the view of NY. Took lots of photos and decided to retire for the night....via Dunkin Donuts! We recommend the view from Rockefeller because it’s less crowded than the Empire State (well we assume) and you can actually see the Empire State so your photos are more complete.
Day 37:
We left our lovely hotel room and said goodbye to our friendly hotel staff and headed for the Port Authority to catch the bus to Worchester, Connecticut – the Swenson’s. Our bus was rather packed and stank of stale pee. The ride to Hartford, Pennyslvania was about 4 hours and then another 1hr to Worchester. We were greeted by the friendly Cheryl Swenson (Sarah’s MOM) and off we went to Woodstock, Kentucky. So...we’d been in 4 states in one day – New York, Pennyslvania, Connecticut and Kentucky! Woo! (Now I don’t know if these places are right – I’m going off what Totti has dictated, Swenson, perhaps you can clarify :p)
We arrived at the Swenson’s house in the countryside – there were plenty of rolling green hills and old style looking farmhouses – we were so delighted to be reunited with fresh air and silence, we sat outside for a while and took in the amazing scenery – how’s the serenity!
We were extra excited knowing we were going to have a home cooked meal for the next couple of days. We sat down with Cheryl and enjoyed some cheese and crackers and waited for Dana to return from his camping trip. Dana then cooked the most amazing steak on his new toy – the Weber No.2. It was sort of nice to be able to sit down at a proper dinner table and have people fuss over you, mum’s back home, despite our whinging, we do actually appreciate it :p
So after a great dinner we sat in the lounge room with Dana and he talked us through the baseball game being played on the television. Now that the rules have been explained properly it makes a lot more sense. We were also able to have a good cup of tea – FINALLY! And Totti busted out the vegemite and explained the finer details of how this spread should be consumed. Well tired by now, we decided it was time to get some shut eye – much to our delight the bed was extremely comfortable and we passed right out :)
Day 38:
We got up and showered and made our way down to breakfast – again so nice to have some fresh fruit and cereal! Cheryl drove is into Boston and left us to our own devices, so we decided to take the advice from Swenson’s little To Do list and bought tickets for the duck tour. We got stuck in a group full of fourth graders on a school excursion, we were totally the coolest kids on the bus once we told them we were from Australia :p So that took up about 1.5hrs – we just got driven around Boston and got an overview of the town history. After the duck tour we went into the Imac store, we will have you know that they provide superb lavatory facilities and free wifi :p But we had to go in there because Totti needed to get a new phone – her old one had been having epileptic spasms and kept coming up with error messages, so she had to replace it. She was most devastated when she was informed that she would lose all her music (I secretly relished this, as I can only handle the Dixie chicks in small doses :p)
So after that we headed to the north end – it is a predominantly Italian area of Boston and we were keen for a good feed. So we found a small cafe on the corner and got ourselves a bowl of pasta each, and went in search of Maria’s pastry’s for a couple of fresh Cannoli. I have to say, she’d give my auntie a run for her money – the pastry was superb and the filling was as fresh as you can get – it was put into the Cannoli on order.
So with a mouthful of delicious cannoli goodness, we made our way to the train station and caught the train into riverside where we were to be picked up by Cheryl who informed us we would be having homemade ham burgers for dinner and then strawberries for dessert. Yumo! After dinner we introduced Cheryl to our new favourite pastime – the grand game of Shit Head (great for killing a lot of time while waiting in airports, or great to play on long bus trips) I think I have only beaten Totti like 3 times at this grand card game, she’s fairly ruthless, there’s only so many times you can lose at cards until it starts to hurt your feelings :p But it was a hit – Cheryl and Dana loved it, and we were introduced to one of their favourites called Up Stairs, Down Stairs – simple but a lot of good fun. So we whiled away the evening playing a couple of rounds of each game, then headed to sleep – we were gearing up for a big 48hrs of travel.
Day 39:
We started the day with homemade pancakes which were friggan amazing, so after we finished feeding our faces it was time to say goodbye to the Serenity and head to the bus station, back to NYC and catch our plane to Rome via London. The bus trip went quickly enough – luckily the bus was equipped with wifi – so we downloaded this application on our iphones called ‘words with friends’ – its pretty much like scrabble on your iphone. It is the coolest game ever ! It entertained us greatly, I guess you had to be there lol. Totti also downloaded a ‘Step Brothers’ quote application – occasionally I get lovely insults played to me when she can’t be bothered doing it herself haha.
So we made it to NYC and hailed a cab for JFK airport. Things just seemed to get worse from there – there was a huge storm and we ended up sitting in an aeroplane traffic jam on the run way for THREE ENTIRE HOURS! It was tedious to say the least. We were most fortunate to have a woman in front of us coughing her lungs out for the entire time. It sounded like she was unleashing swine flu onto us – so Totti proceeded to pull our her trusty bottle of sanitiser and literally sanitised the back of the woman’s seat.....and the wall....and her own face. I then took the sanitiser and squirted it in the shape of a crucifix to ensure divine intervention would save us from the swine flu. By this stage we were both in stitches – we have a running joke with sanitiser; at first I used to pay Totti out about carrying it everywhere, but then in Brooklyn I came across little sanitiser holders that you clip onto your bag and I now have one dangling off my bag. Go figure. ANYWAY, so in addition to being stuck in a storm on the run way with a swine ridden woman, there was a gentleman who smelled like he’d neglected to bathe for about a century. It. Was. Fal. So we sanitised in his direction also. So after surviving the coughing fits and the stink, we FINALLY got clearance to take off.
The next couple of days were sort of mushed together, so we feel that this entry is to be continued........
Say hi to your dad for us,
Love Ela & Kate xxxx
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
Enough whinging...
Its finally here - yes, thats right - we have risen from our lazy tourist chairs and uploaded some amazing images for your perusal - in case your the type of person who prefers visual aids to go with our intellectual material (coughmumcoughdadcoughswenson)!
From now on - if we update the blog, we will endeavour to put a couple of photos up on our photobucket! Yay - I can hear you cheering from here.
So add it to your favourites peeps because we may not mention this link again...here it is...ready....
http://s179.photobucket.com/home/ElaC10/allalbums
Peace out for now
Say hi to your papa
Ela & Kate xoxo
From now on - if we update the blog, we will endeavour to put a couple of photos up on our photobucket! Yay - I can hear you cheering from here.
So add it to your favourites peeps because we may not mention this link again...here it is...ready....
http://s179.photobucket.com/home/ElaC10/allalbums
Peace out for now
Say hi to your papa
Ela & Kate xoxo
Miami
Day 28
We docked back in Miami port at around 7:30am – another sparrows fart wake up call as we had breakfast in bed, yes it’s a hard life :p Since we were efficient and pre-packed our bags the night before, we promptly left our cabin, said goodbye to the Carnival Liberty and headed for land.
We caught a taxi to South Beach Hostel – it was hoootttt. This, coupled with the fact that we didn’t shower on the boat = sweat and stink, so we were keen for a scrub. Because it was sparrows fart o’clock we couldn’t check in – so we dumped our bags and headed to south beach for a walk. It was still really early so nothing was open –which meant we were now hungry, smelly and sweaty – attractive.
We walked along the beach and Ocean Drive and ended up at Lincoln Bvd – the home of the Miami shopping. We went into Footlocker and decided it was finally time to buy those sneakers we had been talking about since Vegas – clearly we failed at this, so we thought it was about time we actually bought some. Footlocker had a sale on, so Totti bought a pink pair of converse high tops and I bought the traditional black and white version – the only difference (aside from the colour) was that Totti’s shoes cost $25 and mine cost $45, her midgety genetic makeup allows her feet to fit into children’s sizes.
We kept strolling and settled into a pizza place for lunch and to watch the Argentina game. It was pretty cool as the restaurant had the game broadcasting direct from the Spanish channel - we were both very amused by the enthusiastic commentary. So after the game we walked some more and decided to watch a movie at the local cinema, which p.s was 5 bucks and was like cinemax back home, so we were very excited about this. So to improve our already awesome movie experience, we bought some Cold Stone (which is like goodberries, but a million times more awesome and yum) and went to see the Killers. It was nice.
We decided that because we had been talking about our new sneakers since Vegas – that we should bring them out to play in Miami. New city, new shoes. Made sense at the time, no? Initially we were getting strange looks, to the point of walking past people in restaurants and entire tables stopped in mid conversation to stare at us. I mentioned in passing “maybe it’s ‘cause we’re the only ones wearing shoes” and that may have been the cause for all the sideways glances. So mere seconds after I made this observation, every other person was stopping and telling Totti how much they liked her shoes. “Oh hey, cool shoes” “I like your shoes girl”....... so I had shoe envy, and really couldn’t understand why hers were so much cooler than mine, since WE WERE BOTH WEARING CONVERSE!!!! *exhales in frustration*. And it just seemed to get worse, for me anyway – everyone loved Totti. Every second person on the street would just say hi to her, for NO REASON! Totti said she had been told in the past that she had “trusting eyes” and that she was very approachable. I found this highly amusing – as I know that she pinches increasingly hard, I have the bruises to prove it, and that she will attack while I am unsuspecting. She will lull you into a false sense of security and then make her move. When I pointed this fact out to her, she did indeed agree. So as we continued, the hello’s kept coming – in the end I was like “ok, do I have the words “F**k Off” written on my forehead?!
So it just kept getting better for her, she was told she was adorable, that they liked her shoes, at one point we were strolling down the footpath and this mighty ripped African American chap kindly obliged Totti when she asked if she could have a photo with him. We then heard beeping from the traffic lights and looked over to see the hottest looking boys we have ever laid eyes on. They were indicating that they wanted us to take a photo of them, as if to say, we’re as hot as that guy. Then to our surprise, they came and pulled up on the footpath next to us ....shirtless....tattoo’d....muscular....Puerto Rican.... They just seemed to love totti and her friggan shoes....actually, they just loved her (it’s beyond me why, they don’t know her farts could clear a room in about 5 seconds)...... So she got a photo with them, sat on their Vespa, touched their muscles – while I watched from the footpath and took the photo. Woo. The only salvation came when the boys asked Totti for her number – all of a fluster, blushing, but couldn’t wipe the grin off her face, priceless :p The funniest thing about the entire situation was that she seemed to have a momentary lapse in concentration, probably because she was too busy salivating, she gave the boys her phone number without the country code. Bless. But so the moral of the story is, clearly black and white converse are just too average in Miami. So by this stage I was pretty much sick of everyone loving Totti and told the boys they could have her, that I’d wait on the corner and they could bring her back in 20.
Oh, did I mention she had cool shoes?
So we strolled back to our hostel, Totti with a spring in her step and me dragging my average converse shoes along. We hopped into bed and set our alarms for 5.30am *cringe*. Universal studios the next day.
Day 29:
Another sparrows fart start – that was clever wasn’t it :p A 3.5hr bus ride to Orlando, but well worth the wait – universal is pretty friggan awesome!! We spent the day going on as many rides as we could – Shrek, The Mummy, Jaws, Terminator 2, Jimmy Neutron – THE SIMPSONS RIDE!!!!
So by this stage we were well peckish and decided a hot dog would go down a treat. While enjoying our footlong hot dogs, our pleasant atmosphere was interrupted by a monosyllabic and unenthusiastic drone of a voice “whack a mole. Who wants to whack a mole? It’s the funnest game at universal. It only takes two players to start a race. There’s a winner in every game. Whack a mole. Come whack a mole. Did you guys go see jaws? Did he kill him? He always does. I’ve been on the ride a million times and it’s just as scary as the first time. Whaaaaaaaaaaaack a mole” and so it went. Stupid mole. Whack her mole.
Unfortunately, well much to my distaste anyway ( I suspect Totti planned this intentionally so that we would in fact miss it) - we missed the grand opening of the Harry Potter theme park, which by the way, is SO friggan cool. Let us move on, I am still in mourning over this fact. And so before we knew it, it was time to hop back on the bus and head back to Miami. It was such a long day that we were glad to get back to our rickety bunk beds and pass out.
Day 30:
We expected a cruisy uneventful day, so we just opted to walk around Miami some more and maybe do some shopping. We were in Alvins Island – just a souvenir shop, t-shirts, shot glasses etc. We were casually browsing stuff – Totti was looking at sunscreen when through the door, walked Francesco Totti. I was literally lost for words, of all the people, in Miami??? I was like “Totti!!! It’s the REAL Totti!” I am still reeling from this fact, as I am now the envy of my entire family and can totally have bragging rights for like the next ten years. It was pretty friggan cool!!!! He was how ever a man of few words.....actually he didn’t say anything at all. But it completely made our day :)So on that very high note, we proceeded to do some more shopping and while away our afternoon. We went back to the same pizza place and watched Italy vs Paraguay. I opted to keep the fact that I was going for Italy quiet – everyone including Totti was keen to see us lose, plus everyone in the pizza shop was from Argentina, so I guess they had to hate us on principal. Lame game but anyways it was a good feed.
We were pretty pooped by our super eventful day, so headed back to the hostel, showered and went to dinner at TGI Friday’s. We weren’t really in the mood to go out, so we went back to the hostel and packed our stuff, in preparation for another super early wake up call, as we had a 7.30am flight the next morning.
With the prospect of New York upon us, we settled into bed and passed out. Lucky for me the farting was kept to a minimum on this trip – as we had a shared room *praises lord*.
So until next time Floggers and Boggers – Miami is worth it, lots of fun, lots to do, lots of hot people to see. Maybe try buy some bright pink converse and see if they love you as much as they love Totti.
Say hi to your dad for us,
Ela & Kate
Xxxx
We docked back in Miami port at around 7:30am – another sparrows fart wake up call as we had breakfast in bed, yes it’s a hard life :p Since we were efficient and pre-packed our bags the night before, we promptly left our cabin, said goodbye to the Carnival Liberty and headed for land.
We caught a taxi to South Beach Hostel – it was hoootttt. This, coupled with the fact that we didn’t shower on the boat = sweat and stink, so we were keen for a scrub. Because it was sparrows fart o’clock we couldn’t check in – so we dumped our bags and headed to south beach for a walk. It was still really early so nothing was open –which meant we were now hungry, smelly and sweaty – attractive.
We walked along the beach and Ocean Drive and ended up at Lincoln Bvd – the home of the Miami shopping. We went into Footlocker and decided it was finally time to buy those sneakers we had been talking about since Vegas – clearly we failed at this, so we thought it was about time we actually bought some. Footlocker had a sale on, so Totti bought a pink pair of converse high tops and I bought the traditional black and white version – the only difference (aside from the colour) was that Totti’s shoes cost $25 and mine cost $45, her midgety genetic makeup allows her feet to fit into children’s sizes.
We kept strolling and settled into a pizza place for lunch and to watch the Argentina game. It was pretty cool as the restaurant had the game broadcasting direct from the Spanish channel - we were both very amused by the enthusiastic commentary. So after the game we walked some more and decided to watch a movie at the local cinema, which p.s was 5 bucks and was like cinemax back home, so we were very excited about this. So to improve our already awesome movie experience, we bought some Cold Stone (which is like goodberries, but a million times more awesome and yum) and went to see the Killers. It was nice.
We decided that because we had been talking about our new sneakers since Vegas – that we should bring them out to play in Miami. New city, new shoes. Made sense at the time, no? Initially we were getting strange looks, to the point of walking past people in restaurants and entire tables stopped in mid conversation to stare at us. I mentioned in passing “maybe it’s ‘cause we’re the only ones wearing shoes” and that may have been the cause for all the sideways glances. So mere seconds after I made this observation, every other person was stopping and telling Totti how much they liked her shoes. “Oh hey, cool shoes” “I like your shoes girl”....... so I had shoe envy, and really couldn’t understand why hers were so much cooler than mine, since WE WERE BOTH WEARING CONVERSE!!!! *exhales in frustration*. And it just seemed to get worse, for me anyway – everyone loved Totti. Every second person on the street would just say hi to her, for NO REASON! Totti said she had been told in the past that she had “trusting eyes” and that she was very approachable. I found this highly amusing – as I know that she pinches increasingly hard, I have the bruises to prove it, and that she will attack while I am unsuspecting. She will lull you into a false sense of security and then make her move. When I pointed this fact out to her, she did indeed agree. So as we continued, the hello’s kept coming – in the end I was like “ok, do I have the words “F**k Off” written on my forehead?!
So it just kept getting better for her, she was told she was adorable, that they liked her shoes, at one point we were strolling down the footpath and this mighty ripped African American chap kindly obliged Totti when she asked if she could have a photo with him. We then heard beeping from the traffic lights and looked over to see the hottest looking boys we have ever laid eyes on. They were indicating that they wanted us to take a photo of them, as if to say, we’re as hot as that guy. Then to our surprise, they came and pulled up on the footpath next to us ....shirtless....tattoo’d....muscular....Puerto Rican.... They just seemed to love totti and her friggan shoes....actually, they just loved her (it’s beyond me why, they don’t know her farts could clear a room in about 5 seconds)...... So she got a photo with them, sat on their Vespa, touched their muscles – while I watched from the footpath and took the photo. Woo. The only salvation came when the boys asked Totti for her number – all of a fluster, blushing, but couldn’t wipe the grin off her face, priceless :p The funniest thing about the entire situation was that she seemed to have a momentary lapse in concentration, probably because she was too busy salivating, she gave the boys her phone number without the country code. Bless. But so the moral of the story is, clearly black and white converse are just too average in Miami. So by this stage I was pretty much sick of everyone loving Totti and told the boys they could have her, that I’d wait on the corner and they could bring her back in 20.
Oh, did I mention she had cool shoes?
So we strolled back to our hostel, Totti with a spring in her step and me dragging my average converse shoes along. We hopped into bed and set our alarms for 5.30am *cringe*. Universal studios the next day.
Day 29:
Another sparrows fart start – that was clever wasn’t it :p A 3.5hr bus ride to Orlando, but well worth the wait – universal is pretty friggan awesome!! We spent the day going on as many rides as we could – Shrek, The Mummy, Jaws, Terminator 2, Jimmy Neutron – THE SIMPSONS RIDE!!!!
So by this stage we were well peckish and decided a hot dog would go down a treat. While enjoying our footlong hot dogs, our pleasant atmosphere was interrupted by a monosyllabic and unenthusiastic drone of a voice “whack a mole. Who wants to whack a mole? It’s the funnest game at universal. It only takes two players to start a race. There’s a winner in every game. Whack a mole. Come whack a mole. Did you guys go see jaws? Did he kill him? He always does. I’ve been on the ride a million times and it’s just as scary as the first time. Whaaaaaaaaaaaack a mole” and so it went. Stupid mole. Whack her mole.
Unfortunately, well much to my distaste anyway ( I suspect Totti planned this intentionally so that we would in fact miss it) - we missed the grand opening of the Harry Potter theme park, which by the way, is SO friggan cool. Let us move on, I am still in mourning over this fact. And so before we knew it, it was time to hop back on the bus and head back to Miami. It was such a long day that we were glad to get back to our rickety bunk beds and pass out.
Day 30:
We expected a cruisy uneventful day, so we just opted to walk around Miami some more and maybe do some shopping. We were in Alvins Island – just a souvenir shop, t-shirts, shot glasses etc. We were casually browsing stuff – Totti was looking at sunscreen when through the door, walked Francesco Totti. I was literally lost for words, of all the people, in Miami??? I was like “Totti!!! It’s the REAL Totti!” I am still reeling from this fact, as I am now the envy of my entire family and can totally have bragging rights for like the next ten years. It was pretty friggan cool!!!! He was how ever a man of few words.....actually he didn’t say anything at all. But it completely made our day :)So on that very high note, we proceeded to do some more shopping and while away our afternoon. We went back to the same pizza place and watched Italy vs Paraguay. I opted to keep the fact that I was going for Italy quiet – everyone including Totti was keen to see us lose, plus everyone in the pizza shop was from Argentina, so I guess they had to hate us on principal. Lame game but anyways it was a good feed.
We were pretty pooped by our super eventful day, so headed back to the hostel, showered and went to dinner at TGI Friday’s. We weren’t really in the mood to go out, so we went back to the hostel and packed our stuff, in preparation for another super early wake up call, as we had a 7.30am flight the next morning.
With the prospect of New York upon us, we settled into bed and passed out. Lucky for me the farting was kept to a minimum on this trip – as we had a shared room *praises lord*.
So until next time Floggers and Boggers – Miami is worth it, lots of fun, lots to do, lots of hot people to see. Maybe try buy some bright pink converse and see if they love you as much as they love Totti.
Say hi to your dad for us,
Ela & Kate
Xxxx
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Cancun & Cruise
Cancun:
Day 16 continued:
We had a brief 2 hour stop over in Mexico City on our way to Cancun. Let me paint the picture for you...An airport, lots of Mexican non-english speaking people, Totti, Ela, Food. We had a quick bite to eat and then spent the last hour trying to make our way to our gate. Along the way we had to stop and ask airport staff whether we were heading in the right direction. At one stage, I said to Ela “ok, go ask that lady if we are going the right way”. Ela approaches the lady, a little flustered. She holds out her boarding pass as says “So...”. That’s it! She couldn’t string together a sentence. I lost it and it has been the running joke (by me) since then. That is all.
So after finally making it to our gate, we got to board the flight. So much for not getting a cavity search – Totti ended up getting frisked at Mexico City airport – much to Ela’s amusement :p And so finally, after a long day of travelling, we arrived to a hot and muggy Cancun. We caught our shuttle back to our resort and went straight to dinner. When our meals arrived we were promptly asked by the middle aged Mexican waiter “would you like some marijuana?” - it turns out he was serious, as he proceeded to ask us for our room number :p We politely declined, but found it equally hilarious. So after dinner we decided to go for a nice walk along the beach......which turned into an effing hike, as we got lost and couldn’t find the correct entry point back into our hotel. Fail. We ended up like three hotels away, and had to walk back along the main street in the dark with seedy people watching us as we walked by.
Day 17:
After a nice sleep in we eased into the day – much to Totti’s delight, the pool area provided the guests with “pods” – basically just a wicker sphere complete with pillows and mattresses for people to lie in. Totti envisaged spending her day within the safety of the pods – for some reason birds just seem to like her a little too much – it’s actually rather entertaining. Ela feels it’s because totti holds a resemblance to our winged friends, totti just maintains that they hate her. In a nutshell; birds just like to swoop/peck and/or chase her when ever they can. LOL. That is all. They generally strike when she least expects it – I’m not the only one to witness this strange yet hilarious phenomenon. In Monterrey, Michael didn’t believe that birds reacted this way to Kate, until he witnessed a pigeon take aim and dive bomb totti in the middle on St.Lucia. Priceless. ANYWAY – so the birds hate Totti.
We spent the rest of the day in the pool – Totti disturbed the romantic ambiance by bombing into the pool. The happy couples were not impressed, Totti how ever was well chuffed. Ela then tried to teach Totti how to float on her back. Yeah. No. It was pretty much like watching a pebble sink to the bottom of the pool. She just can’t do it. How ever after many failed attempts I think we managed to get some float time happening.
We went to the mall. We didn’t buy anything. We left the mall. That is all. We are small. We went to the Tequila store. We rode a donkey. We wore sombreros. This doesn’t rhyme any more. We left the store. That’s all there is, there isn’t any more.
Upon our return from our highly successful mall trip – Totti was greeted by the cheeky doorman “Hola Miss Walker”. WTF?! Ela was like “WTF dude, Miss Waker?”. Totti replied “Hello”. What ever – she loved it.
We ate dinner. We went to bed. Totti farted. That is all.
Day 18:
Xcaret!!
Today we ventured off to Xcaret. Xcaret is a giant nature park with lots of wildlife (Jaguars, Flamingos, Sharks, Turtles, Dolphins...you get the picture), Mayan ruins, a long river which runs through caves and much more.
We were greeted in the morning by our tour guide Alfredo. He was rather entertaining. We were the only English speaking people in our tour and he was very good with the translation which was handy! Too our amusement, our driver (name unknown) was busting moves to some gangsta hits on the trip out to Xcaret. Ela and I lost it when Eminem’s slim shady started pumping through the speakers. The driver was definitely in the zone...nothing could stop him...so we joined in and started busting our own moves to this great song!
Finally arrived at Xcaret...wow! It was huge. We headed straight for the river swim because it was effing hot. We got our locker, our towels, our pretty life jackets and off we went. We were pretty buggered after the first kilometre, we had another 20km to go! It was very refreshing. We went through about 3 caves, Ela got scared so swam faster through the caves. 3 hours later, we got out of the river and dropped off our snorkel gear and showered.
Next stop....all you can eat buffet, literally. It was so hot by this time we retired to the buffet to try and relieve ourselves from drowning in our own sweat. The buffet was HUGE. There were about 10 food stands with everything you could imagine: roasts, seafood, sushi, pasta, pizza, salad, fruit, dessert, burritos, tacos, cheeses, ice cream...We went crazy and piled up our plates like we hadn’t eaten in 3 weeks. My lord...we ate. We rolled back to our tables with our 4th plate of dessert to be entertained with some soft animal porn. Our table had direct view of the Jaguars – we witness the black jaguar try to put his moves on the orange jaguar. It was very humerous. He had no game and we watched on as he failed after every attempt.
For drinks, we ordered the Pia Maya. A giant pineapple filled with rum. Because it was so hot, we were pretty much two fat drunk ladies getting our dose of porn. Sick.
2 hours later, we finally dragged our fat bodies away from the food and sat under some trees. I can’t really remember what we were doing but it seemed like a good idea at the time! We then found refuge under a hut on some chairs where we passed out for a couple of hours.
We went to the show. We left the show. We watched the chickens hatch. We found Alfredo. We gassed and steamed up the van. Ela tried to douse the smell with her perfume. Totti blamed Ela for the smell. We laughed. We wrote “you are late” on the van door. We laughed some more. We were pretty delirious by this point as we started the day at 7am and it was 11pm by the time we got back to our resort.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....
Day 19:
Slept in. Ela got third degree burns. Totti laughed. We went on a party tour. We got smashed. Totti felt violated on several occasions. We danced on the bar and got free shots. Ela had a shot out of the waitresses cleavage. We did the congo. We drank. We danced.
We went to Congo, Senor Frogs and Coco Bongo. Coco Bongo was amazing. It’s this three storey nightclub with a stage and massive projector screen. They perform shows throughout the night. We saw Troy, Moulin Rouge, Spiderman, Broadway and heaps more. It was very cool.
We caught the seedy bus back to our resort.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....fart................zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....laugh................zzzzzzzzz......
Day 20:
It was time for us to leave Cancun. We checked out and said goodbye to our Mexican bell-boys.
Hello...miami. We arrived to a hurricane. Not really...it was just a massive storm. We checked into to our dodgy hotel (we were staying at Port Miami because we needed to be on the cruise the next day). We decided to take a wander to find some food. It wasn’t raining at this stage so we thought we’d be fine. We found a chicken place – it was very tasty. It then started pissing down rain. So we swam back to our hotel, completely saturated. We were so keen for a hot shower....oh hell no....no hot water in this hotel. So we sat in our wet clothes like little orphan children. We watched a movie...well Ela watched the movie and I passed out. I woke up and was hungry so we went to Joe’s Cafe and got some popcorn, ice cream , bagel and juice. We fell asleep.
At about 3am...we were woken by some rather loud activity happening in the adjoining room. Now we can’t be certain, but it sounded like they were making a porno. 1 hour later...we were still awake and listening to our neighbour screaming the hotel down. She was clearly enjoying herself. Basically sounded like Maria Sharapova in a porno. Sick.
CRUISE:
Day 21:
We caught a shuttle to Miami Port where we proceeded to check in to Carnival Liberty. We were boarding a 1100 tonne cruise ship which is currently home to 1000 crew. The cruise is bound for the Western Carribean...yeah, you heard.
Once we boarded it was straight to the food! We ate a stinky hot dog and some nuggets. We hadn’t showered in a couple of days so we were pretty keen for that, however our luggage took a while to arrive so we wandered around trying to familiarise ourselves with the 11 storey ship.
Finally our luggage, a shower and a massive dinner. Our lives were complete.
We decided to make our way to the theatre to see the welcome aboard show. Our cruise director Butch called some gentlemen on stage, a newlywed Richard, Dale, married 25 years, and old George, bless his soul, who’d been married 60 years. Butch made them have a dance contest – Richard the newlywed, had to have rhythm based on principal, he was bleck, if he couldn’t dance, that would be a fail. So he had some moves. Dale was a super sized Texan. Fail. Enough said. Up until this point, George had been relatively subdued, so with some audience encouragement, he made his way gingerly to the front of the stage. Once the beat started pumping, George got moving, and much to everyone’s great amusement, he proceeded to strip. Not all the way of course, just a flash, but it was by far the most hilarious and genuine attempt – he was 60, he didn’t have to try and impress anyone. What a legend. The crowd gave him a standing ovation, and well deserved. And so on that happy note, we retired to our cabins and passed out.
Day 22:
First day at sea. We got room service for breakfast in bed. Then it was up to floor 11 for some pampering. We both got the Travellers Tension massage which was treatment of the head, neck, shoulders and feet. So nice. We then both got our hair coloured and cut. Ah...it felt...so nice.
We then went to floor 9 for some lunch. We had vegetable stir-fry. Far out...it was so tasty. We then proceeded to sit at the pool bar and watch 3498 people try and fit in the pool. We were approached by 2 young fellows, Justin and Joe. They asked us to dinner, which we politely accepted. Joe was very drunk and disorderly but rather entertaining. Did Justin mention he was single, a personal trainer, a lifeguard and awesome? Ahh....it was going to be a LONG dinner.
Totti out stunk stink. I never thought it was possible – but she out stank herself. Far out. She needed an exorcism of the ass. She literally almost farted me to death – it was like being in the effing holocaust. Peeeee-eeeewww!!!! I decided I needed some FRESH SEA AIR.
So we got ready for dinner...I thought it was going to be a dead end evening – but it was salvaged by totti. When Justin finished telling us his ambitions of becoming an underwear model for the tenth time in a row – he also mentioned he had a mole removed.......why...why oh why.. Totti “sooooo....did you chop it off....cut it up......and make some....GUACA-MOL—EEE” Oh dear. And that’s how the night ended.
We then made our way to the adult comedy show – Too funny. Joke of the night: The comedian (Phat Cat) was discussing the finer points of the song that goes a little something like
“my neck, my back....” we think you know it :p His mamma said “That girl is Nas-ty!!” he asked his mum “why?” she replied “ well if she’s asking you to lick her from her back to her front she’s going to get a yeast infection..... You gunna wake up with a loaf of bread on your face” we lost it – too funny. So wrong. Lol.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Day 23:
Cozumel. We had breakfast in bed and then we got off the ship to explore the island of Cozumel, Mexico. We caught the taxi to town and had a look at the local stores, and once we finished there we made our way to Playa Del Maya – a beach park with kayaks, jet skis, snorkelling, pools, trampoline, a giant inflatable mountain in the middle of the water, open bar, floating mattresses. Ahhh. So we had a nice relaxing day at the beach, went out on the kayak, got a floating mattress, Ela got more burnt, we ate some chicken, drank some daiquiris, that’s pretty much it!!!
Once back on the ship we showered and watched a movie, did some laundry, went to dinner and came back to our cabins and passed out.
Day 24:
After a sleep in, we had a pretty lazy day – sun baked. Ate. Ate.....ate....ate....Bummed. Snoozed. Then we decided to go and watch Butch’s Game of Love. As corny as it sounded, there was nothing better to do, so we thought we’d have nothing to lose. We were glad we attended – I don’t think either of us had laughed that hard in a VERY long while.
Three couples were called up on stage – newlyweds, a couple that had been married for roughly 26 years and then some old timers. So they were seated back to back on the stage and were handed a pen and paper each. At first they were asked a series on questions related to their time as a married couple; bad habits, first time they met, best sex they ever had, etc etc. Both partners had to answer and then the answers were read out loud to the audience . The most anticipated answers came when the couples were asked to describe their sex life in relation to a movie title. The newlywed husband answered “free willy”. The wife from the 26 year marriage answered “Gone in 60 seconds” – her husband came up with “Journey to the centre of the earth” Oh how we laughed. But the best answer came from the elderly couple, the wife’s answer was “Finding Nemo” and her husband stole the show with “Deep Throat” Everyone in the theatre literally wet themselves. He was a cheeky bugger.
Day 25:
Grand Cayman. Well –it was pretty much an island paradise. We spent the entire day swimming and walking along the beach, and we took a tour which took us to some dolphins, the Tortuga Rum factory and to a place called ‘Hell’ – it’s a bunch of creepy rock formations. Lol. Go figure. A pretty cruisy day all round.
When we got back on the ship, we showered and had an afternoon nap. After dinner we went to see the hypnosis show – it was pretty cool – some of the stuff he had the audience do was very entertaining, but we were more excited for the R rated version the next night....
Day 26:
Ocho Rios – Jamaica.
Needless to say – this has been the most anticipated stop for us on this entire cruise. We had one main objective – get someone to say “Yu Mun”. That didn’t take long at all :p Neither did getting offered some local ganja. We literally walked off the boat and through the port gates, when two men were quick to stop us and offer. We decided we’d count the amount of times we were offered some hash, and I think over the course of the entire day it totalled to about 7.
So we proceeded down the main street – Jamaica is beautiful, the island is green and is pretty much rainforest. There isn’t really a middle class – so the main city area is a riot of markets and cars and people. The mountains are where the rich people live.Their main productivity comes from coffee, aluminium and sugar. We were stopped by an older Jamaican man, nick named “Spicy” – he was good value, he persuaded us into letting him be our tour guide – Ela obliged hesitantly, as she maintained that he would take us into some deserted patch of jungle and kill us, chop us into small bits and then use our organs for some random voodoo ritual. Therefore she would never be able to fulfil her life’s ambitions, whatever they may be, and that her tortured soul would then plague Totti for the rest of her days.
As it turned out, he was a good egg – we drove up into the rainforest, it was stunning – along the way there were little stalls decked out with bright cloths and locally made trinkets and the usual touristy stuff.
The roads continued to wind, along the roadside the small houses were dilapidated but still home to some of the poorer Jamaican community – but despite their living conditions their spirit was never broken – we stopped and had the privilege of meeting a very lovely Jamaican woman by the name of June. She showed us some local herbs which smelled amazing, then we bought some t-shirts and bracelets and Totti’s salesman friend kindly offered to roll us a blunt. Lol. It was humid and the mozzies made a meal of us – but June was awesome, Ela was chuffed when she was told “I like your style, sista” (In a cool Jamaican accent).
From there we took a short drive into the countryside and then to Spicey’s home town – where we stopped at his local bar and had some Jamaican made rum and pepsi. Sooooo..Our day became interesting :p well relaxed, we made our way back down the mountain, and took a photo next to the waterfalls. Upon exiting the photo area – Spicy found us some super sexy Jamaican street cop boys, Kirk and Dwayne, who basically became our escorts for the day. We stopped at a bar where Ela was promptly made some Ganja tea and some old guy offered her Cocaine lol. More than content with the Ganja tea and a few more rums, the day became pretty amusing.
We spent the day wondering the streets and made inappropriate small talk with our escorts – entertained some local shop keepers with our amazing dance moves – they said they liked us anyway, and I suppose it was kind of true, since they topped up Ela’s ganja tea and also cause they said “we like you guys” – again, some old dude stoned off his chops offered us some ganja over the counter. LOL.
So – our escorts were pretty much ready to commit to marriage by this stage. We spent the rest of the day at a bar. We got them wasted and just drank away the afternoon, later joined by our crazy driver Spicy – we ended up having a pretty awesome day.
By the time we got back to our cabin we were pretty well off our chops – mind you it was only about 2pm. Sigh.
So after a couple of hours of trying to unsuccessfully play cards and well...not doing much at all lol. We showered and got ready for an early dinner. We bummed around and made it to the midnight hypnosis show.
The audience was asked to do some pretty hilarious stuff – like hallucinate that the host was starkers on stage, he asked the women to picture him with a huge wang, and some of the reactions were priceless. Most of the women recoiled in disgust, except for one African American woman whom sat back and soaked in the view with a most satisfied look on her face which plainly stated
“Dayyyuuum”. LOL. He also asked the women to simulate earth shattering orgasms and he asked the men to pretend that they were world class porn stars, with one objective: have sex with an inanimate chair (who in theory was a smokin’ hot woman). Wow. Lol. Some of the younger men opted for an errrmm...rougher approach, all usually coming from behind. One guy had the audience in stitches, he went down on the chair, yes, he went down on a chair. This one latino man put them all to shame, he had some moves. So overall it was worth staying up till midnight for.
Day 27:
Our last day at sea. We woke up at 12 and had lunch. We then went along to the towel animal making session. Random, yes, but every night when we come back to our rooms, there has been a little towel animal waiting on our bed for us. It’s rather cute. So we went and learned how to make an elephant and a dog.
Then we went back to our cabin and spent some time informing you all of our amazing adventures while writing this blog. Tonight we don’t have much planned, as we dock back in Miami tomorrow at 7.30am. So tonight we are going to watch the opening ceremony of the world cup and just relax.
It’s been a fantastic week – very relaxing, lots of good food, good fun and interesting people. The cruise staff has been brilliant and everything we’ve wanted or needed has been readily available to us. It’s so worth it and anyone thinking of doing a cruise – two thumbs up, you won’t regret it.
So for now we leave you, as we head to Miami for some more fun in the sun, a day at universal studios and South Beach. Ya Mun.
Say hi to your dad for us,
Kate and Ela xx
Day 16 continued:
We had a brief 2 hour stop over in Mexico City on our way to Cancun. Let me paint the picture for you...An airport, lots of Mexican non-english speaking people, Totti, Ela, Food. We had a quick bite to eat and then spent the last hour trying to make our way to our gate. Along the way we had to stop and ask airport staff whether we were heading in the right direction. At one stage, I said to Ela “ok, go ask that lady if we are going the right way”. Ela approaches the lady, a little flustered. She holds out her boarding pass as says “So...”. That’s it! She couldn’t string together a sentence. I lost it and it has been the running joke (by me) since then. That is all.
So after finally making it to our gate, we got to board the flight. So much for not getting a cavity search – Totti ended up getting frisked at Mexico City airport – much to Ela’s amusement :p And so finally, after a long day of travelling, we arrived to a hot and muggy Cancun. We caught our shuttle back to our resort and went straight to dinner. When our meals arrived we were promptly asked by the middle aged Mexican waiter “would you like some marijuana?” - it turns out he was serious, as he proceeded to ask us for our room number :p We politely declined, but found it equally hilarious. So after dinner we decided to go for a nice walk along the beach......which turned into an effing hike, as we got lost and couldn’t find the correct entry point back into our hotel. Fail. We ended up like three hotels away, and had to walk back along the main street in the dark with seedy people watching us as we walked by.
Day 17:
After a nice sleep in we eased into the day – much to Totti’s delight, the pool area provided the guests with “pods” – basically just a wicker sphere complete with pillows and mattresses for people to lie in. Totti envisaged spending her day within the safety of the pods – for some reason birds just seem to like her a little too much – it’s actually rather entertaining. Ela feels it’s because totti holds a resemblance to our winged friends, totti just maintains that they hate her. In a nutshell; birds just like to swoop/peck and/or chase her when ever they can. LOL. That is all. They generally strike when she least expects it – I’m not the only one to witness this strange yet hilarious phenomenon. In Monterrey, Michael didn’t believe that birds reacted this way to Kate, until he witnessed a pigeon take aim and dive bomb totti in the middle on St.Lucia. Priceless. ANYWAY – so the birds hate Totti.
We spent the rest of the day in the pool – Totti disturbed the romantic ambiance by bombing into the pool. The happy couples were not impressed, Totti how ever was well chuffed. Ela then tried to teach Totti how to float on her back. Yeah. No. It was pretty much like watching a pebble sink to the bottom of the pool. She just can’t do it. How ever after many failed attempts I think we managed to get some float time happening.
We went to the mall. We didn’t buy anything. We left the mall. That is all. We are small. We went to the Tequila store. We rode a donkey. We wore sombreros. This doesn’t rhyme any more. We left the store. That’s all there is, there isn’t any more.
Upon our return from our highly successful mall trip – Totti was greeted by the cheeky doorman “Hola Miss Walker”. WTF?! Ela was like “WTF dude, Miss Waker?”. Totti replied “Hello”. What ever – she loved it.
We ate dinner. We went to bed. Totti farted. That is all.
Day 18:
Xcaret!!
Today we ventured off to Xcaret. Xcaret is a giant nature park with lots of wildlife (Jaguars, Flamingos, Sharks, Turtles, Dolphins...you get the picture), Mayan ruins, a long river which runs through caves and much more.
We were greeted in the morning by our tour guide Alfredo. He was rather entertaining. We were the only English speaking people in our tour and he was very good with the translation which was handy! Too our amusement, our driver (name unknown) was busting moves to some gangsta hits on the trip out to Xcaret. Ela and I lost it when Eminem’s slim shady started pumping through the speakers. The driver was definitely in the zone...nothing could stop him...so we joined in and started busting our own moves to this great song!
Finally arrived at Xcaret...wow! It was huge. We headed straight for the river swim because it was effing hot. We got our locker, our towels, our pretty life jackets and off we went. We were pretty buggered after the first kilometre, we had another 20km to go! It was very refreshing. We went through about 3 caves, Ela got scared so swam faster through the caves. 3 hours later, we got out of the river and dropped off our snorkel gear and showered.
Next stop....all you can eat buffet, literally. It was so hot by this time we retired to the buffet to try and relieve ourselves from drowning in our own sweat. The buffet was HUGE. There were about 10 food stands with everything you could imagine: roasts, seafood, sushi, pasta, pizza, salad, fruit, dessert, burritos, tacos, cheeses, ice cream...We went crazy and piled up our plates like we hadn’t eaten in 3 weeks. My lord...we ate. We rolled back to our tables with our 4th plate of dessert to be entertained with some soft animal porn. Our table had direct view of the Jaguars – we witness the black jaguar try to put his moves on the orange jaguar. It was very humerous. He had no game and we watched on as he failed after every attempt.
For drinks, we ordered the Pia Maya. A giant pineapple filled with rum. Because it was so hot, we were pretty much two fat drunk ladies getting our dose of porn. Sick.
2 hours later, we finally dragged our fat bodies away from the food and sat under some trees. I can’t really remember what we were doing but it seemed like a good idea at the time! We then found refuge under a hut on some chairs where we passed out for a couple of hours.
We went to the show. We left the show. We watched the chickens hatch. We found Alfredo. We gassed and steamed up the van. Ela tried to douse the smell with her perfume. Totti blamed Ela for the smell. We laughed. We wrote “you are late” on the van door. We laughed some more. We were pretty delirious by this point as we started the day at 7am and it was 11pm by the time we got back to our resort.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....
Day 19:
Slept in. Ela got third degree burns. Totti laughed. We went on a party tour. We got smashed. Totti felt violated on several occasions. We danced on the bar and got free shots. Ela had a shot out of the waitresses cleavage. We did the congo. We drank. We danced.
We went to Congo, Senor Frogs and Coco Bongo. Coco Bongo was amazing. It’s this three storey nightclub with a stage and massive projector screen. They perform shows throughout the night. We saw Troy, Moulin Rouge, Spiderman, Broadway and heaps more. It was very cool.
We caught the seedy bus back to our resort.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....fart................zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....laugh................zzzzzzzzz......
Day 20:
It was time for us to leave Cancun. We checked out and said goodbye to our Mexican bell-boys.
Hello...miami. We arrived to a hurricane. Not really...it was just a massive storm. We checked into to our dodgy hotel (we were staying at Port Miami because we needed to be on the cruise the next day). We decided to take a wander to find some food. It wasn’t raining at this stage so we thought we’d be fine. We found a chicken place – it was very tasty. It then started pissing down rain. So we swam back to our hotel, completely saturated. We were so keen for a hot shower....oh hell no....no hot water in this hotel. So we sat in our wet clothes like little orphan children. We watched a movie...well Ela watched the movie and I passed out. I woke up and was hungry so we went to Joe’s Cafe and got some popcorn, ice cream , bagel and juice. We fell asleep.
At about 3am...we were woken by some rather loud activity happening in the adjoining room. Now we can’t be certain, but it sounded like they were making a porno. 1 hour later...we were still awake and listening to our neighbour screaming the hotel down. She was clearly enjoying herself. Basically sounded like Maria Sharapova in a porno. Sick.
CRUISE:
Day 21:
We caught a shuttle to Miami Port where we proceeded to check in to Carnival Liberty. We were boarding a 1100 tonne cruise ship which is currently home to 1000 crew. The cruise is bound for the Western Carribean...yeah, you heard.
Once we boarded it was straight to the food! We ate a stinky hot dog and some nuggets. We hadn’t showered in a couple of days so we were pretty keen for that, however our luggage took a while to arrive so we wandered around trying to familiarise ourselves with the 11 storey ship.
Finally our luggage, a shower and a massive dinner. Our lives were complete.
We decided to make our way to the theatre to see the welcome aboard show. Our cruise director Butch called some gentlemen on stage, a newlywed Richard, Dale, married 25 years, and old George, bless his soul, who’d been married 60 years. Butch made them have a dance contest – Richard the newlywed, had to have rhythm based on principal, he was bleck, if he couldn’t dance, that would be a fail. So he had some moves. Dale was a super sized Texan. Fail. Enough said. Up until this point, George had been relatively subdued, so with some audience encouragement, he made his way gingerly to the front of the stage. Once the beat started pumping, George got moving, and much to everyone’s great amusement, he proceeded to strip. Not all the way of course, just a flash, but it was by far the most hilarious and genuine attempt – he was 60, he didn’t have to try and impress anyone. What a legend. The crowd gave him a standing ovation, and well deserved. And so on that happy note, we retired to our cabins and passed out.
Day 22:
First day at sea. We got room service for breakfast in bed. Then it was up to floor 11 for some pampering. We both got the Travellers Tension massage which was treatment of the head, neck, shoulders and feet. So nice. We then both got our hair coloured and cut. Ah...it felt...so nice.
We then went to floor 9 for some lunch. We had vegetable stir-fry. Far out...it was so tasty. We then proceeded to sit at the pool bar and watch 3498 people try and fit in the pool. We were approached by 2 young fellows, Justin and Joe. They asked us to dinner, which we politely accepted. Joe was very drunk and disorderly but rather entertaining. Did Justin mention he was single, a personal trainer, a lifeguard and awesome? Ahh....it was going to be a LONG dinner.
Totti out stunk stink. I never thought it was possible – but she out stank herself. Far out. She needed an exorcism of the ass. She literally almost farted me to death – it was like being in the effing holocaust. Peeeee-eeeewww!!!! I decided I needed some FRESH SEA AIR.
So we got ready for dinner...I thought it was going to be a dead end evening – but it was salvaged by totti. When Justin finished telling us his ambitions of becoming an underwear model for the tenth time in a row – he also mentioned he had a mole removed.......why...why oh why.. Totti “sooooo....did you chop it off....cut it up......and make some....GUACA-MOL—EEE” Oh dear. And that’s how the night ended.
We then made our way to the adult comedy show – Too funny. Joke of the night: The comedian (Phat Cat) was discussing the finer points of the song that goes a little something like
“my neck, my back....” we think you know it :p His mamma said “That girl is Nas-ty!!” he asked his mum “why?” she replied “ well if she’s asking you to lick her from her back to her front she’s going to get a yeast infection..... You gunna wake up with a loaf of bread on your face” we lost it – too funny. So wrong. Lol.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Day 23:
Cozumel. We had breakfast in bed and then we got off the ship to explore the island of Cozumel, Mexico. We caught the taxi to town and had a look at the local stores, and once we finished there we made our way to Playa Del Maya – a beach park with kayaks, jet skis, snorkelling, pools, trampoline, a giant inflatable mountain in the middle of the water, open bar, floating mattresses. Ahhh. So we had a nice relaxing day at the beach, went out on the kayak, got a floating mattress, Ela got more burnt, we ate some chicken, drank some daiquiris, that’s pretty much it!!!
Once back on the ship we showered and watched a movie, did some laundry, went to dinner and came back to our cabins and passed out.
Day 24:
After a sleep in, we had a pretty lazy day – sun baked. Ate. Ate.....ate....ate....Bummed. Snoozed. Then we decided to go and watch Butch’s Game of Love. As corny as it sounded, there was nothing better to do, so we thought we’d have nothing to lose. We were glad we attended – I don’t think either of us had laughed that hard in a VERY long while.
Three couples were called up on stage – newlyweds, a couple that had been married for roughly 26 years and then some old timers. So they were seated back to back on the stage and were handed a pen and paper each. At first they were asked a series on questions related to their time as a married couple; bad habits, first time they met, best sex they ever had, etc etc. Both partners had to answer and then the answers were read out loud to the audience . The most anticipated answers came when the couples were asked to describe their sex life in relation to a movie title. The newlywed husband answered “free willy”. The wife from the 26 year marriage answered “Gone in 60 seconds” – her husband came up with “Journey to the centre of the earth” Oh how we laughed. But the best answer came from the elderly couple, the wife’s answer was “Finding Nemo” and her husband stole the show with “Deep Throat” Everyone in the theatre literally wet themselves. He was a cheeky bugger.
Day 25:
Grand Cayman. Well –it was pretty much an island paradise. We spent the entire day swimming and walking along the beach, and we took a tour which took us to some dolphins, the Tortuga Rum factory and to a place called ‘Hell’ – it’s a bunch of creepy rock formations. Lol. Go figure. A pretty cruisy day all round.
When we got back on the ship, we showered and had an afternoon nap. After dinner we went to see the hypnosis show – it was pretty cool – some of the stuff he had the audience do was very entertaining, but we were more excited for the R rated version the next night....
Day 26:
Ocho Rios – Jamaica.
Needless to say – this has been the most anticipated stop for us on this entire cruise. We had one main objective – get someone to say “Yu Mun”. That didn’t take long at all :p Neither did getting offered some local ganja. We literally walked off the boat and through the port gates, when two men were quick to stop us and offer. We decided we’d count the amount of times we were offered some hash, and I think over the course of the entire day it totalled to about 7.
So we proceeded down the main street – Jamaica is beautiful, the island is green and is pretty much rainforest. There isn’t really a middle class – so the main city area is a riot of markets and cars and people. The mountains are where the rich people live.Their main productivity comes from coffee, aluminium and sugar. We were stopped by an older Jamaican man, nick named “Spicy” – he was good value, he persuaded us into letting him be our tour guide – Ela obliged hesitantly, as she maintained that he would take us into some deserted patch of jungle and kill us, chop us into small bits and then use our organs for some random voodoo ritual. Therefore she would never be able to fulfil her life’s ambitions, whatever they may be, and that her tortured soul would then plague Totti for the rest of her days.
As it turned out, he was a good egg – we drove up into the rainforest, it was stunning – along the way there were little stalls decked out with bright cloths and locally made trinkets and the usual touristy stuff.
The roads continued to wind, along the roadside the small houses were dilapidated but still home to some of the poorer Jamaican community – but despite their living conditions their spirit was never broken – we stopped and had the privilege of meeting a very lovely Jamaican woman by the name of June. She showed us some local herbs which smelled amazing, then we bought some t-shirts and bracelets and Totti’s salesman friend kindly offered to roll us a blunt. Lol. It was humid and the mozzies made a meal of us – but June was awesome, Ela was chuffed when she was told “I like your style, sista” (In a cool Jamaican accent).
From there we took a short drive into the countryside and then to Spicey’s home town – where we stopped at his local bar and had some Jamaican made rum and pepsi. Sooooo..Our day became interesting :p well relaxed, we made our way back down the mountain, and took a photo next to the waterfalls. Upon exiting the photo area – Spicy found us some super sexy Jamaican street cop boys, Kirk and Dwayne, who basically became our escorts for the day. We stopped at a bar where Ela was promptly made some Ganja tea and some old guy offered her Cocaine lol. More than content with the Ganja tea and a few more rums, the day became pretty amusing.
We spent the day wondering the streets and made inappropriate small talk with our escorts – entertained some local shop keepers with our amazing dance moves – they said they liked us anyway, and I suppose it was kind of true, since they topped up Ela’s ganja tea and also cause they said “we like you guys” – again, some old dude stoned off his chops offered us some ganja over the counter. LOL.
So – our escorts were pretty much ready to commit to marriage by this stage. We spent the rest of the day at a bar. We got them wasted and just drank away the afternoon, later joined by our crazy driver Spicy – we ended up having a pretty awesome day.
By the time we got back to our cabin we were pretty well off our chops – mind you it was only about 2pm. Sigh.
So after a couple of hours of trying to unsuccessfully play cards and well...not doing much at all lol. We showered and got ready for an early dinner. We bummed around and made it to the midnight hypnosis show.
The audience was asked to do some pretty hilarious stuff – like hallucinate that the host was starkers on stage, he asked the women to picture him with a huge wang, and some of the reactions were priceless. Most of the women recoiled in disgust, except for one African American woman whom sat back and soaked in the view with a most satisfied look on her face which plainly stated
“Dayyyuuum”. LOL. He also asked the women to simulate earth shattering orgasms and he asked the men to pretend that they were world class porn stars, with one objective: have sex with an inanimate chair (who in theory was a smokin’ hot woman). Wow. Lol. Some of the younger men opted for an errrmm...rougher approach, all usually coming from behind. One guy had the audience in stitches, he went down on the chair, yes, he went down on a chair. This one latino man put them all to shame, he had some moves. So overall it was worth staying up till midnight for.
Day 27:
Our last day at sea. We woke up at 12 and had lunch. We then went along to the towel animal making session. Random, yes, but every night when we come back to our rooms, there has been a little towel animal waiting on our bed for us. It’s rather cute. So we went and learned how to make an elephant and a dog.
Then we went back to our cabin and spent some time informing you all of our amazing adventures while writing this blog. Tonight we don’t have much planned, as we dock back in Miami tomorrow at 7.30am. So tonight we are going to watch the opening ceremony of the world cup and just relax.
It’s been a fantastic week – very relaxing, lots of good food, good fun and interesting people. The cruise staff has been brilliant and everything we’ve wanted or needed has been readily available to us. It’s so worth it and anyone thinking of doing a cruise – two thumbs up, you won’t regret it.
So for now we leave you, as we head to Miami for some more fun in the sun, a day at universal studios and South Beach. Ya Mun.
Say hi to your dad for us,
Kate and Ela xx
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Monterrey, Mexico.
Monterrey, Mexico
Day 12 – continued...
We finally touched down in Meh-ico to a stinking hot Monterrey. We were expecting a nice quiet sleeping plane ride (seeing as we were the only ones who could speak English....at least that’s what we thought!) – however the lad in front of us was from Utah (a moreman!) and was quick to start up a conversation....which didn’t stop for the whole 3 effing hours. FML!
Mexico Customs is well...haha....basic to say the least! Ela put her bags through the x-ray machine...picked up her bags and headed straight for the exit doors. To both of our surprises, two armed men pointed their guns and yelled “ALTO! ALTO!” (Stop!) We were greeted at the airport by the lovely Michael (Kate’s eldest brother) and his fiancée Paulina. We were swiftly put in our town-car (a bit like celebrities really!) and then off we went.
We arrived late so after a quick chat, we went to catch some well earned zzzz’s.
Day 13:
We slept in till 11am...ahhh...bliss! Then Michael called us a taxi and we went to a couple of malls. So....kinda interesting to see how EVERYONE stares at us whities. Totti was a white tiger amongst all the orange ones! We are like an endangered species.
Shopping = FAIL! We didn’t buy one single item. Sigh.
We had a quick skype session with Ma and Papa Walker which was lovely Then....it was off to Nueva Luna (New Moon – restaurant/bar/nightclub/everything!). We had traditional tacos for dinner – 2 types of cow, chicken and sausage (simular to cabanossi). It came out on a giant hot plate, Deliciousness. Ela and I ordered 2 margaritas (expecting the standard measure)....oh hell no. When they came out they were literally a fish bowl with legs! And potent at that! So we proceeded to drink them...then a little sick...then some dancing. The Mexicans were intrigued with our dance moves (or lack of). One Mexican chica approached us and praised our dance moves and then proceeded to try and rape Ela! LOL.
Day 14:
Another sleep in. Michael took us to St Lucia – the heart of Monterrey which has a man made river through it which tourist boats travel up and down. The river has stores and restaurants along the bank. We walked for about 20 mins and then stopped at one of the stores and bought a watermelon popsicle. Yum. We caught the boat ride back...again “non intiendes espanol”. “Si”.
After a short siesta, we were taxied off to Paulina’s house for the much anticipated Bachelorette partay. Ah...how can we describe this. Picture 40 mexican lasses who don’t speak any English and then picture Ela and I entering the room and then the silence. Lucky for us, Paulina speaks both English and Spanish. However, Totti did dabble in the Spanish! The first language barrier was hit when Paulina was explaining to the group about our trip...to indicate ‘around the world’, Totti stuck her index finger in the air and twirled it in a circle motion. HA! FAIL. Apparently in Mexico, that movement means that you sleep around. That would explain the hysteric laughter. The second incident came at dinner. Totti queried whether the ‘salsa’ was JALEPENO. Well...that was the running joke for the rest of the night. We still don’t understand why!
The party begun with speeches. The tradition in Mexico is for a book to be made for the bride to be by her friends. There were lots of tears and although we didn’t fully understand what they were saying, we could tell everyone was very moved. It was very sweet.
The hightlight of the night was the Mexican dragqueens! OH MY GOD. There are no words...just check out the pictures. The dragqueens danced and sang and also told jokes. The jokes were in Spanish, however they did ALOT of actions (gyrating mainly!) to go with the jokes...it was clear to us, although we didn’t get the punch line, we could tell they were very dirty. At one point, the queen pulled out a dirty pad. BARF!
Paulina’s family were very sweet – despite the language barrier – we could tell that we were very welcome and they were happy to meet us! A very fun and interesting night
Day 15:
Clearly a communication error between Totti and her brother – she set the alarm for 8:30am and so we got up. Michael and Paulina slept in till 11. Fail.
Once we were all up, Paulina and Michael took us to San Tiago – about 30minutes out of Monterrey. We went to Collo del Caballo (the horses neck) - a national heritage park with a protected waterfall. We got a taste of a more traditional Mexican atmosphere – with lots of little stalls up the mountain selling lots of leather bound goods, lots of colourful cloths, maracas, food, Tequila :p
We made our way steadily up the mountain – covered in a canopy of tropical trees. The path was flanked by traditional stone grills where people were lighting them and having bbq’s which filled the air with deliciousness. And finally we made it to the base of the waterfall – it was massive. Once at the top you can see the trail it has carved into the mountain, and where the water flows all the way down to the bottom. It was pretty spectacular.
On the way back down we got caught in the tropical thunderstorm – it literally bucketed down rain!!! We found shelter in one of the little stalls and waited with a small cluster of other saturated mountaineers for the storm to pass. Some just opted to keep walking as they were already wet enough. Overall a great hike
On the way back – we did a drive through Carl Jnr (a burger store) in a Mexican cab. Nice. We got these gigantic delicious burgers with sliced and fried potatoes. Complementary jalapeno peppers included – as a challenge Ela ate one of the small tubs. Hello toilet – sucks to be you!
Totti and I then decided to showcase our amazing futbol talents – we went and joined in with some small Mexican kids in the street, who were very happy to have us. Again the sign language was used to indicate our desire to play. Lucky it was pretty basic – one point to ourselves, then another at the ball. Enough said. Game on it was a highlight for both of us – a great afternoon. Needless to say we dominated the little amigos!
We went down to St Lucia for dinner by the river. It was about 11:30pm by the time we got down there. So....Ela and I got the English menus – ah HOORAY! However, we still managed to fail at our order. You see, although the menu was in English, the ingredients were not so easy to understand. We decided we wanted an entree, so we pointed to the one that said “Cheese” – a word we know. The waiter bought out our entree – it looked like giant crackers with a little bit of cheese and a thick blot of vegemite....that, plus crap! We asked Paulina to ask the waiter “What the heck did we order”. After conversing with the waiter, Paulina turns to us and cracks up laughing and says “eewwwwwwww”. She proceeds to inform us that the black stuff is the root of corn mushed up with corn and fungi....that, plus crap! So we both agreed that since we ordered it, we must try it. Vom. It tasted like gooey, chunky mud...that, plus crap. It was awful. Totti’s teeth were pitch black – see photos. We scraped off the rest of the gunk and just at the crackers and cheese. Entree fail.
We got home at about 1am – after a quick skype with Ma and Papa Walker, we said our final goodbye to Paulina and went to bed.
Day 16:
We got up reasonably early and packed our bags. Michael had a class (he teaches English to the Mexicans) in the morning so we just waited until he returned. This afternoon we head off to the airport to catch our flight to Cancun via Mexico City.
Sooooo. When checking in baggage, we were shocked to find that their definition of scanning bags was erm....manual. Totti got her undies searched, much to her embarrassment – perhaps they were looking for something suspicious in her undies.....THAT, plus crap. Awkward. So we made it through check in and are now waiting to board our flight to Mexico City, then to Cancun. So in the hope that we don’t get a cavity search thrown into the mix, our next update will come to you via Cancun, complete with fluffy robes and infinity pools.
A day of laze and travel.
Adios for now,
Say hi to your Papi for us,
Kate& Ela xoxoxo
Day 12 – continued...
We finally touched down in Meh-ico to a stinking hot Monterrey. We were expecting a nice quiet sleeping plane ride (seeing as we were the only ones who could speak English....at least that’s what we thought!) – however the lad in front of us was from Utah (a moreman!) and was quick to start up a conversation....which didn’t stop for the whole 3 effing hours. FML!
Mexico Customs is well...haha....basic to say the least! Ela put her bags through the x-ray machine...picked up her bags and headed straight for the exit doors. To both of our surprises, two armed men pointed their guns and yelled “ALTO! ALTO!” (Stop!) We were greeted at the airport by the lovely Michael (Kate’s eldest brother) and his fiancée Paulina. We were swiftly put in our town-car (a bit like celebrities really!) and then off we went.
We arrived late so after a quick chat, we went to catch some well earned zzzz’s.
Day 13:
We slept in till 11am...ahhh...bliss! Then Michael called us a taxi and we went to a couple of malls. So....kinda interesting to see how EVERYONE stares at us whities. Totti was a white tiger amongst all the orange ones! We are like an endangered species.
Shopping = FAIL! We didn’t buy one single item. Sigh.
We had a quick skype session with Ma and Papa Walker which was lovely Then....it was off to Nueva Luna (New Moon – restaurant/bar/nightclub/everything!). We had traditional tacos for dinner – 2 types of cow, chicken and sausage (simular to cabanossi). It came out on a giant hot plate, Deliciousness. Ela and I ordered 2 margaritas (expecting the standard measure)....oh hell no. When they came out they were literally a fish bowl with legs! And potent at that! So we proceeded to drink them...then a little sick...then some dancing. The Mexicans were intrigued with our dance moves (or lack of). One Mexican chica approached us and praised our dance moves and then proceeded to try and rape Ela! LOL.
Day 14:
Another sleep in. Michael took us to St Lucia – the heart of Monterrey which has a man made river through it which tourist boats travel up and down. The river has stores and restaurants along the bank. We walked for about 20 mins and then stopped at one of the stores and bought a watermelon popsicle. Yum. We caught the boat ride back...again “non intiendes espanol”. “Si”.
After a short siesta, we were taxied off to Paulina’s house for the much anticipated Bachelorette partay. Ah...how can we describe this. Picture 40 mexican lasses who don’t speak any English and then picture Ela and I entering the room and then the silence. Lucky for us, Paulina speaks both English and Spanish. However, Totti did dabble in the Spanish! The first language barrier was hit when Paulina was explaining to the group about our trip...to indicate ‘around the world’, Totti stuck her index finger in the air and twirled it in a circle motion. HA! FAIL. Apparently in Mexico, that movement means that you sleep around. That would explain the hysteric laughter. The second incident came at dinner. Totti queried whether the ‘salsa’ was JALEPENO. Well...that was the running joke for the rest of the night. We still don’t understand why!
The party begun with speeches. The tradition in Mexico is for a book to be made for the bride to be by her friends. There were lots of tears and although we didn’t fully understand what they were saying, we could tell everyone was very moved. It was very sweet.
The hightlight of the night was the Mexican dragqueens! OH MY GOD. There are no words...just check out the pictures. The dragqueens danced and sang and also told jokes. The jokes were in Spanish, however they did ALOT of actions (gyrating mainly!) to go with the jokes...it was clear to us, although we didn’t get the punch line, we could tell they were very dirty. At one point, the queen pulled out a dirty pad. BARF!
Paulina’s family were very sweet – despite the language barrier – we could tell that we were very welcome and they were happy to meet us! A very fun and interesting night
Day 15:
Clearly a communication error between Totti and her brother – she set the alarm for 8:30am and so we got up. Michael and Paulina slept in till 11. Fail.
Once we were all up, Paulina and Michael took us to San Tiago – about 30minutes out of Monterrey. We went to Collo del Caballo (the horses neck) - a national heritage park with a protected waterfall. We got a taste of a more traditional Mexican atmosphere – with lots of little stalls up the mountain selling lots of leather bound goods, lots of colourful cloths, maracas, food, Tequila :p
We made our way steadily up the mountain – covered in a canopy of tropical trees. The path was flanked by traditional stone grills where people were lighting them and having bbq’s which filled the air with deliciousness. And finally we made it to the base of the waterfall – it was massive. Once at the top you can see the trail it has carved into the mountain, and where the water flows all the way down to the bottom. It was pretty spectacular.
On the way back down we got caught in the tropical thunderstorm – it literally bucketed down rain!!! We found shelter in one of the little stalls and waited with a small cluster of other saturated mountaineers for the storm to pass. Some just opted to keep walking as they were already wet enough. Overall a great hike
On the way back – we did a drive through Carl Jnr (a burger store) in a Mexican cab. Nice. We got these gigantic delicious burgers with sliced and fried potatoes. Complementary jalapeno peppers included – as a challenge Ela ate one of the small tubs. Hello toilet – sucks to be you!
Totti and I then decided to showcase our amazing futbol talents – we went and joined in with some small Mexican kids in the street, who were very happy to have us. Again the sign language was used to indicate our desire to play. Lucky it was pretty basic – one point to ourselves, then another at the ball. Enough said. Game on it was a highlight for both of us – a great afternoon. Needless to say we dominated the little amigos!
We went down to St Lucia for dinner by the river. It was about 11:30pm by the time we got down there. So....Ela and I got the English menus – ah HOORAY! However, we still managed to fail at our order. You see, although the menu was in English, the ingredients were not so easy to understand. We decided we wanted an entree, so we pointed to the one that said “Cheese” – a word we know. The waiter bought out our entree – it looked like giant crackers with a little bit of cheese and a thick blot of vegemite....that, plus crap! We asked Paulina to ask the waiter “What the heck did we order”. After conversing with the waiter, Paulina turns to us and cracks up laughing and says “eewwwwwwww”. She proceeds to inform us that the black stuff is the root of corn mushed up with corn and fungi....that, plus crap! So we both agreed that since we ordered it, we must try it. Vom. It tasted like gooey, chunky mud...that, plus crap. It was awful. Totti’s teeth were pitch black – see photos. We scraped off the rest of the gunk and just at the crackers and cheese. Entree fail.
We got home at about 1am – after a quick skype with Ma and Papa Walker, we said our final goodbye to Paulina and went to bed.
Day 16:
We got up reasonably early and packed our bags. Michael had a class (he teaches English to the Mexicans) in the morning so we just waited until he returned. This afternoon we head off to the airport to catch our flight to Cancun via Mexico City.
Sooooo. When checking in baggage, we were shocked to find that their definition of scanning bags was erm....manual. Totti got her undies searched, much to her embarrassment – perhaps they were looking for something suspicious in her undies.....THAT, plus crap. Awkward. So we made it through check in and are now waiting to board our flight to Mexico City, then to Cancun. So in the hope that we don’t get a cavity search thrown into the mix, our next update will come to you via Cancun, complete with fluffy robes and infinity pools.
A day of laze and travel.
Adios for now,
Say hi to your Papi for us,
Kate& Ela xoxoxo
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
