Day 86:
We arrived in Florence late last night – FML, Hotel Feretti, you have been good to us, but ffs, invest in an elevator. We dragged ourselves, our luggage and an extra suitcase up three flights of stairs – I feel we have earned every gelato and pizza we have consumed since then. Europe = elevator fail. We got to our room and literally passed right out.
Today we strolled around the city, walked along the river, across the Ponte Vecchio and through all the leather markets – so much cool stuff. Funny how I chose to buy two t-shirts with Fiat 500’s on them, typical. Bloody idiot. Totti how ever bought a nice new leather wallet equal to the value of my new t-shirts. Shopping fail Ela, shopping fail.
We had a really good day winding in and out of the narrow streets, taking photos and eating anything and everything – so much goodness, so little time!!!
We then came back to our hotel room and took advantage of the free wifi – getting reconnected with the world and all that. But we actually did something productive, we planned our next couple of days here, and got some blog writing done for you all to enjoy, aren’t we lovely, thinking of you all, while we are so far away!
We were interrupted by a loud and angry grumbling noise. No, not tottis bum *praises lord* - but our tummies. So it was time to head back out into reality and find some food. Soooo. We were a little early for dinner and had to wait in the piazza for the restaurant to start serving food, so we opted to listen to a busker and people watch which we waited for dinner. It wasn’t all bad – actually it was rather entertaining. Naturally there were pigeons everywhere and we contented ourselves with letting the little kids terrorise them all. Even funnier was when a little boy literally trampled a pigeon and a huge tuft of feathers exploded into the air. His face was HILARIOUS – we absolutely wet our pants laughing, Totti actually did the knee slap, I just rolled around on the ground. Little boy, 1 – Pigeon, 0. And then it just kept getting better – we have come across many interesting characters on our travels but we feel that this lady has been one of the most interesting. Clearly on crack (or some similar mind altering substance, or she was probably just crazy, anyway!) in drifts homeless/toothless/no underwear woman. She performed some interpretive dance, yelled at innocent bystanders and decided that rolling around on the grass so everyone could see up her dress would be a fabulous idea. Her bum was pointing in our direction. Enough said. We were discussing what we’d do if she came and sat next to us; Totti said she would piss bolt in the opposite direction...far.....FAR away! Entertaining. We felt we had overstayed our welcome (really we were just hungry) so we got up to leave. We had to walk past the homeless crack lady to get to our restaurant – we were hoping to escape without having to interact with her at all, but, because strange crap always happens to me, she turned around, adopted a porn star pose, pouted her lips at me and said with a wink and a kiss “Ciao Bella”. VOMIT. Totti lost her shit and thought it was the funniest thing she’s ever heard/seen. Me.....not so much. I felt dirty. I wanted to shower. Visions of toothless women with no undies invaded my dreams that night.
Day 87:
Because we are very productive individuals – our little internet session we mentioned yesterday was used to book a VESPA RIDE THROUGH TUSCANY. Yeah, you heard. So we were very excited at the prospect of hooning around the country side and seeing some cool stuff, and getting a three course meal cooked for us at the Corcini family winery .
At 9am we were taken to the scooter hire place and geared up for our little Tuscan adventure. We took in the rolling countryside and made frequent stops to take some cool photos. Our guide Andrea gave us a rundown of the Chianti region (famous wine comes from here, which we got to sample at the winery) we got to see Machiavelli’s house (for those of you who don’t know who he is, he is most famous for writing “The Prince”) and really just soaked in the atmosphere. If you ever come to Tuscany, do the vespa tour. It is an awesome day and you get to see so much. Next stop – we were taken to a local deli to try some schicciata (schiacciata just means squashed. It’s a type of flat bread) filled with creamy pecorino cheese. We also got to try some home made biscotti – so so delicious!! But of course that wasn’t enough – Totti was keen to try some of the local salami, so we politely asked our tour guide if he could order some for us. We got lucky – he came out with an entire plate full of salami deliciousness, free of charge. YEEE-YUUUHHH!!! From there we rode some more and stopped a couple of times to take some more photos, before coming to our next stop : the winery. It has a whole lot of awesome history and basically is worth a shit load of money, details, details – bring on the food and wine!!! We were given a guided tour of this stunning Tuscan Villa (just the grounds, not the actual house) – the grounds were spectacular, the property was massive. They produce wine and olive oil there. We were taken down into the cellars and shown how the wine is made and stored, as well as how they make the olive oil. Very impressive!
LUNCH TIME!!!!!! Entree: Bruschetta with some of the winery made olive oil, as well as some toasted bread with the chick pea and rosemary patte, and eggplant,Pecorino and garlic patte. YUMO!!!! And we got to sample two of the three wines produced at the winery. Lucky it’s so expensive or we really would become alcoholics!
Next on the menu – Pansanella: it’s a very rustic dish, cucumber, fresh tomatoes, onion and broken bits of Italian bread tossed in olive oil, salt and pepper. Deliciousness. Main course: Farfalline (butterfly pasta) in a simple basil and tomato sauce – ho muh gawwd. Drool. Best feed ever!
Sadly it was time to say goodbye to this amazing property and make our way through the back roads of Tuscany to our next destination. Gelateria. Yes, we ate a lot. It seems to be the thing to do here :p Needless to say it was a great finish to an awesome day. We rode back to the campsite feeling that it was all very well worth it.
We came back to the hotel and rested for a little bit. We aren’t even going to bother telling you what we did next, we’re sure you can guess. Suffice to say that we went to dinner. And more gelato. That is all.
Day 88:
We eased into the morning and did some housekeeping – this mostly included having lengthy showers and skyping our families. The plan today: Siena. We caught the train to the beautiful little city – didn’t make it very far, as usual, nature called and so we had to stop for some lunch before we dominated the town. We ended up in a very rustic and homey feeling restaurant and decided to try some of the local pasta with a classic sauce. I think it was one of the best plates of pasta we had in Italy. Respect. With a full tummy to keep us going, we made our way into the narrow streets and enjoyed strolling around. It was rather busy because the town was getting ready to host the annual Palio di Siena (the famous horse race that featured in the Bond film) – so there were colourful flags a plenty, they were getting the stands ready in the main piazza and setting up the horse track. It’s a shame we miss out on it – definitely a must see event on the to do list.
We liked looking into all the little shop windows – especially this one place where we just had to go inside. Did we mention that totti has fallen in love with Salami. We have eaten it almost every day; it is rather delicious after all. So yes, we HAD to go into this one place – there were salamis hanging from the roof, stacked in fridges, on the walls. It even said “strictly no photography” on a sign at the door, so naturally we had to go inside and sneak a photo. It was pretty impressive, literally Salami heaven! There isn’t much more to say except that Siena is such a beautiful city – one of our favourites, definitely.
Sadly we said goodbye and made our way back to Florence, where we began locking in the remaining month and a half of our travels. Soooooo, we are poor. Donations please. Feeling sorry for ourselves over the amount of money this was going to cost us, we decided that we’d try something new and book into a camp site for our next little adventure to the Cinque Terre. We have opted to use bus about to get us from country to country – definitely the most inexpensive way to travel, and we figured it would be a good chance to make some new friends too. So feeling a little more enthusiastic about the coming month and what was to come, we decided to make our way to dinner and enjoy one last night in Florence.
DAY 89:
It was once again time to pack all our gear and drag it down the four flights of steps in the direction of Santa Maria Novella train station. Our next destination awaited us – the very impressive Cinque Terre. We literally bulldozed our way through the droves of people and finally made it onto the train; at first we were stuck in the compartment between carriages, with all our luggage in a huge pile and only a dodgy pull out wall seat to perch on. It was friggan schmelting – apparently the OH&S people don’t think it’s worth installing air con in these parts of the train. So as soon as we got the chance, we just left our luggage in this little in-between compartment and sprinted to the first available seat. Ahhhhhh – air con!
As we got closer and closer into the Cinque Terre region, the views started to get more beautiful. We caught glimpses of the cliff top villages between the tunnels on the train and started to get excited about finally getting a chance to explore them all. We finally arrived at our little town: Devia Marina. It’s at the top of the region – a little out of the way, but it’s where our campsite was, so we trudged to the bus stop to catch the shuttle service to the camp site. As per usual there were a whole bunch of fellow Aussies coming to stay at the same place, it seemed we had once again made some new friends :) P.S they saved our luggage from spilling out onto the rail way because we were too busy worrying about getting good seats (typical), so we decided we’d better be nice :p
We arrived at our campsite, named La Sfinge. We quickly re named it “The Stinge”. Wow. Dingy. When we asked for our cabin key at reception, the lady looked at us with a blank look on her face and replied “You won’t need one”. Totti and I just looked at each other and cringed at the thought of what our sleeping quarters were going to look like. So we dragged our packs, and our extra heavy suit case full of souvies up the stairs.....up more stairs....through some bush.....along some gravel paths....and finally reached tent number 3. Two beds in an empty tent. That is all. We dumped our luggage and it took up all the little floor space there was. It smelt dank and dewy and there were ants all over the floor. Terrorists! So we promptly adopted the foetal position and seriously considered throwing ourselves off the next available cliff top. Lol.
We spent the rest of the afternoon exploring the rest of The Stinge. We quickly located the market (salami, cheese and fruit – YUP!) and asked the reception the most vital of all questions “do you have wifi?” (sad, we know). They had earned back a little shred of our respect, clearly any place with a wifi service is a reputable institution. Except that the wifi didn’t reach the tents. FFS. So we gave up on that for the day and decided to trek to the next camp site (of course The Stinge did NOT have it’s own restaurant) so we decided to take ourselves, our new aussie friends and our severely empty tummies to the next camp site, which had better trees, a pool, and the restaurant. Crapped all over The stupid Stinge.
We opted for the cheapo 5euro bowl of pasta for dinner and retired to bed soon after – we had a big day ahead of us.
Lesson: If one wished to come to the Cinque Terre in peak season (July/August) seriously consider booking accommodation WELL in advance. The regions are so small that space is very limited and the prices sky rocket around this time. You do not want to end up at The Stinge. That is all.
DAY 90: vespa ride of cinqueterre. FML. Dinner.....then dinner again......
The Cinque Terre is 5 small towns on the cliffs edge – it’s famous for the Cinque Terre walk – a hike between the 5 towns which is about 30km....so....because we have developed a new level of laziness we decided that the walk seemed way too hard and that we should do it the Italian way and hire a vespa. We got up reasonably early and strolled down to pick up our little Italian stallion....soon to be renamed “Piece of shit scooter”. We were pretty excited about our days adventures...well we started excited!
First stop was a little town called Piazza...we kept driving....more driving....some more. OK seriously, where the fuck are the towns?! We came across Levanto – we had seen this one on our train ride yesterday. Our souls died a little when I looked at the map and told Ela “Ah, dude, this isn’t even one of the Cinque Terres”. FML. No better way to ease the pain than to eat, so we purchased some salami, bread, sundried tomatoes, cheese and oranges and headed to the beach for our breakfast/brunch/lunch snack! Yummo... It was a pretty town nevertheless – the church was striped like a zebra, there was also a cool castle. We took some photographic evidence.
So with our bums starting to regain feeling we decided to hop back on the shitty scooter and make our way to the Terra’s. Now, the scooter would have been fine had we been driving on normal straight Australian roads...oh hell no....we were trekking up and down mountains of simular style to the Clyde Mt – FFS. It was actually hell. Oncoming traffic, crazy motorcyclists, being overtaken....by cyclists, crying a little, falling off...tears...more tears! No but seriously, the hair pin turns that we encountered are probably banned back in Australia – this was extreme Vespering.
We finally made it to the first town – Monterosso. It was a cute little town with a beach. We contemplated going for a swim until we realised we didn’t have a towel, so we concluded that ice cream was a much safer option. We explored the streets and took some awesome photos before heading to the next town – Vernazza. Similar to Monterosso – this little town is surrounded by grapevines on cliffs with great views of the water. The towns are quite similar in terms of architecture – yellow, red and orange pastel apartments on cliffs, small streets, big hills... very pretty scenery.
We bypassed Corniglia – well we waved to it on our shitty scooter but decided if we had any chance on conquering these 5 terres, one had to miss out! On the way to Monorola – now known as Motorola we had to head up the hill from Vernazza. As we were approaching our 500th hair pin turn for the day, the scooter decided it was over being driven and toppled over – leaving us running and embarrassed on the road as other tourists drove past us and laughed. Hmm...so we continued. On the way down to Motorola, the shitty scooter decided that it didn’t want to brake anymore. The front brakes just stopped working so we went flying down the hill, brakeless, trying to manoeuvre around the corners...there were screams – don’t judge us, we were scared!
Last stop: Motorola. Yes, we know, we didn’t conquer all the terres, but it was getting late and we were hungry. Motorola was by far our favourite little terra. It had a lot more character, awesome little food shops with gelato, biscotti etc and there were cute little grandma and grandpa’s on almost every balcony watching the world go by. We demolished some vegetarian pasta and grilled calamari – belissimo! We treated ourselves to some gelato as we knew the ride home was going to be torture.
After what seemed like for ever, Ela had blistered hands from driving all day, coupled with frost bite and bugs hitting us at high speeds, we were more than elated when we saw the sign for the Stinge (2km to go!!!) one problem; on comes the fuel light. FFS nothing could go right that day. We did make it back to camp safe and sound, and we gave the scooter a swift kick in the wheels and bade it good night. With numb backsides, hungry bellies and cold noses, we trudged stiff backed to our tents and whinged about how cold, hungry and in pain we were. Wah. Sooky la la. Anyway – we got over it pretty quickly as we always do with the prospect of food on the horizon, so we made our way to dinner with the rest of the aussie crew.
DAY 91:
Today was just going to be one of those days. I left Totti to sleep in, as the Vespa had to be returned to the shop by 8.30am. With the hope in mind that I would be back at camp in no time, I made my way down to the parked scooter and hopped on.......splutter......cough.....wheeze. Maybe it’s just cold. Try again. Cough.....gutter....splutter....wheeze......Third time lucky? No joy. PUSHED STUPID VESPA ALL THE EFFING WAY TO THE SERVO, THEN BACK TO THE SHOP BECAUSE IT STILL WOULDNT START, EVEN ON A FULL TANK. So. Much. Hate. I was fuming at the thought of Totti snoring away, none the wiser to my little calamity. I made a point of walking very slowly and casually back to camp.
I’m glad Totti laughed when I broke the news of my little adventure. In hindsight, the thought of my trudging 4 k’s down the road pushing a motor vehicle while wearing a Vespa helmet is pretty funny. Sweating my face off looking like I would poke your eyes out if you so much as tried to speak to me because I was so pissed off at my current luck, or lack thereof.
I soon got over it and we got ready to catch the train to Portfino – a little town north of the La Spezia/Cinque Terre region. A quick train ride to Saint Margherita, we then jumped on a jam packed bus full of annoying Italians. FML. Sweaty, stinky, loud people = frustration. But we finally got to Portfino and were released from the bus. Portfino is a town which has a port (go figure!). It’s similar society status to Monaco in France – massive boats, expensive shops and rich people everywhere. We decided we needed to eat – so we got some bread, cheese and salami (4 euro for everything – I thank you!) and sat by the port and munged on our food. Even the rich people had food envy of us – we know where it’s at when it comes to food. We took some photos and strolled around the town before deciding it was time for some biscotti – yummo. We caught the bus, then the train back to The Stinge. A short lived adventure but at least we can say we went and saw it. Woo.
It seemed that while we were away, a mutant wasp had decided to take refuge in out tent. WHHYYYY-YUUUUHHHH!!! FML. Totti took off and waited about ten metres away from the tent while I hurled her thongs.....my thongs.....my converse.....her converse, at this fist size Godzilla wasp. After about 20 minutes of me dashing in and out of the tent retrieving all our shoes and trying again to hit the wasp, it FINALLY drifted out of our tent and out into the wilderness where it belonged. We joked that it was going to get it’s posse of killer was mates and return with a full squadron ready to sting our faces off.
It was now time to relax, do some washing and bum around. We went into town with the others and enjoyed another plate of deliciousness, followed by a gelato. Once back at camp we played a couple of rounds of cards before retiring to our tent for the night. It was cloudy and overcast, and looked like it might possibly rain.
Oh, and rain it did. Mother nature had a fit of rage that night. Bucket loads upon bucket loads of rain, definitely gave “raining cats and dogs” an entirely new meaning. Because our campsite was perched on top of a mountain we were privy to the cracks of thunder that literally vibrated our tent because they were so loud, and the lightning strikes came more and more frequently as the rain poured on and on into the early hours of the morning. I think this lasted for about 4 hrs in total, our tent was frequently illuminated by the lightning and the camp lights flickered on and off. Black out! The storm would have been ok, had I not needed to wee for the entire duration of it. There was no way I was going to step outside into that storm. Knowing my luck, and judging on the previous events of the day, probability that I would have stacked it in the mud, or gotten struck by lightning were fairly high. So I decided to hold.
At around 5am or so the storm was in full swing and very loud. Totti emerged from her pile of blankets, hair on end, reeled off a turbo charged exclamation of how very impressive this storm was. Did she mention how big it was?! And how loud...and did I see that lightning!! And OH MY GOD, its PISSING DOWN RAIN!!! I did not get a chance to get a word in before she ran out of words to describe the storm, and literally hit the pillow and was silent once more. I had a giggle and made a mental note to recount this little early morning conversation later on.
Day 92:
Today we decided we’d back track it a little and make our way down to Pisa as we didn’t get a chance to see the leaning tower while we were in Florence. You really only do go to Pisa to see the leaning tower – besides that, there really is nothing to see. We laughed at the countless people all standing in a row, taking the exact same photograph: lets put our hands out and try and make it look like we are stopping the town from falling over. Because we are really cool, we decided to photo bomb the shit out of people, and imitate them taking their masterpiece photos. We got a really good shot of Totti photobombing some Asians. It’s classic. We shall put this one up on photobucket, watch that space.
So yes, the tower does really lean. You can do Pisa is literally 20 minutes. We stopped in Riomaggiore and did the famous ‘Lover’s walk’ to Monorola – it’s a path built into the cliff, roughly an 800 metre stroll between the two towns. Wicked views and lots of “I love you” messages written along the walk. They have also hung locks along the fences and carved their names into cactuses. Very cute. Once in Monorola we enjoyed our very last Italian dinner – Totti had spaghetti with Muscles and I just had a plate of veggo spaghetti.
Once back at the Stinge we just lounged around and wrote some blog. Italy has been fun – we are actually excited to be eating something other than Pizza and Pasta for a change. As lovely and delicious as it has been, after three weeks of this, our stomachs are ready to dominate some other delicacies that Europe has to offer.
So we say Ciao Bella to the boot shaped land and prepare to take on Spain next – Ole!
Arrivederci and say hi to your dad for us.
Baci,
Kate & Ela xxx
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
That’s Amore – Italia Part I.
Day 74:
Dearest Boggers and Floggers,
We have been thinking lately that our blog has lost some of its initial pizzazz....not as much siss boom bah as it once had. So we endeavour to rekindle some of that spark as we venture forth into the land of food and many things of the oldish kind. We hope that from now on our entries will have as much character as the boot shaped land. We will bring back the biff.
But before we do....we must tie up our little Greek odyssey.
TWO THINGS:
1: Totti has taken to air swinging in the direction of pigeons, just because she hates them. We can’t actually pin point where this hatred came from. We feel she could be suppressing a horrific childhood memory which entails her being mauled by pigeons at some point. Madray and Padray Totti – care to enlighten? So anyway, the air swinging - generally it’s enough to shoo them away. We joked about the day that she would finally connect with a pigeon, and the feeling of pure elation at FINALLY getting her revenge for all the times she has been publicly victimised by them. Wah. Feel sorry for her. It just so happened that this glorious day came upon us, casually strolling back to our hotel on our last day in Athens. Complaining about something as usual, Totti aimed a lazy kick in the direction of a terrorist.....But this time hit the jackpot. Her face was torn between feeling back, and shock – it was quite possibly almost two months worth of pent up frustration released in this one special moment, and I quote: “I felt bad....but then I was like, actually. Fuck you! Pay back’s a bitch”
2: We are now fugitives of Greece. Stupid metro and their non gates and no ticket booths! So there’s a bit story. We had discussed wether or not it was worth getting a taxi, as it would rape our wallets of 50 euro – we have taken to becoming tight arses, so we decided that the 1 euro metro option would be better, even if it did take longer, and meant dragging out luggage through the streets and sweating our faces off.
So we finally made it to the station with only a few minutes to spare and headed straight down for the train. We assumed that you could buy tickets down there, so we just strolled on through......no ticket booth......”let’s just hop on and hope for the best”.......make it through the train ride un-scathed.....spot some train police.....we try to look innocent and casual......fail. The first people they came to when the train stopped was us. FFS! We tried to pull the whole “we validated our ticket and threw it out” card. Not so much.
In the end they slapped us with a 60 euro fine EACH. The moral of the story – pay 50 euro for a taxi and don’t be such a tight arse! Needless to say, we are totally bad ass, fleeing the country without any intention what so ever of repaying this fine. We feel we spent our money’s worth on Gyros and drinks. Eff you, Greece!
And so we waved goodbye to Greece and had a little giggle as we flew towards our next point of domination – Italia. Touch down in Fiumicino was a welcome relief – once again we got stuck with a child who was in desperate need of an exorcism, we’d both developed twitches because the brat screamed for the entire duration of the flight. FML. Our freaking ears!
By this time we were well over eating Gyros (Sorry Matty, I know it’s sacrilege for you to read this but we needed some real mangiare! Lol), Totti had been craving Penne, which she so delicately pronounces “Pennay” in her most beautiful mock Italian accent. So I texted the order through to my aunt Nadia. When we arrived to the apartment she promptly dominated the kitchen and started cooking up a storm. Totti was practically salivating at the dinner table with knife and fork at the ready – the plate wasn’t full for long.
Well tired we were grateful at the prospect of having a real sleep in – with air con.....which turned our room into the north pole and by 3am we both located our hoodies because we were so cold...why not turn it off, we hear you ask? Well we couldn’t find the remote, and honestly, at 3am, CBF!
Day 75:
With a sleep in under our belts we rose to the warm Roma air and begun our domination – today’s stop, the Via Del Corso, for some retail therapy.
1hour....
2hour...
3hours...still nothing purchased. So, naturally we decided it was time for some pasta and headed to a local restaurant and proceeded to fill our faces with the goodness. We walked back to the metro station and caught the train back to Ela’s aunties.
That night we again fed our faces with delicious pasta and fried chicken breast. We literally ate ourselves into a food coma and passed out – little did Totti know that this was only the beginning of our food coma episode! Lol.
Day 76:
Another sleep in – we are getting good at these! We enjoyed a delicious breakfast of jam on toast together with some awesome pastries which Ela’s aunty purchased for us fresh every morning – thanks Nadia!
Today’s domination...St Peter’s square, the Vatican. We dressed ourselves in appropriate attire and made our way to the metro and headed for the Vatican.
Several photos later we were inside St Peter’s cathedral and Totti landed her eyes on the holy water – dear god, help us! She crossed herself with the sacred h20 and prayed for relief from bird attacks. Now we will see if there is a real god!
We spent a good while in the church – there is so much to see. We decided it would be interesting to go into the basement and see to catacombs. We were surprised to see the number of mourner’s still saying their prayers outside Pope John Paul’s tomb. A few crying old Italian ladies. Wah for them.
Next stop, the Sistine Chapel....pfffttt, eff that. Turns out Rome thinks it’s cool to charge people to enter a church, well we showed them. We turned away in disgust at the thought of paying to look at a church and decided our money was much better spent on some delicious Gelato and an Italia jersey. Eat that Sistine.
On the way back to St Peter’s, we were casually walking, every now and then throwing in a skip or two (for those of you who think we are strange, well we have developed a nice repertoire of walking styles for everyone’s viewing pleasure. We sing too) minding our own business when all of a sudden, BAM. I kid you not, a pigeon lands on Totti’s frickin head and spooks the shit out of us both. There were feathers everywhere, kicking, screaming. Totti makes a bolt for her life. WTF. “It must have been the holy water”, she says, with a fist shake thrown in for good measure. LOL. “Eff you pigeons, I will get my revenge!”
We decided that would complete our day being tourists in Rome and headed back to Ela’s aunties for another massive meal. Oh my. Eating our way to domination and rolling our way back down under. Totti says it’s like Christmas Day, EVERY day.
Day77:
No sleep in today – our alarms were set for 5am because we had to be on the first metro at 5:40am – destination: Camping Roma to meet our Bus-About group. FML.
We were happy to see that everyone else had mass amounts of luggage...not us. Uh-Uh! We set ourselves the challenge of packing only ONE overnight bag between the two of us. Eat shit, back pack, we hate you. We comfortably put all of our clothes into one tote bag for the next 3 days. We even only had 1 toiletry bag – it really was the bomb diggity! Lol.
We were on the bus by 8am and begun our trip down to Pompeii. It was actually the hottest day in history today (worse than our Berlin weather) so we sweated our faces off as we were guided around the Pompeii site. It was a really interesting tour complete with awesome action shots – we totally fucked shit up in Pompeii.
I just need to interrupt here for a second. Now, we all know that Italian’s are very open about the human form, in fact they often like to encourage freedom of phallic expression: Enter Winged Wangs. I don’t think I have seen such a look of awe and delight on Totti’s face since she kicked that Pigeon. With winged Penis’s a plenty for sale – yes she bought one. For shame. Actually it was pretty friggan funny. Apparently it’s a symbol of fertility. Sure sure, i reckon it’s just an excuse to rock out with your wang out. A thankyou! lol
After our 2hr tour we took refuge in the Pizzeria where we enjoyed a delicious traditional Pizza Napoletana and downed a nice cold Coke. Mmm....life is good!
We continued our journey to Sorrento where we were camping for the next two nights. We were feeling the heat by this stage so we retired to our little tent for a well earned siesta.
Well rested, we ventured into town and made a visit to the “Lemonchello” (Limonciello) factory. Ah so many flavours...we HAD to try them all. FML. I had to drag Ela kicking and screaming away from the factory – she was in wog-kid heaven. The Lemonchello killed any taste buds I ever had – feel the burn. We met up with the rest of our tour group and enjoyed a 4 course Italian feast. Belissimo.
Our tour guide took us to a cocktail bar where Mario and Luigi poured the cocktails long into the night – standard measures of alcohol do not exist in Europe, the term ‘free pour’ is the most delicate way to describe their methods, so they were rather potent concoctions and did not take long to sink in. We have a running joke now “Would you like some coke with your rum?”. We left Mario & Luigi in the wee hours and were walking to another club when Totti stole a soccer ball from some street kids. She bolted a few metres with it before guilt got the better of her and she decided to return it. Somehow simply HANDING the ball back totally escaped her thoughts, so she decided to BOOT the bloody thing back over the over our tour group to the kids, buuuuuut she missed kicked it and smacked our tour guide square in the face. EVERYONE lost their shit, literally tears of laugher as the whole street was bent double, clutching their stomachs. Totti’s face was priceless. Our tour guide, Ben, was a bit of a princess (if you get my drift)...he even has a Katy Perry dance. LOL. His words when he got hit “OMG. OMG. I’m going to have a black eye!”. LOL. So funny. We laughed all the way to the next club – while Ben cried! LOL.
We soon decided to part with the Sorrento nightlife and bus it back to our campsite – lucky we did too, within 5 minutes of us tucking ourselves in, it bucketed with rain. It was quite amusing hearing the footsteps of our fellow tour peeps rock into the campsite during the downpour. We giggled!
Zzzz....
Day 78:
Today we were off to explore the Isle of Capri – known for its lavish views, expensive shopping and gorgeous swimming lagoons...oh and the blue and green grottos!
We met with the rest of our tour group at the camp reception...then it rained. Not just a sprinkle, it pissed down. Boo. Well everyone apparently had spoken to God the night before and were warned about this downpour, we missed the memo. And..lucky for us the little homeless man in San Francisco stole our pretty pink umbrella so we were left to our own devices to seek shelter from the rain. Ela followed her intuition and decided the best shelter would come from a brochure of Sorrento which she stole from the reception counter – she had just washed her hair, literally 20minutes before the rain (she said it was a good hair day too!). Unfortunately the brochure soon disintegrated and she became a drowned rat with shit hair!
We finally made it to the water’s edge where we got picked up by a boat. Hangover + waves as big as Mt. Everest = VOMIT.
As we finally rocked our way into Capri (so much relief), we decided that Sofia Loren was a villa whore with too much money. That is all.
We caught the bus from Port Piccola up to Capri and strolled around looking at all the richies and the spectacular views. This place was way out of our league so we caught another bus along the “OH MY GOD” road to Ana Capri – literally a road built into the cliffs edge, no more than 1.5 metres wide. It was a very hair raising ride when bus met bus on the edge of the cliff. Eeekkkk! We could put a finger out the window and be in the bus next to us.
Once we got there we located this giant chairlift that went to the very top of Capri and decided it was time for an adventure. The chairlift was AMAZING – 360 degree view of Capri and surrounding islands, single chair, peace and quiet. We spent a good hour at the summit taking photos and admiring the views. We are developing quite a collection of spectacular action shots – look out Filia and Steph, we see you! Then after another peaceful ride back down the mountain, our stomachs decided it was time to have some lunch, naturally we selected to eat some “pennay” at a restaurant overlooking the beach, and enjoyed the serenity.
Well fed and falling into a serious case of 3:30-itis, we found a rock on the beach and basked in the sun while we waited for our boat to pick us up and take us back to camp. Too lazy to actually swim ourselves, we contented ourselves with living vicariously through the hundreds of enthusiastic bathers already enjoying the water. Yes, we have taken laziness to a new low.
On the way back to camp we took a detour around some more of the island and we came across a massive yacht named “Magic” – yes, Magic Johnson was hanging out on his MASSIVE yacht in Capri, claim to fame bitches. We also saw the houses that belong to Georgio Armani, Michael Douglas, The Chianti Wine owner and the Fiat owner. These guys seriously have money to burn. There were also numerous other villas that belonged to people with too much mula, but we tuned out, information overload. We also passed through the lover’s arch – it is part of these three huge cone shaped rocks the stick out of the sea, and the one in the middle has a natural arch in the bottom of it, supposedly if you kiss your lover at the moment you pass under the arch, you live happily ever after. How sweet. (Vom).
Seeing as it had been a jam packed day, we hiked it all the way back up the cliff side and passed out in our cabins............3 Hrs later.....missed dinner........it’s dark.....it’s cold.......we’re hungry......what time is it??? 9pm. Siesta fail. We trudged up to the camping ground restaurant looking like zombies. Hair was all tangled, eyes bloodshot and popping out of our heads, dazed looks on faces and minor drooling down the side of the face. Yes. It’s true.
So we were seated and a young, relatively attractive waiter came to take our order. So it began. “Oh, you have beautiful eyes” I just sat there and rolled my eyes, having heard this phrase about a million times. Totti just sits there and bats her eyelashes, relishing the compliment. “My name........is Francesco, what is your name?” “Kate”. Oh god, please kill me now. Did he mention that he was an engineer? “So. Kate – we go soma where a and drink a something?” (P.S everyone, he still had not acknowledged that I was even alive, or the fact that I may actually want my dinner some time soon). He then indicated me with a jab of his thumb over his shoulder and exclaimed “or you hava too-a staya with her-a all nighta?” My face was blank, I had no words. He finally left, our meal came, and we ate. Totti wanted a take away and asked me if I thought they would let us take our left over pizza away. I replied and told her that the waiter would probably give her what ever she liked. Sure enough, it went like this: “Can we please have this to take away?” “Ah....Kate... You—ah cana hava.....what ever you lika!” *insert sex eyes*. LOL. FML.
We paid a bill and headed back to our tent...Totti left Francesco with a “maybe” that she’ll come back and have a drink with him. We both passed out from an intense food coma...how unfortunate, poor Francesco!
Day 79:
We said goodbye to our luxurious twin share tarp tent with one door and one window and boarded the bus for the much anticipated Amalfi coast drive. The beginning of the drive was spectacular – words really can’t describe what this place looks like, you have to see it for yourself (or...look at our awesome photos when we get back!). They say that going to heaven would be just like another day in Amalfi – so effing true. We stopped at Positano for a stock up of fresh fruit..mmm...peaches! We took some photos and enjoyed the view. Interesting note: Along the coastline, residents with even number plates can only drive on every other day – like water restrictions back home. Also, buses are only allowed to drive south – one way.
We stopped in Amalfi for a good 3 hrs where we boarded a boat. The best way to see and capture Amalfi is definitely by sea and we got some great pictures. We saw some watch towers that were built a long time ago – they were old! Back on land, tummy again made a ruling that we must find Arancini – OMG. Totti had died and gone to heaven. Rice balls made in pasta sauce and fried in bread crumbs – seriously Italy...you are killing my 6-pack!
After our delicious feed, we wandered around the streets with one of our busabout buddies, Kristy. She had taken a liking to us on the first night at dinner, when totti amused her with her boganesque Ee-taliano. Oh. My. God. Apparently in Italy, there are such things as “Vine-Oh”, “Pennaayy” , “Fet-oo-chin-ay”, “Party Pasta (the pasta that they make out of three colours” “Leeemon-Chello” “Graz-ee”. I don’ think I have ever cringed to much in my whole entire life. Hilarious.
So anyway, Totti, Kristy and I wondered into a pasta shop and it began, ripping out all of the buzz words from dinner, the shop keeper was looking at us with pure horror on her face – seriously entertaining!
It was time to head back to the bus and make our way to our final destination – Ravello. We had been looking forward to going up there (yes, because we haven’t already eaten enough) because apparently there was meant to be this place that made the BEST sandwiches EVER. So after all the hype, we just had to see what all the fuss was about. Taking one for the team, again.
Oh. My. Lord. The sandwich was literally as big as our face. We have photographic evidence. It was AMAZING. Salami.....Provolone.....Prosciutto......More cheese.......More salami.....Sundried tomatoes......Eggplant...... Totti got dominated by her sandwich, and because I am a good little wog child, I kept eating, even though I was full to bursting. There was no way I was going to let the stray cats eyeing off my sandwich get anywhere near it. I’d rather pass out from eating too much. So it did live up to expectations, but we were so full we dragged ourselves back to the bus and sat in silence for the remainder of the trip back to Rome. Literally a food coma! Totti would like to point out “Notice how we don’t write anything about what Ravioli looks like?” WTF, she means Ravello. LOL.
We FINALLY made it back to my aunties house, grateful for a normal shower, a normal bed that wasn’t in a tent smelling of plastic. Now.....how can we possibly be hungry after everything we had eaten that day.....We’re full, seriously, we can just have a light dinner.....do you girls want pizza? Ok. Wow, really had to twist our arm on that one. My god. We actually suck!
We called it a night and decided to start packing for our trip to Sardegna the next morning.......well Totti packed, I had massive CBF and felt I had all my gear in order, so we turned in for the night, looking forward to the next four days, which would be spent on the beach, then feeding our faces off at my aunties beach house.
Day 80:
Well what can I say, it pays to be organised sometimes (thanks Dad for that gene). I had packed the night before – knowing quite well that we had ALOT of souvenirs that we had to be reunited with and somehow fit back into our luggage. Ela actually sucks. When we left Aus, Ela had her rack sack, her laptop bag and a hand bag....Ela now has – her rack sack, a tote bag, her laptop bag AND a hand bag. WTF. So we decided we should both get rid of our tote bags and buy one suitcase to fit all our souvys in...except coz Ela sucks only she managed to put all of her CRAP (souvys plus crap) into the suitcase. So...Ela carried, her rack sack, her suitcase, her laptop bag, her tote bag and her hand bag...while I laughed...hyseterically...there were tears. She was angry – I laughed some more. Crazy bag lady, I reckon she has some crazy cats in her bags too. Boo.
We packed up the car and bid farewell to Ostia and headed to the port. Some Pringles and h20 to ease the pain we boarded our ferry to Sardegna. 6hrs later...annoying Grandma speaking Italian....annoying kids pulling hair....annoying...annoying...we arrived. Lucky for us we parked the car first in line so we were the first to get off the boat – yippee! Sardegna is island famous for its beautiful beaches and chilled our atmosphere. Heaps of famous people choose Sardegna as a holiday destination as do majority of the Italian population!
We arrived at our beach house and Maurizio got straight on the job and fired up the BBQ. Ah...food...food...more food. We started with salami...then had some lamb....some more lamb...some salad...some vino...more lamb...starting to baa now....more lamb....Su Katie bevi, bevi, bevi!! Again, Italy had put us deep into a food coma. Zzzzzz....
Day 81:
We awakened to a plate of fresh pastries and fruit – we were very spoilt. After breaky, Maurizio picked us up and dropped us at the beach. The beach was filled with hundred of Italians getting their tans on – white sand and clear waters. Nadia (Ela’s aunty) couldn’t handle the sand for very long so she ditched and left us to even out our tans. 6hrs later and a very crispy bum we moseyed back to the house where we were fed until our belly buttons turned into outies. Tuna pasta with spicy tomato sauce...entree. Pork chops and salad for main course. I’m smelting in deliciousness!
There is always room for gelato, right? Yes. So we walked into the Piazza – through the night markets and swarms of people...to the gelato store, and beyond. Delicious. We people watched from a park bench for a little while and then headed back to get ready for our evening at the club.
A quiet night at a beachside bar where Ela’s cousin works. He kept the free drinks pouring as I attempted to sing along with the Italian singer. Fail. Ela ghosted some old couple doing the salsa with her Beyonce moves...Nadia got jiggy with it on the dance floor. I did the twist...for old times sake. Fun.
Zzz...
Day 82:
A bit of washing, a movie, more food, daytime siestas and more food. It was really nice and relaxing. We then went to the wholesale (bulk grocer) to help Maurizio and Nadia stock up on food for dinner. Meanwhile...while they did adult stuff, we explored the wholesaler and found a giant Nutella jar, giant Cheese slabs, body moisturizer with cheeky titles and tested many deodorants. Mature...we even got to drive the trolley!
So clearly an hour or two had passed and no food had been consumed, so we made our way back for dinner. Massive fresh fish over baked to pure deliciousness accompanied with roasted potatoes and salad. Oh dear lord...help me now! It was soooooooooo tasty. If only I could bring you all back a little nibble...sorry!
So relaxed and content, we finished with a exotic fruit which I can only describe as Marmalade fruit. It was the strangest thing – had bits of orange, lemon and grapefruit. Delicious....especially with chocolate!
Day 83:
We headed to a different beach today – soaked up some more sunshine, munched on some more fresh fruit. Ela had an interesting encounter with a saggy boob. She was casually wading in the water, admiring her surrounds whilst waving her arms from side to side when a old lady walked a little too close to her – Ela copped a hand full of sag. She ran screaming out of the water, much to my entertainment! Ha.
Now I know you’ve probably heard this before, but can you guess what we did next? Yes, we ate. Lol. Pasta cocktail – penne, bowties and spirals...pasta heaven! Usually we wouldn’t complain about eating a massive mountain of pasta, however we realised that 3hrs later we had to back up and do it again at dinner.
We enjoyed a nice family meal - the menu went something like this:
Appetizer: Salami, Sardegna bread, Olives, Cheese, Tuna peppers
Entree: Massive bowl of penne pomodoro and basilico
Main: Pitzaiola – veal soaked in tomato sauce and potatoes on the side
Dessert: Assortment of delicious Sardinian biscuits – from amaretti to meringues followed by more Vino, Limoncello and Rum & Coke.
Day 84:
Today Nadia took us to a little beach hideaway, she explained to us that this was the spot where Princess Dianna was the day before she died. It’s got very little actual beach, but is famous for this massive rock where people climb up and sunbake. We decided to bomb the crap out of it instead. We had a lot of fun climbing and exploring all the rock formations and trying to achieve the biggest splash with our dives.
We feel that the highlight of the day (besides the amazing view and crystal clear water) was when Maurizio arrived with a portable refrigerator full of lunch type goodness. So we spent the rest of the afternoon feeding our faces on prosciutto, bread and rockmelon. Needless to say that we couldn’t really swim afterwards, we just sunk. So we waded in the shallows and skimmed rocks for a while. Good times.
By the time 4pm rolled around we had to say goodbye to our little lagoon and make our way back to the house – we had a plane to catch :( On our way home we stopped to say goodbye to Valerio and Zio Elio, sad to have to leave them so soon.
It was then time for one last giant feed – another delicious BBQ followed by some gelato. We enjoyed our last meal with Maurizio and Nadia; a big shout out and a huge thank you for everything they did for us. We said goodbye to our basement home and loaded up the car with all our gear, and headed toward Olbia airport: Destination, Florence.
So far Italy has been good to us, and our stomachs, we look forward to more eating and more eating.....and more eating...... keep an eye out for Part 2 of domination Italy.
But it’s ciao for now as we make our way to Florence, Pisa, Siena and the Cinqueterre.
Say buongiorno to your Padre for us,
Kate & Ela
Xxx
Dearest Boggers and Floggers,
We have been thinking lately that our blog has lost some of its initial pizzazz....not as much siss boom bah as it once had. So we endeavour to rekindle some of that spark as we venture forth into the land of food and many things of the oldish kind. We hope that from now on our entries will have as much character as the boot shaped land. We will bring back the biff.
But before we do....we must tie up our little Greek odyssey.
TWO THINGS:
1: Totti has taken to air swinging in the direction of pigeons, just because she hates them. We can’t actually pin point where this hatred came from. We feel she could be suppressing a horrific childhood memory which entails her being mauled by pigeons at some point. Madray and Padray Totti – care to enlighten? So anyway, the air swinging - generally it’s enough to shoo them away. We joked about the day that she would finally connect with a pigeon, and the feeling of pure elation at FINALLY getting her revenge for all the times she has been publicly victimised by them. Wah. Feel sorry for her. It just so happened that this glorious day came upon us, casually strolling back to our hotel on our last day in Athens. Complaining about something as usual, Totti aimed a lazy kick in the direction of a terrorist.....But this time hit the jackpot. Her face was torn between feeling back, and shock – it was quite possibly almost two months worth of pent up frustration released in this one special moment, and I quote: “I felt bad....but then I was like, actually. Fuck you! Pay back’s a bitch”
2: We are now fugitives of Greece. Stupid metro and their non gates and no ticket booths! So there’s a bit story. We had discussed wether or not it was worth getting a taxi, as it would rape our wallets of 50 euro – we have taken to becoming tight arses, so we decided that the 1 euro metro option would be better, even if it did take longer, and meant dragging out luggage through the streets and sweating our faces off.
So we finally made it to the station with only a few minutes to spare and headed straight down for the train. We assumed that you could buy tickets down there, so we just strolled on through......no ticket booth......”let’s just hop on and hope for the best”.......make it through the train ride un-scathed.....spot some train police.....we try to look innocent and casual......fail. The first people they came to when the train stopped was us. FFS! We tried to pull the whole “we validated our ticket and threw it out” card. Not so much.
In the end they slapped us with a 60 euro fine EACH. The moral of the story – pay 50 euro for a taxi and don’t be such a tight arse! Needless to say, we are totally bad ass, fleeing the country without any intention what so ever of repaying this fine. We feel we spent our money’s worth on Gyros and drinks. Eff you, Greece!
And so we waved goodbye to Greece and had a little giggle as we flew towards our next point of domination – Italia. Touch down in Fiumicino was a welcome relief – once again we got stuck with a child who was in desperate need of an exorcism, we’d both developed twitches because the brat screamed for the entire duration of the flight. FML. Our freaking ears!
By this time we were well over eating Gyros (Sorry Matty, I know it’s sacrilege for you to read this but we needed some real mangiare! Lol), Totti had been craving Penne, which she so delicately pronounces “Pennay” in her most beautiful mock Italian accent. So I texted the order through to my aunt Nadia. When we arrived to the apartment she promptly dominated the kitchen and started cooking up a storm. Totti was practically salivating at the dinner table with knife and fork at the ready – the plate wasn’t full for long.
Well tired we were grateful at the prospect of having a real sleep in – with air con.....which turned our room into the north pole and by 3am we both located our hoodies because we were so cold...why not turn it off, we hear you ask? Well we couldn’t find the remote, and honestly, at 3am, CBF!
Day 75:
With a sleep in under our belts we rose to the warm Roma air and begun our domination – today’s stop, the Via Del Corso, for some retail therapy.
1hour....
2hour...
3hours...still nothing purchased. So, naturally we decided it was time for some pasta and headed to a local restaurant and proceeded to fill our faces with the goodness. We walked back to the metro station and caught the train back to Ela’s aunties.
That night we again fed our faces with delicious pasta and fried chicken breast. We literally ate ourselves into a food coma and passed out – little did Totti know that this was only the beginning of our food coma episode! Lol.
Day 76:
Another sleep in – we are getting good at these! We enjoyed a delicious breakfast of jam on toast together with some awesome pastries which Ela’s aunty purchased for us fresh every morning – thanks Nadia!
Today’s domination...St Peter’s square, the Vatican. We dressed ourselves in appropriate attire and made our way to the metro and headed for the Vatican.
Several photos later we were inside St Peter’s cathedral and Totti landed her eyes on the holy water – dear god, help us! She crossed herself with the sacred h20 and prayed for relief from bird attacks. Now we will see if there is a real god!
We spent a good while in the church – there is so much to see. We decided it would be interesting to go into the basement and see to catacombs. We were surprised to see the number of mourner’s still saying their prayers outside Pope John Paul’s tomb. A few crying old Italian ladies. Wah for them.
Next stop, the Sistine Chapel....pfffttt, eff that. Turns out Rome thinks it’s cool to charge people to enter a church, well we showed them. We turned away in disgust at the thought of paying to look at a church and decided our money was much better spent on some delicious Gelato and an Italia jersey. Eat that Sistine.
On the way back to St Peter’s, we were casually walking, every now and then throwing in a skip or two (for those of you who think we are strange, well we have developed a nice repertoire of walking styles for everyone’s viewing pleasure. We sing too) minding our own business when all of a sudden, BAM. I kid you not, a pigeon lands on Totti’s frickin head and spooks the shit out of us both. There were feathers everywhere, kicking, screaming. Totti makes a bolt for her life. WTF. “It must have been the holy water”, she says, with a fist shake thrown in for good measure. LOL. “Eff you pigeons, I will get my revenge!”
We decided that would complete our day being tourists in Rome and headed back to Ela’s aunties for another massive meal. Oh my. Eating our way to domination and rolling our way back down under. Totti says it’s like Christmas Day, EVERY day.
Day77:
No sleep in today – our alarms were set for 5am because we had to be on the first metro at 5:40am – destination: Camping Roma to meet our Bus-About group. FML.
We were happy to see that everyone else had mass amounts of luggage...not us. Uh-Uh! We set ourselves the challenge of packing only ONE overnight bag between the two of us. Eat shit, back pack, we hate you. We comfortably put all of our clothes into one tote bag for the next 3 days. We even only had 1 toiletry bag – it really was the bomb diggity! Lol.
We were on the bus by 8am and begun our trip down to Pompeii. It was actually the hottest day in history today (worse than our Berlin weather) so we sweated our faces off as we were guided around the Pompeii site. It was a really interesting tour complete with awesome action shots – we totally fucked shit up in Pompeii.
I just need to interrupt here for a second. Now, we all know that Italian’s are very open about the human form, in fact they often like to encourage freedom of phallic expression: Enter Winged Wangs. I don’t think I have seen such a look of awe and delight on Totti’s face since she kicked that Pigeon. With winged Penis’s a plenty for sale – yes she bought one. For shame. Actually it was pretty friggan funny. Apparently it’s a symbol of fertility. Sure sure, i reckon it’s just an excuse to rock out with your wang out. A thankyou! lol
After our 2hr tour we took refuge in the Pizzeria where we enjoyed a delicious traditional Pizza Napoletana and downed a nice cold Coke. Mmm....life is good!
We continued our journey to Sorrento where we were camping for the next two nights. We were feeling the heat by this stage so we retired to our little tent for a well earned siesta.
Well rested, we ventured into town and made a visit to the “Lemonchello” (Limonciello) factory. Ah so many flavours...we HAD to try them all. FML. I had to drag Ela kicking and screaming away from the factory – she was in wog-kid heaven. The Lemonchello killed any taste buds I ever had – feel the burn. We met up with the rest of our tour group and enjoyed a 4 course Italian feast. Belissimo.
Our tour guide took us to a cocktail bar where Mario and Luigi poured the cocktails long into the night – standard measures of alcohol do not exist in Europe, the term ‘free pour’ is the most delicate way to describe their methods, so they were rather potent concoctions and did not take long to sink in. We have a running joke now “Would you like some coke with your rum?”. We left Mario & Luigi in the wee hours and were walking to another club when Totti stole a soccer ball from some street kids. She bolted a few metres with it before guilt got the better of her and she decided to return it. Somehow simply HANDING the ball back totally escaped her thoughts, so she decided to BOOT the bloody thing back over the over our tour group to the kids, buuuuuut she missed kicked it and smacked our tour guide square in the face. EVERYONE lost their shit, literally tears of laugher as the whole street was bent double, clutching their stomachs. Totti’s face was priceless. Our tour guide, Ben, was a bit of a princess (if you get my drift)...he even has a Katy Perry dance. LOL. His words when he got hit “OMG. OMG. I’m going to have a black eye!”. LOL. So funny. We laughed all the way to the next club – while Ben cried! LOL.
We soon decided to part with the Sorrento nightlife and bus it back to our campsite – lucky we did too, within 5 minutes of us tucking ourselves in, it bucketed with rain. It was quite amusing hearing the footsteps of our fellow tour peeps rock into the campsite during the downpour. We giggled!
Zzzz....
Day 78:
Today we were off to explore the Isle of Capri – known for its lavish views, expensive shopping and gorgeous swimming lagoons...oh and the blue and green grottos!
We met with the rest of our tour group at the camp reception...then it rained. Not just a sprinkle, it pissed down. Boo. Well everyone apparently had spoken to God the night before and were warned about this downpour, we missed the memo. And..lucky for us the little homeless man in San Francisco stole our pretty pink umbrella so we were left to our own devices to seek shelter from the rain. Ela followed her intuition and decided the best shelter would come from a brochure of Sorrento which she stole from the reception counter – she had just washed her hair, literally 20minutes before the rain (she said it was a good hair day too!). Unfortunately the brochure soon disintegrated and she became a drowned rat with shit hair!
We finally made it to the water’s edge where we got picked up by a boat. Hangover + waves as big as Mt. Everest = VOMIT.
As we finally rocked our way into Capri (so much relief), we decided that Sofia Loren was a villa whore with too much money. That is all.
We caught the bus from Port Piccola up to Capri and strolled around looking at all the richies and the spectacular views. This place was way out of our league so we caught another bus along the “OH MY GOD” road to Ana Capri – literally a road built into the cliffs edge, no more than 1.5 metres wide. It was a very hair raising ride when bus met bus on the edge of the cliff. Eeekkkk! We could put a finger out the window and be in the bus next to us.
Once we got there we located this giant chairlift that went to the very top of Capri and decided it was time for an adventure. The chairlift was AMAZING – 360 degree view of Capri and surrounding islands, single chair, peace and quiet. We spent a good hour at the summit taking photos and admiring the views. We are developing quite a collection of spectacular action shots – look out Filia and Steph, we see you! Then after another peaceful ride back down the mountain, our stomachs decided it was time to have some lunch, naturally we selected to eat some “pennay” at a restaurant overlooking the beach, and enjoyed the serenity.
Well fed and falling into a serious case of 3:30-itis, we found a rock on the beach and basked in the sun while we waited for our boat to pick us up and take us back to camp. Too lazy to actually swim ourselves, we contented ourselves with living vicariously through the hundreds of enthusiastic bathers already enjoying the water. Yes, we have taken laziness to a new low.
On the way back to camp we took a detour around some more of the island and we came across a massive yacht named “Magic” – yes, Magic Johnson was hanging out on his MASSIVE yacht in Capri, claim to fame bitches. We also saw the houses that belong to Georgio Armani, Michael Douglas, The Chianti Wine owner and the Fiat owner. These guys seriously have money to burn. There were also numerous other villas that belonged to people with too much mula, but we tuned out, information overload. We also passed through the lover’s arch – it is part of these three huge cone shaped rocks the stick out of the sea, and the one in the middle has a natural arch in the bottom of it, supposedly if you kiss your lover at the moment you pass under the arch, you live happily ever after. How sweet. (Vom).
Seeing as it had been a jam packed day, we hiked it all the way back up the cliff side and passed out in our cabins............3 Hrs later.....missed dinner........it’s dark.....it’s cold.......we’re hungry......what time is it??? 9pm. Siesta fail. We trudged up to the camping ground restaurant looking like zombies. Hair was all tangled, eyes bloodshot and popping out of our heads, dazed looks on faces and minor drooling down the side of the face. Yes. It’s true.
So we were seated and a young, relatively attractive waiter came to take our order. So it began. “Oh, you have beautiful eyes” I just sat there and rolled my eyes, having heard this phrase about a million times. Totti just sits there and bats her eyelashes, relishing the compliment. “My name........is Francesco, what is your name?” “Kate”. Oh god, please kill me now. Did he mention that he was an engineer? “So. Kate – we go soma where a and drink a something?” (P.S everyone, he still had not acknowledged that I was even alive, or the fact that I may actually want my dinner some time soon). He then indicated me with a jab of his thumb over his shoulder and exclaimed “or you hava too-a staya with her-a all nighta?” My face was blank, I had no words. He finally left, our meal came, and we ate. Totti wanted a take away and asked me if I thought they would let us take our left over pizza away. I replied and told her that the waiter would probably give her what ever she liked. Sure enough, it went like this: “Can we please have this to take away?” “Ah....Kate... You—ah cana hava.....what ever you lika!” *insert sex eyes*. LOL. FML.
We paid a bill and headed back to our tent...Totti left Francesco with a “maybe” that she’ll come back and have a drink with him. We both passed out from an intense food coma...how unfortunate, poor Francesco!
Day 79:
We said goodbye to our luxurious twin share tarp tent with one door and one window and boarded the bus for the much anticipated Amalfi coast drive. The beginning of the drive was spectacular – words really can’t describe what this place looks like, you have to see it for yourself (or...look at our awesome photos when we get back!). They say that going to heaven would be just like another day in Amalfi – so effing true. We stopped at Positano for a stock up of fresh fruit..mmm...peaches! We took some photos and enjoyed the view. Interesting note: Along the coastline, residents with even number plates can only drive on every other day – like water restrictions back home. Also, buses are only allowed to drive south – one way.
We stopped in Amalfi for a good 3 hrs where we boarded a boat. The best way to see and capture Amalfi is definitely by sea and we got some great pictures. We saw some watch towers that were built a long time ago – they were old! Back on land, tummy again made a ruling that we must find Arancini – OMG. Totti had died and gone to heaven. Rice balls made in pasta sauce and fried in bread crumbs – seriously Italy...you are killing my 6-pack!
After our delicious feed, we wandered around the streets with one of our busabout buddies, Kristy. She had taken a liking to us on the first night at dinner, when totti amused her with her boganesque Ee-taliano. Oh. My. God. Apparently in Italy, there are such things as “Vine-Oh”, “Pennaayy” , “Fet-oo-chin-ay”, “Party Pasta (the pasta that they make out of three colours” “Leeemon-Chello” “Graz-ee”. I don’ think I have ever cringed to much in my whole entire life. Hilarious.
So anyway, Totti, Kristy and I wondered into a pasta shop and it began, ripping out all of the buzz words from dinner, the shop keeper was looking at us with pure horror on her face – seriously entertaining!
It was time to head back to the bus and make our way to our final destination – Ravello. We had been looking forward to going up there (yes, because we haven’t already eaten enough) because apparently there was meant to be this place that made the BEST sandwiches EVER. So after all the hype, we just had to see what all the fuss was about. Taking one for the team, again.
Oh. My. Lord. The sandwich was literally as big as our face. We have photographic evidence. It was AMAZING. Salami.....Provolone.....Prosciutto......More cheese.......More salami.....Sundried tomatoes......Eggplant...... Totti got dominated by her sandwich, and because I am a good little wog child, I kept eating, even though I was full to bursting. There was no way I was going to let the stray cats eyeing off my sandwich get anywhere near it. I’d rather pass out from eating too much. So it did live up to expectations, but we were so full we dragged ourselves back to the bus and sat in silence for the remainder of the trip back to Rome. Literally a food coma! Totti would like to point out “Notice how we don’t write anything about what Ravioli looks like?” WTF, she means Ravello. LOL.
We FINALLY made it back to my aunties house, grateful for a normal shower, a normal bed that wasn’t in a tent smelling of plastic. Now.....how can we possibly be hungry after everything we had eaten that day.....We’re full, seriously, we can just have a light dinner.....do you girls want pizza? Ok. Wow, really had to twist our arm on that one. My god. We actually suck!
We called it a night and decided to start packing for our trip to Sardegna the next morning.......well Totti packed, I had massive CBF and felt I had all my gear in order, so we turned in for the night, looking forward to the next four days, which would be spent on the beach, then feeding our faces off at my aunties beach house.
Day 80:
Well what can I say, it pays to be organised sometimes (thanks Dad for that gene). I had packed the night before – knowing quite well that we had ALOT of souvenirs that we had to be reunited with and somehow fit back into our luggage. Ela actually sucks. When we left Aus, Ela had her rack sack, her laptop bag and a hand bag....Ela now has – her rack sack, a tote bag, her laptop bag AND a hand bag. WTF. So we decided we should both get rid of our tote bags and buy one suitcase to fit all our souvys in...except coz Ela sucks only she managed to put all of her CRAP (souvys plus crap) into the suitcase. So...Ela carried, her rack sack, her suitcase, her laptop bag, her tote bag and her hand bag...while I laughed...hyseterically...there were tears. She was angry – I laughed some more. Crazy bag lady, I reckon she has some crazy cats in her bags too. Boo.
We packed up the car and bid farewell to Ostia and headed to the port. Some Pringles and h20 to ease the pain we boarded our ferry to Sardegna. 6hrs later...annoying Grandma speaking Italian....annoying kids pulling hair....annoying...annoying...we arrived. Lucky for us we parked the car first in line so we were the first to get off the boat – yippee! Sardegna is island famous for its beautiful beaches and chilled our atmosphere. Heaps of famous people choose Sardegna as a holiday destination as do majority of the Italian population!
We arrived at our beach house and Maurizio got straight on the job and fired up the BBQ. Ah...food...food...more food. We started with salami...then had some lamb....some more lamb...some salad...some vino...more lamb...starting to baa now....more lamb....Su Katie bevi, bevi, bevi!! Again, Italy had put us deep into a food coma. Zzzzzz....
Day 81:
We awakened to a plate of fresh pastries and fruit – we were very spoilt. After breaky, Maurizio picked us up and dropped us at the beach. The beach was filled with hundred of Italians getting their tans on – white sand and clear waters. Nadia (Ela’s aunty) couldn’t handle the sand for very long so she ditched and left us to even out our tans. 6hrs later and a very crispy bum we moseyed back to the house where we were fed until our belly buttons turned into outies. Tuna pasta with spicy tomato sauce...entree. Pork chops and salad for main course. I’m smelting in deliciousness!
There is always room for gelato, right? Yes. So we walked into the Piazza – through the night markets and swarms of people...to the gelato store, and beyond. Delicious. We people watched from a park bench for a little while and then headed back to get ready for our evening at the club.
A quiet night at a beachside bar where Ela’s cousin works. He kept the free drinks pouring as I attempted to sing along with the Italian singer. Fail. Ela ghosted some old couple doing the salsa with her Beyonce moves...Nadia got jiggy with it on the dance floor. I did the twist...for old times sake. Fun.
Zzz...
Day 82:
A bit of washing, a movie, more food, daytime siestas and more food. It was really nice and relaxing. We then went to the wholesale (bulk grocer) to help Maurizio and Nadia stock up on food for dinner. Meanwhile...while they did adult stuff, we explored the wholesaler and found a giant Nutella jar, giant Cheese slabs, body moisturizer with cheeky titles and tested many deodorants. Mature...we even got to drive the trolley!
So clearly an hour or two had passed and no food had been consumed, so we made our way back for dinner. Massive fresh fish over baked to pure deliciousness accompanied with roasted potatoes and salad. Oh dear lord...help me now! It was soooooooooo tasty. If only I could bring you all back a little nibble...sorry!
So relaxed and content, we finished with a exotic fruit which I can only describe as Marmalade fruit. It was the strangest thing – had bits of orange, lemon and grapefruit. Delicious....especially with chocolate!
Day 83:
We headed to a different beach today – soaked up some more sunshine, munched on some more fresh fruit. Ela had an interesting encounter with a saggy boob. She was casually wading in the water, admiring her surrounds whilst waving her arms from side to side when a old lady walked a little too close to her – Ela copped a hand full of sag. She ran screaming out of the water, much to my entertainment! Ha.
Now I know you’ve probably heard this before, but can you guess what we did next? Yes, we ate. Lol. Pasta cocktail – penne, bowties and spirals...pasta heaven! Usually we wouldn’t complain about eating a massive mountain of pasta, however we realised that 3hrs later we had to back up and do it again at dinner.
We enjoyed a nice family meal - the menu went something like this:
Appetizer: Salami, Sardegna bread, Olives, Cheese, Tuna peppers
Entree: Massive bowl of penne pomodoro and basilico
Main: Pitzaiola – veal soaked in tomato sauce and potatoes on the side
Dessert: Assortment of delicious Sardinian biscuits – from amaretti to meringues followed by more Vino, Limoncello and Rum & Coke.
Day 84:
Today Nadia took us to a little beach hideaway, she explained to us that this was the spot where Princess Dianna was the day before she died. It’s got very little actual beach, but is famous for this massive rock where people climb up and sunbake. We decided to bomb the crap out of it instead. We had a lot of fun climbing and exploring all the rock formations and trying to achieve the biggest splash with our dives.
We feel that the highlight of the day (besides the amazing view and crystal clear water) was when Maurizio arrived with a portable refrigerator full of lunch type goodness. So we spent the rest of the afternoon feeding our faces on prosciutto, bread and rockmelon. Needless to say that we couldn’t really swim afterwards, we just sunk. So we waded in the shallows and skimmed rocks for a while. Good times.
By the time 4pm rolled around we had to say goodbye to our little lagoon and make our way back to the house – we had a plane to catch :( On our way home we stopped to say goodbye to Valerio and Zio Elio, sad to have to leave them so soon.
It was then time for one last giant feed – another delicious BBQ followed by some gelato. We enjoyed our last meal with Maurizio and Nadia; a big shout out and a huge thank you for everything they did for us. We said goodbye to our basement home and loaded up the car with all our gear, and headed toward Olbia airport: Destination, Florence.
So far Italy has been good to us, and our stomachs, we look forward to more eating and more eating.....and more eating...... keep an eye out for Part 2 of domination Italy.
But it’s ciao for now as we make our way to Florence, Pisa, Siena and the Cinqueterre.
Say buongiorno to your Padre for us,
Kate & Ela
Xxx
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Greek Island Hopper
Day 62 – 75
Athens
We arrived at about 1am on day 62/63 and after a minor fuck up with our hotel booking we checked into our flash hotel. Ah so luxurious – free wifi, massive plasma and great beds! After a awesome sleep in we decided to spend the day re-connecting with the world seeing as we were spending the next day in Athens on our Greek Island tour.
So...we stocked up on cookies, juice, chips and spent the afternoon relaxing and preparing ourselves for our greek island top deck tour.
At about 5pm we met and gret with our new TD team. Abundance of aussies and one American flying solo – brave girl! From the moment we met our group we knew it was going to be a wild ride – a lot more people our age and only one couple – not that our first tour group was bad (love you guys) but this one had a different vibe.
We started to spot similarities in characters from our first tour – for instance...Team Blasian (blonde and asian) were apparent on first sighting and Steph McGregor clone (except the original has better drooling skills)!
We all went to dinner together to enjoy some Greek cuisine. Whilst at dinner, these ethopian men were walking around our table trying to sell dvds – ofcourse we want new dvds. So, naturally Totti and I sat the ethopians down and sifted through their collections and walked away with Alice in Wonderland, Twilight (the new one), Sex and the City (the new one) and Karate Kid (again...the new one). We were THAT excited about our new pirated movies that we wanted to bail on dinner and head to our hotel to watch them. Sad.
Twilight was GREAT. The occasional mid-movie pee break appearance and the odd “down in front” comment but other than that it was pretty much the Cinemax experience!
Athens
We would just like to give a huge shout out to The Baby Grand Hotel in Athens for providing normal, human, consumable, edible and TASTY breakfast foods. BIG FAT NORMAL GREEK BREAKFAST. It seems like for ever ago that we were able to track down a slice of toast and a glass freshly squeezed orange juice. We would also like to thank them for cat free eating areas and clean chairs to sit on! Much appreciated!!
So with full tummies and a couple of muffins for the road (yes, we are thinkers, plus we couldn’t fit them in for breakfast, so we had to compromise and take them for snacks – much to everyone’s envy come snack time :p) we went on a brief walking tour (although the walk was brief, it was stinking hot and we sweated like we were running a marathon) up to the Acropolis. Our tour leader Nikki (soon became known as Mummy) took us on a LONG ass walking tour – can we just add, she was wearing heels the whole tour. Oh the pain. We walked up to the acropolis and saw some stuff and some other things of the oldish kind. It was nice but not as good as the slushies we inhaled – owiii brain freeze!
We then spent the rest of the afternoon walking through the flea markets – getting hassled by greek men...and hassling them back! My favourite quote by Totti “You – too expensive” in her best greek voice! Such a wog.
In between dinner it was time to head to Cinemax again and watch Sex and The City 2.....well Totti did.......somewhere between Samantha trying to hold onto her youth and Kerrie trying to rekindle her marriage to Big. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Lol.
We met back up with our tour group and enjoyed a nice traditional greek dinner complete with greek dances to which some of the girls were quick to join in on. You will all be pleased to know that we are both seasoned wine drinkers now. Yeyah!
We kicked on at a local bar where we dominated some Ouzo (barf!) and hassled more greek men (gypsies). One girl...Mel Ho whom we nick-named MyHo was getting so frustrated with the dirty gypsy men that she bought a megaphone and proceeded to yell into it at his face “GO AWAY!”. Needless to say Ela and I were both in stiches.
Just as a side note – we downloaded the Shrek 4 iPhone application and entertained us...and everyone else with the “Do the ROAR” kid. Too funny. We all headed back to the hotel for some much needed shut eye before our walking tour in the morning.
Paros
FML. 5am wake up call to head to the port to catch our ferry to the island of Paros.
Pool for bombing. Tick.
Quad bikes for hire. Tick.
Boat to awesome beach. Tick.
Sand for making funny images. Tick.
Sand for burying. Tick.
So our life was pretty much complete. When we arrived we were well chuffed that the pool was right outside our room so we quickly swapped our jean shorts for our swimmers and did bombs.
We had lunch at a local cafe with the group while we waited for our hotel rooms to be serviced. At lunch we were well amused when we witnessed someone with a very simular random humour to ours. “What did you order for lunch”...MyHo replies in a Tourettes like outburst “MOUSAKA”. Far out we cacked ourselves. Guess you had to be there!
Soon bored, we decided to rock the beaches with our fros so we headed to the boat and off to Krios beach.
After a nice refreshing swim we started to get an itch to do something devious – so we got a half eaten apple and proceeded to make it into a face...and then built a body....and then gave it a extra long body part...the photos are priceless! Filia and Steph we shall privately send these to you! LOL!
We then thought it would be fun to bury each other in the sand and take photos – little did we know that half the beach were watching us and probably thought we were re-TARDS. But we had fun being sand monsters.
That night...well a bit of a blur really but it was good fun which ended in a swim of some kind – a true bomb-a-thon! We achieved two things that night: 1. The nickname Team Canberra and 2. A drinking record – which later got broken in Santorini.
Paros
The hangover – probably still over the limit we decided to get a group of cool kids and hire a bunch of quad bikes and hoon around the island...our leaders – US! Ela navigated, Totti at the wheel and off we went map in hand with our 7 quad convoy!
Seriously the best day ever complete with in-tune honking and holding up buses because we were too busy taking group photos and videos, that plus getting lost and one of our quads breaking down. Our convoy however seemed to think we were amazing (naturally) they felt that we would completely dominate The Amazing Race. Look out!
We stopped at random beaches all along the island every hour or so and went for regular swims and practised out floating skills (which p.s we would like to inform you are now world class. Even Totti who used to sink like a rock has come so far since her first floating attempt in Cancun).
We were accompanied by an awesome group of girls and guys whom we shall now give a shout out too: MyHo, Wallbanger, Paris, Amy, LN, Matty, Andy, sexy eyes Antonio! Miss you guys x
We met back up with our group and went and watched a beautiful sunset by the water – heaps of pretty photos.
The need for speed soon kicked in and we jumped back on our quads and headed north to the town of Naoussa (pronounced Noosa) for a walk along the old port and some dinner. It was such an exhilarating ride in the dark through the mountains however we had a minor hiccup when Paris’ bike started sparking from the back...but we are all still alive!
TRAVEL TIP: If in Paros, hire quad bikes – they cost 15 euro for 24hrs of pure awesomeness. The best thing is that you keep them overnight.
Mykonos
We spent the morning bumming around Paros before we headed to the port to catch our ferry to MYKONOS – the party island. On the way we were informed about a little fuck up at the hotel we were supposed to stay at – the bad news: the hotel double booked with another tour so we couldn’t stay there. The good news: they paid for all of us to be upgraded to a 5 star (yes 5 star) resort for the night. This made the 4 hour ferry much more bearable. When we arrived, we were chauffeured to our luxurious honeymoon 5 star resort complete with fluffy slippers and robes!
Our resort was that big it came with a map – the pool was infinity edge – there were several bars – a restaurant and a cafe...and free wifi!
We spent the afternoon relaxing on our private balcony overlooking the water and ducked in for a swim. One of the girls had her own Jacuzzi on her balcony. We were very spoilt.
That night we watched the sunset by the windmills and enjoyed a flash dinner on the water. It was then time to see what Mykonos had to offer in terms of nightlife. We started the night at the Mex Bar where we were showered with napkins...and alcohol...oh and free t-shirts. There was tequila, flaming shots, shakers full of potent shots and much more. MyHo was quick to pull out her booty moves and gave Coyote Ugly a run for their money by dancing the shit out of the bar. We were well entertained. Favourite quote of the night, Wallbanger “I have a really high threshold for alcohol”...3 minutes later “Fuck, I’m so smashed”. Ah...FAIL! lol.
We finally dragged our butts away from Mex and headed to the famous Scandinavian bar where we were again showered with free shots and t-shirts. YEYAH! We love free stuff. There was a pole in this bar which MyHo and Matty dominated. Lol. More bar dancing. More alcohol.
We got home safely. That is all.
We decided it would be a great idea to make use of our fluffy robes and slippers and head to the pool for a late night/early morning swim. It was rather cold so we didn’t last long but our robes and slippers (which we stole) were rather comfy!
Mykonos
We wore our slippers and free t-shirts to breakfast and drifted around the hotel lobby until we found the breakfast room. Lots of blood shot eyes and ‘no-showers’....Andy – you dead mon?! Lol.
We decided there was no better way to spend the day than to hit Super Paradise beach for some sun and salt water. The boat took for frickin ages to get there but with Pringles, Coke and icy poles with tattoos in hand we didn’t really care. We spent the day on the beach...that is all.
Round 2: We hit up Paradise beach, Tropicana bar...sausage fest! YEYAH! Lol. We were well over dressed in tights and a t-shirt as everyone was practically naked by the time we got there but we enjoyed it. Mmmm...
Tropicana bar closed at 12 so we walked up to Cavo Paradiso to see what was happening. It costs 35 euro to get in and we both agreed we’d be well devo if we paid and it was shitty, so we left the group and headed back into town. We drank and danced some more at Mex bar and then enjoyed a white nutella crepe...mmm....
TIP: Apparently Cavo Paradiso plays really heavy dance music but is a awesome venue on the cliff overlooking the water – not really our cup of tea but keep it in mind if you’re in Mykonos.
Santorini
The most anticipated island of the tour – we had all heard so much about Santorini. The sea was really choppy so we managed to get our hands on some TravelCalm motion sickness tablets and zonked out for the whole trip. YEYAH!
We got to our hotel early evening, showered and walked down the road to the local taverna for dinner. We were still fairly drowsy from the trip so decided to have a early night and invited the girls and Matty back to our room for a cinema experience screening The Karate Kid. Great movie.
Zzzzz.....
Santorini
Sigh. Breakfast fail again. Warm milk in 30 degree heat = soggy cereal. Anyway, so we got picked up by our private bus and made our way into the main town: we had an action packed day to come, cable car ride down to the port, hiking up an active volcano and then a swim into the hot springs to play with some mud. Yehyah! Followed by a hilarious donkey ride up 500 steps.
TIP: thongs hiking up a volcano = fail and most probably face plant into the schmelting hot lava. So, hungy, complain, tired, hot, more complain, thirsty, no water, schtinky, complain – “But whhyyyyy-ya!” “Doooooonnnttt- uh” You get the picture. We finally made it to the top of the4 stupid effing volcano and enjoyed a lovely group photo (our tour guide payed us out – as she was standing there with about 10 cameras in her hand, she forcefully reminded us that it is in fact 2010 “you know guys....there’s a thing called facebook...you can tag people” shut down lol), some warm water and stale cheesy Pringles. Ah, the good life.
After making it back down the volcano, we took our private boat into the entrance of the hot springs and bombed off the side into the 30 degree water. Which turned into minus 2 degree water, which heated back up to 30 degree water – so strange!! We doggy paddled, floated, waded – any other form of swimming, to the mud. Ah, the mud – it’s a shame we couldn’t get photos here, basically we all looked like Shrek or The Hulk. Apparently this mud is meant to be amazing for your skin, so instead of just having a face mask, we pretty much coated ourselves in it lol. Unfortunately it was time to swim back to the boat and head back for our donkey ride.
Fucken stupid donkey – we have both appreciated having bruise free and uninjured legs, the stupid animal thought it would be nice to crush us into the wall numerous times up the mountain. The situation was NOT helped when the little greek man ringing up the rear whipped the donkeys, only making them pick up bursts of speed and merge into a giant donkey orgy of stink! FFS! It was very fun and our favourite donkey name of the day “Wallbanger JR.” LOL! That’ll do Donkey, that’ll do! Eh, eh! See what we did there?
Sooooooooooooooo..... the mud turned us into Oompa Loompa’s, we were radiating bright orange. Fake tan much? We couldn’t wait to get back to the hotel so we could have a bomb-a-thon.
- Side note: The perfect bomb shall henceforth be judged based on three criteria
1: air time 2: Facial expression 3: the size of your splash.
We also convinced MyHo and Matty to have bellyflop competitions - rather entertaining!!! Their pain was our joy lol.
So, sick of looking like oranges, we decided to leave the pool and exfoliate our faces off. Lucky for us, the mud all eventually washed off and we were back to our bleck looking selves in no time.
Since being named “Team Canberra” or Team Berra for short, we decided that because it was our last night on tour, that we should go out with a bang. We made arm bands from the ripped sleeves of our Mykonos T-shirts and accessorised our outfits that way. Coolest kids in school.
We decided to follow suit and get a roadie to take with us on the bus, so we went across the road and got a take away vodka lemonade in a paper cup (classy) and hopped on the bus. So it was pretty much a repeat of Berlin, the measure of Vodka to Lemonade was rather overwhelming, vom. We made it into town alive, and watched what was most possibly the most beautiful sunset we have had the pleasure of witnessing.
After that, we got a quick bite to eat and headed to our first pub on the pub crawl list: Murphy’s. Well.....where to begin....two for one cocktails till 10:30 and complimentary shots......more two for one cocktails......the sailor hat.....the roses.....rum and coke.....rum and coke....lady gaga...MyHo bar dancing.....more rum and coke.....good night!
Next morning. F.A.I.L. – well.... Totti punished the dunny. I feel that this stench has reached the top of her shit- o –meter. She was even surprised at how much it stank. We pretty much spent the day feeling sorry for ourselves, we just assumed the foetal position in the hotel lobby and waited for our bus to take us to the port. Stupid crack head kitten had to disturb our serenity. This little bugger was burning around the lobby – then it found us and took a liking to clawing our feet off. Yes, we are tough, scared of a little kitten.
We were not looking forward to the 9 hr ferry ride back to Athens – so we popped another travel calm and fashioned ourselves some beds out of our seats and extra chairs and passed out for a good four hrs. The rest of the trip was rather entertaining – we just watched MyHo and Ellen bicker and pay each other out. Wallbanger was about to hit the wall ( A thankyou) “I need to get off this effing boat – NOW!”
We FINALLY arrived in Athens at 1am and dragged ourselves back to our room and hit the pillow. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!
After a nice solid sleep, we all went down to brekky and said our goodbye’s – the last ten days has gone too quickly for our liking and we were sad to see everyone leave so soon. We’d like to thank everyone for making this trip so memorable – we hope you all make it home safe, and keep in touch. And don’t forget “We love dance, do do, do do do do do do, we love dance”
We then spent the rest of the day strolling around Athens and finally did some shopping (by shopping me mean more dvd’s off our Ethiopian dealers, we now have shrek 4, toy story 3, Grown ups, and a couple of random ones), went up to the acropolis and came across a little boy taking out his revenge on the pigeons in the town square. This was the highlight of the day – the elation on Totti’s face “LOOK AT THAT KID, HE’S STEPPING ON THE STUPID BIRD’S WINGS (LOL). Finally, someone who hates them as much as her. Too effing funny!
We said goodnight to the ice addicts shooting up outside our hotel and finally updated our blog!
And so we are gearing up for three weeks of Italian domination – food, food, and more food.
Yamas, bitches. Say hi to your dad for us.
Love, Team Berra xxxx
Athens
We arrived at about 1am on day 62/63 and after a minor fuck up with our hotel booking we checked into our flash hotel. Ah so luxurious – free wifi, massive plasma and great beds! After a awesome sleep in we decided to spend the day re-connecting with the world seeing as we were spending the next day in Athens on our Greek Island tour.
So...we stocked up on cookies, juice, chips and spent the afternoon relaxing and preparing ourselves for our greek island top deck tour.
At about 5pm we met and gret with our new TD team. Abundance of aussies and one American flying solo – brave girl! From the moment we met our group we knew it was going to be a wild ride – a lot more people our age and only one couple – not that our first tour group was bad (love you guys) but this one had a different vibe.
We started to spot similarities in characters from our first tour – for instance...Team Blasian (blonde and asian) were apparent on first sighting and Steph McGregor clone (except the original has better drooling skills)!
We all went to dinner together to enjoy some Greek cuisine. Whilst at dinner, these ethopian men were walking around our table trying to sell dvds – ofcourse we want new dvds. So, naturally Totti and I sat the ethopians down and sifted through their collections and walked away with Alice in Wonderland, Twilight (the new one), Sex and the City (the new one) and Karate Kid (again...the new one). We were THAT excited about our new pirated movies that we wanted to bail on dinner and head to our hotel to watch them. Sad.
Twilight was GREAT. The occasional mid-movie pee break appearance and the odd “down in front” comment but other than that it was pretty much the Cinemax experience!
Athens
We would just like to give a huge shout out to The Baby Grand Hotel in Athens for providing normal, human, consumable, edible and TASTY breakfast foods. BIG FAT NORMAL GREEK BREAKFAST. It seems like for ever ago that we were able to track down a slice of toast and a glass freshly squeezed orange juice. We would also like to thank them for cat free eating areas and clean chairs to sit on! Much appreciated!!
So with full tummies and a couple of muffins for the road (yes, we are thinkers, plus we couldn’t fit them in for breakfast, so we had to compromise and take them for snacks – much to everyone’s envy come snack time :p) we went on a brief walking tour (although the walk was brief, it was stinking hot and we sweated like we were running a marathon) up to the Acropolis. Our tour leader Nikki (soon became known as Mummy) took us on a LONG ass walking tour – can we just add, she was wearing heels the whole tour. Oh the pain. We walked up to the acropolis and saw some stuff and some other things of the oldish kind. It was nice but not as good as the slushies we inhaled – owiii brain freeze!
We then spent the rest of the afternoon walking through the flea markets – getting hassled by greek men...and hassling them back! My favourite quote by Totti “You – too expensive” in her best greek voice! Such a wog.
In between dinner it was time to head to Cinemax again and watch Sex and The City 2.....well Totti did.......somewhere between Samantha trying to hold onto her youth and Kerrie trying to rekindle her marriage to Big. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Lol.
We met back up with our tour group and enjoyed a nice traditional greek dinner complete with greek dances to which some of the girls were quick to join in on. You will all be pleased to know that we are both seasoned wine drinkers now. Yeyah!
We kicked on at a local bar where we dominated some Ouzo (barf!) and hassled more greek men (gypsies). One girl...Mel Ho whom we nick-named MyHo was getting so frustrated with the dirty gypsy men that she bought a megaphone and proceeded to yell into it at his face “GO AWAY!”. Needless to say Ela and I were both in stiches.
Just as a side note – we downloaded the Shrek 4 iPhone application and entertained us...and everyone else with the “Do the ROAR” kid. Too funny. We all headed back to the hotel for some much needed shut eye before our walking tour in the morning.
Paros
FML. 5am wake up call to head to the port to catch our ferry to the island of Paros.
Pool for bombing. Tick.
Quad bikes for hire. Tick.
Boat to awesome beach. Tick.
Sand for making funny images. Tick.
Sand for burying. Tick.
So our life was pretty much complete. When we arrived we were well chuffed that the pool was right outside our room so we quickly swapped our jean shorts for our swimmers and did bombs.
We had lunch at a local cafe with the group while we waited for our hotel rooms to be serviced. At lunch we were well amused when we witnessed someone with a very simular random humour to ours. “What did you order for lunch”...MyHo replies in a Tourettes like outburst “MOUSAKA”. Far out we cacked ourselves. Guess you had to be there!
Soon bored, we decided to rock the beaches with our fros so we headed to the boat and off to Krios beach.
After a nice refreshing swim we started to get an itch to do something devious – so we got a half eaten apple and proceeded to make it into a face...and then built a body....and then gave it a extra long body part...the photos are priceless! Filia and Steph we shall privately send these to you! LOL!
We then thought it would be fun to bury each other in the sand and take photos – little did we know that half the beach were watching us and probably thought we were re-TARDS. But we had fun being sand monsters.
That night...well a bit of a blur really but it was good fun which ended in a swim of some kind – a true bomb-a-thon! We achieved two things that night: 1. The nickname Team Canberra and 2. A drinking record – which later got broken in Santorini.
Paros
The hangover – probably still over the limit we decided to get a group of cool kids and hire a bunch of quad bikes and hoon around the island...our leaders – US! Ela navigated, Totti at the wheel and off we went map in hand with our 7 quad convoy!
Seriously the best day ever complete with in-tune honking and holding up buses because we were too busy taking group photos and videos, that plus getting lost and one of our quads breaking down. Our convoy however seemed to think we were amazing (naturally) they felt that we would completely dominate The Amazing Race. Look out!
We stopped at random beaches all along the island every hour or so and went for regular swims and practised out floating skills (which p.s we would like to inform you are now world class. Even Totti who used to sink like a rock has come so far since her first floating attempt in Cancun).
We were accompanied by an awesome group of girls and guys whom we shall now give a shout out too: MyHo, Wallbanger, Paris, Amy, LN, Matty, Andy, sexy eyes Antonio! Miss you guys x
We met back up with our group and went and watched a beautiful sunset by the water – heaps of pretty photos.
The need for speed soon kicked in and we jumped back on our quads and headed north to the town of Naoussa (pronounced Noosa) for a walk along the old port and some dinner. It was such an exhilarating ride in the dark through the mountains however we had a minor hiccup when Paris’ bike started sparking from the back...but we are all still alive!
TRAVEL TIP: If in Paros, hire quad bikes – they cost 15 euro for 24hrs of pure awesomeness. The best thing is that you keep them overnight.
Mykonos
We spent the morning bumming around Paros before we headed to the port to catch our ferry to MYKONOS – the party island. On the way we were informed about a little fuck up at the hotel we were supposed to stay at – the bad news: the hotel double booked with another tour so we couldn’t stay there. The good news: they paid for all of us to be upgraded to a 5 star (yes 5 star) resort for the night. This made the 4 hour ferry much more bearable. When we arrived, we were chauffeured to our luxurious honeymoon 5 star resort complete with fluffy slippers and robes!
Our resort was that big it came with a map – the pool was infinity edge – there were several bars – a restaurant and a cafe...and free wifi!
We spent the afternoon relaxing on our private balcony overlooking the water and ducked in for a swim. One of the girls had her own Jacuzzi on her balcony. We were very spoilt.
That night we watched the sunset by the windmills and enjoyed a flash dinner on the water. It was then time to see what Mykonos had to offer in terms of nightlife. We started the night at the Mex Bar where we were showered with napkins...and alcohol...oh and free t-shirts. There was tequila, flaming shots, shakers full of potent shots and much more. MyHo was quick to pull out her booty moves and gave Coyote Ugly a run for their money by dancing the shit out of the bar. We were well entertained. Favourite quote of the night, Wallbanger “I have a really high threshold for alcohol”...3 minutes later “Fuck, I’m so smashed”. Ah...FAIL! lol.
We finally dragged our butts away from Mex and headed to the famous Scandinavian bar where we were again showered with free shots and t-shirts. YEYAH! We love free stuff. There was a pole in this bar which MyHo and Matty dominated. Lol. More bar dancing. More alcohol.
We got home safely. That is all.
We decided it would be a great idea to make use of our fluffy robes and slippers and head to the pool for a late night/early morning swim. It was rather cold so we didn’t last long but our robes and slippers (which we stole) were rather comfy!
Mykonos
We wore our slippers and free t-shirts to breakfast and drifted around the hotel lobby until we found the breakfast room. Lots of blood shot eyes and ‘no-showers’....Andy – you dead mon?! Lol.
We decided there was no better way to spend the day than to hit Super Paradise beach for some sun and salt water. The boat took for frickin ages to get there but with Pringles, Coke and icy poles with tattoos in hand we didn’t really care. We spent the day on the beach...that is all.
Round 2: We hit up Paradise beach, Tropicana bar...sausage fest! YEYAH! Lol. We were well over dressed in tights and a t-shirt as everyone was practically naked by the time we got there but we enjoyed it. Mmmm...
Tropicana bar closed at 12 so we walked up to Cavo Paradiso to see what was happening. It costs 35 euro to get in and we both agreed we’d be well devo if we paid and it was shitty, so we left the group and headed back into town. We drank and danced some more at Mex bar and then enjoyed a white nutella crepe...mmm....
TIP: Apparently Cavo Paradiso plays really heavy dance music but is a awesome venue on the cliff overlooking the water – not really our cup of tea but keep it in mind if you’re in Mykonos.
Santorini
The most anticipated island of the tour – we had all heard so much about Santorini. The sea was really choppy so we managed to get our hands on some TravelCalm motion sickness tablets and zonked out for the whole trip. YEYAH!
We got to our hotel early evening, showered and walked down the road to the local taverna for dinner. We were still fairly drowsy from the trip so decided to have a early night and invited the girls and Matty back to our room for a cinema experience screening The Karate Kid. Great movie.
Zzzzz.....
Santorini
Sigh. Breakfast fail again. Warm milk in 30 degree heat = soggy cereal. Anyway, so we got picked up by our private bus and made our way into the main town: we had an action packed day to come, cable car ride down to the port, hiking up an active volcano and then a swim into the hot springs to play with some mud. Yehyah! Followed by a hilarious donkey ride up 500 steps.
TIP: thongs hiking up a volcano = fail and most probably face plant into the schmelting hot lava. So, hungy, complain, tired, hot, more complain, thirsty, no water, schtinky, complain – “But whhyyyyy-ya!” “Doooooonnnttt- uh” You get the picture. We finally made it to the top of the4 stupid effing volcano and enjoyed a lovely group photo (our tour guide payed us out – as she was standing there with about 10 cameras in her hand, she forcefully reminded us that it is in fact 2010 “you know guys....there’s a thing called facebook...you can tag people” shut down lol), some warm water and stale cheesy Pringles. Ah, the good life.
After making it back down the volcano, we took our private boat into the entrance of the hot springs and bombed off the side into the 30 degree water. Which turned into minus 2 degree water, which heated back up to 30 degree water – so strange!! We doggy paddled, floated, waded – any other form of swimming, to the mud. Ah, the mud – it’s a shame we couldn’t get photos here, basically we all looked like Shrek or The Hulk. Apparently this mud is meant to be amazing for your skin, so instead of just having a face mask, we pretty much coated ourselves in it lol. Unfortunately it was time to swim back to the boat and head back for our donkey ride.
Fucken stupid donkey – we have both appreciated having bruise free and uninjured legs, the stupid animal thought it would be nice to crush us into the wall numerous times up the mountain. The situation was NOT helped when the little greek man ringing up the rear whipped the donkeys, only making them pick up bursts of speed and merge into a giant donkey orgy of stink! FFS! It was very fun and our favourite donkey name of the day “Wallbanger JR.” LOL! That’ll do Donkey, that’ll do! Eh, eh! See what we did there?
Sooooooooooooooo..... the mud turned us into Oompa Loompa’s, we were radiating bright orange. Fake tan much? We couldn’t wait to get back to the hotel so we could have a bomb-a-thon.
- Side note: The perfect bomb shall henceforth be judged based on three criteria
1: air time 2: Facial expression 3: the size of your splash.
We also convinced MyHo and Matty to have bellyflop competitions - rather entertaining!!! Their pain was our joy lol.
So, sick of looking like oranges, we decided to leave the pool and exfoliate our faces off. Lucky for us, the mud all eventually washed off and we were back to our bleck looking selves in no time.
Since being named “Team Canberra” or Team Berra for short, we decided that because it was our last night on tour, that we should go out with a bang. We made arm bands from the ripped sleeves of our Mykonos T-shirts and accessorised our outfits that way. Coolest kids in school.
We decided to follow suit and get a roadie to take with us on the bus, so we went across the road and got a take away vodka lemonade in a paper cup (classy) and hopped on the bus. So it was pretty much a repeat of Berlin, the measure of Vodka to Lemonade was rather overwhelming, vom. We made it into town alive, and watched what was most possibly the most beautiful sunset we have had the pleasure of witnessing.
After that, we got a quick bite to eat and headed to our first pub on the pub crawl list: Murphy’s. Well.....where to begin....two for one cocktails till 10:30 and complimentary shots......more two for one cocktails......the sailor hat.....the roses.....rum and coke.....rum and coke....lady gaga...MyHo bar dancing.....more rum and coke.....good night!
Next morning. F.A.I.L. – well.... Totti punished the dunny. I feel that this stench has reached the top of her shit- o –meter. She was even surprised at how much it stank. We pretty much spent the day feeling sorry for ourselves, we just assumed the foetal position in the hotel lobby and waited for our bus to take us to the port. Stupid crack head kitten had to disturb our serenity. This little bugger was burning around the lobby – then it found us and took a liking to clawing our feet off. Yes, we are tough, scared of a little kitten.
We were not looking forward to the 9 hr ferry ride back to Athens – so we popped another travel calm and fashioned ourselves some beds out of our seats and extra chairs and passed out for a good four hrs. The rest of the trip was rather entertaining – we just watched MyHo and Ellen bicker and pay each other out. Wallbanger was about to hit the wall ( A thankyou) “I need to get off this effing boat – NOW!”
We FINALLY arrived in Athens at 1am and dragged ourselves back to our room and hit the pillow. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!
After a nice solid sleep, we all went down to brekky and said our goodbye’s – the last ten days has gone too quickly for our liking and we were sad to see everyone leave so soon. We’d like to thank everyone for making this trip so memorable – we hope you all make it home safe, and keep in touch. And don’t forget “We love dance, do do, do do do do do do, we love dance”
We then spent the rest of the day strolling around Athens and finally did some shopping (by shopping me mean more dvd’s off our Ethiopian dealers, we now have shrek 4, toy story 3, Grown ups, and a couple of random ones), went up to the acropolis and came across a little boy taking out his revenge on the pigeons in the town square. This was the highlight of the day – the elation on Totti’s face “LOOK AT THAT KID, HE’S STEPPING ON THE STUPID BIRD’S WINGS (LOL). Finally, someone who hates them as much as her. Too effing funny!
We said goodnight to the ice addicts shooting up outside our hotel and finally updated our blog!
And so we are gearing up for three weeks of Italian domination – food, food, and more food.
Yamas, bitches. Say hi to your dad for us.
Love, Team Berra xxxx
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
