Day 41 – The Beginning of our Venetian trail Top Deck Tour:
Seeing as we hadn’t slept in like two days, we ended up waking at about 12:30pm. Got showered and dressed and had a late brekky and my auntie drove us to Hotel Beethoven in Fortebraschi – it turns out this is the neighbourhood where my grandfather grew up, so I was well chuffed, as my auntie showed me where he used to live when he was a kid. So we made it to the hotel where we were greeted by our tour guide and other tourists.
So we did go on this holiday with the intention of getting away from Australia lol but pretty much our ENTIRE tour group was from Melbourne and this is how small the world really is – of all the people to run into, Kim Neilson is on our Top Deck tour. We play soccer with Kim at Belwest, and she lives in my suburb. We were a little freaked out!! Lol.
Anyway - We caught the metro into Rome and did a walking tour – we enjoyed some gelato while strolling past the Spanish steps, the Trevi fountain, the Pantheon, the Colosseum, the Sentate and the Forum.
From there it was time to head back to the hotel and to dinner – we went to the local Osteria and had some good ol’ delicious Roman dishes. I was especially excited, as it was just like eating my mums cooking :)
Day 42:
We had a big day on the road – we commenced our drive up to Venice with a brief stopover in Verona; the home of Romeo and Juliet. It’s such a pretty town, we saw Juliet’s house and saw the famous wall where people pin love notes to each other, very cool. We then wandered around the streets and the markets etc before it was time to head back to the bus and continue our road trip to Venice.
Our hotel was in the newer part of Venice – we were to catch the bus into the main city the next day, so we all just showered and enjoyed another delicious dinner at a restaurant around the corner.
So after a long uncomfortable bus ride, we were so ready to lie on a normal surface free of seat dividers and seat belts, and passed straight out.
Day 42:
We caught the bus into Venice and were there by about 9am – we were really excited to go on a Gondola ride and explore the streets – so many small alleyways and boutiques hidden between the canals. It really is a beautiful city rich in art and history and culture. Part of Venetian tradition is lace making, so we were given a tour of a lace school. She explained how long it takes to become a master lace maker, and she proceeded to show us an awesome piece which apparently took 9 months to complete. When she asked the group at large if any of us knew what kind of stitch was used in the piece, Benji, a total bogan who has a knack for saying inappropriate but equally hilarious things rose to the occasion and answered the question by trying to make his English sound Italian and replied with “ it izza - harda ta doey stich” The entire group absolutely pissed themselves laughing for about ten minutes strait, even the lady had a small giggle, it was priceless.
So after that it was time for the much anticipated gondola ride. It lived up to all expectations and it was pretty cool. We got taken through the smaller canals and then onto the Grand canal – it’s a truly breath taking sight.
After our Gondola ride, we had the rest of the afternoon to explore, so Totti and I decided to wonder around. We ended up in the inner suburbs, winding in and out of narrow streets, looking through the tiny shops full of the beautiful masks and lost ourselves for a good few hrs. We found a little restaurant and enjoyed a nice pizza and free wifi and made our way back to Piazza S.Marco and up with the old bell tower. This is a must do – it only costs 8 euro and gives and an unimpeded 360 view of the entire city. Awesome.
By this stage we’d had a pretty big day. Oh I forgot to mention that the pigeons had an absolutely field day with Totti – it entertained me greatly :p But yes, so we had a big day and made our way back to the bus stop and onto the bus back to our Hotel.
After a nice dinner we all pretty much retired early – we were pooped and had to be up at bum crack to start another day on the road; destination Pag Island via the Postajana caves.
Day 43:
Yawn. Waking up early sucks. We struggled with our luggage back down the stairs and dragged ourselves into the bus and pretty much conked out for a couple of hrs. The drive into Slovenia was spectacular – the forests and fields reminded us of old fairy tales and lands of once upon a time. We arrived at the caves and did the train/walking tour through them. They were pretty amazing – and HUGE. It is only ever 8 degrees down there, the whole year round. I don’t really know what technical terms I can use, so I won’t, suffice it to say that it was a really awesome sight to see. At one stage we had a black out inside the cave and it was absolutely pitch black for about 2 minutes. A long time to stand in the dark. A little bit of wee came out lol. We made it out alive and headed back to the bus, not far till Croatia now :)
When crossing the border the bus was stopped and a soldier came on board. Everyone was immediately silent as we were told that they often come on board and may perform bag checks etc. All this guy wanted was two bottles of Coca Cola and he let us through without further question. LOL. Nice to know that border security is taken seriously in Europe haha.
And so off we went as we began driving the winding roads down the Croatian coastline. We had to catch a ferry over to Pag island and then continued our drive to the hotel. Everyone was keen to shower and get ready to go out and party. And party we did lol what a night. They took us to this beach lined with clubs of every description and ridiculously cheap and delicious drinks. That’s all I’ll say. We dazzled locals with our amazing dance moves and we proceeded to ghost anyone we could find. Everyone had a ball, it was a good night all round.
Day 44:
Needless to say it was struggle town all round today; bleary eyes and sore heads a-plenty. Stories of projectile vomit were circulating around the group, and incriminating photographic evidence of what may or may not have happened began to surface as everyone exchanged their hangover stories at breakfast. Most people had lazy days just hanging at the beach – we hired scooters with a couple of the other girls and rode around the island and then back to the beach from the night before. Everyone’s amnesia seemed to wear off as we started remembering what things actually looked like and what we’d done the night before. So we enjoyed a late lunch and went for a nice swim and rode back the hotel. Snooze time!
After lounging around for the rest of the afternoon we got dressed and walked to a nearby restaurant and enjoyed a laid back dinner followed by a walk along the pier checking out what the night markets had on offer. We decided that since we have been sleep deprived for the past few days, we were nannas and turned in early.
Day 45:
Much to Totti’s delight, I sat in cat shit at breakfast. I then swapped the soiled chair for a new one. Turns out the cat lost its bowels all over that chair too. So after being turned off my meal, and with a well fed Totti to remind me that I had just sat in poo, we made our way onto the bus and started our drive to Ljubljana, Slovenia. We arrived to a resort/ caravan style set up and were very excited at the prospect of free wifi and an awesome water park!!! So we got into our swimmers and disrupted the serenity of the pool area by doing first class bombs into the pool. Our tour group then went into the town square for dinner afterwhich we walked around ghosting people :p One of the girls on our tour, Steph, showcased her break dancing skills, or lack thereof, in the middle of a circle of people who were already watching some local dancers. Everyone literally wet their pants laughing. Recognise!
Our day just seemed to get better – too much energy to go to sleep.....what to do...what to do? Play on the playground in the dark and take action shots. Yup! Walk around like Idaho from house bunny. Yup!! Break into the water park with Stef, Filia and Totti only to get pushed into the pool. Yup! So our little night time adventure turned into a swim complete with hand stand competitions, watching the fart bubbles and spending 20 minutes trying to work out whether or not the strange shape was actually human. It turned out to be a turtle statue in the kids pool. Fail. :p Dripping wet and looking like drowned rats, we ninja’d back to our cabins, mighty proud of our efforts for the evening ;)
Day 46:
Grateful for the short drive this morning – we hopped on the bus and headed to Lake Bled, Slovenia. Literally a lake surrounded by alps and forest. We spent the first part of the morning with our toes in the lake, I took some photos of Totti being an exhibitionist, then modelling on the chair – only to realise that the rest of the tour group was watching us and pissing themselves laughing – “Get any good bum shots”?. LOL! So after our little photo shoot we took a row boat ride to the little island in the middle of the lake and walked around there for a while. Once back on land, we went to these things similar to what they have at Corin Forest back home. We had to take a ski lift to the top of the mountain – the view was awesome. Then we fanged it all the way down, good fun :)
So it was time to hop back on the bus and head for Salzburg, Austria – home to the world famous set of The Sound of Music. As with every bus trip, it’s mandatory for the bus drivers to stop, revive and survive every couple of hours. We usually have a couple of 15minute pee stops and then a half an hour lunch break – our tour guide Adam usually gives us a “be back at this time” lecture before we get off. A rule on our tour is the last person back on the bus has to wear this hideous annoying Jester hat (with effing bells) until the next stop. Without fail, every single stop Totti and I are always the last ones on the bus – hence the hat is always shared between us, FML. Well...on the way to Salzburg we were late getting on the bus (as usual and expected), however this time we were given a “talk” too by Adam – it was literally like being in the principal’s office and getting detention. From this point on, we have sweared we won’t be late on the bus – fingers crossed we can do it! Please prey for us – we would hate to be kicked off in Amsterdam!!
The drive into Salzburg provided us with beautiful scenery of the Austrian alps. Seriously, Mt Kozcuisko should be ashamed of itself – you got nothing! We arrived in Salzburg 1 hour behind schedule (sorry guys!) and checked into our hotel. A quick shower and change and we were off into town for a walking tour. We saw where parts of the Sound of Music was filmed, Mozart’s birthplace, the Salzburg castle etc etc!
Day 47:
We left Salzburg reasonably early and headed for Mathausen Concentration Camp. For those of you who arn’t aware – the Mathausen Concentration Camp was one of the largest concentration camps during WW2. The camp began as a working camp and later became a death camp. Inmates were forced to rise at 4:30am where they would attend role call which would generally last for about 3hrs, their breakfast where they were told to take 3 scoops of turnip soup – they were not given bowls only spoons – if they took anymore than 3 scoops, they were killed. They’d then be sent to the quarry where they worked for 12 – 15 hours until dinner where they were given 25g rice. The average inmate weighed around 42-48kg as a full grown man. Around 500,000 people were killed in the camp. The death stairs – the stairs leading from the quarry to the camp killed majority of the inmates. As thousands of malnutrition men tried to carry 20-30kg rocks up the stairs, often they would slip and fall and cause a avalanche of death.
When the camp became a death camp –upon arrival, inmates were told to take off all their clothes. They were then shaved of all their hair – the natzis used the hair to make blankets. They were handed a cake of soap and told they were to shower – they were led into bathrooms and locked in. In fact, they were tricked – the bathrooms were gas chambers and they were killed.
W e watched a 30 minute film which told the story of Mathausen. Some interesting, sombre moments and needless to say plenty of tears. We then had the opportunity to walk around the camp – it was huge. It was probably the size of the average college in Canberra. We walked through the barracks, the gas chamber, the crematorium and the shooting block. We also walked down the death stairs.
The camp has now been turned into a memorial and has plaques from those countries who lost men at the camp. It was a very moving place which held a lot of history – a sad start to the day.
We headed to maccas for some comfort food – we shall never complain about anything again. Definately won’t forget Mathausen. We watched Ice Age on the bus as we continued our journey to Prague.
Upon arriving in Prague, we quickly showered, had dinner at our hotel restaurant and off we went on our walking tour. The night took us to a couple of bars in Prague – filled with 12yr olds and sweat, we partied the night away. Absinth = Ass. That is all.
Day 48:
Day at leisure – we decided it was time to hit the shops as we are well over the same shitty clothes. We wandered the streets of Prague at our own pace, sipping on our coke and water. It was time to pee – oh hell no...not in Prague. It costs 5 cookies (Czech currency is called Kruna’s but we labelled them cookies, kuna-matatas, cronies, coronas and everything else besides their proper title) to use the facilities. 10 cookies broker, we decided it was time for lunch and stopped at a little cafe and enjoyed some free wifi. We trammed it back to our hotel and lazed for the rest of the afternoon.
We agreed to meet our tour buddies for dinner and spend the last of our Czech currency. We literally walked across the road to this cute but freaky pub which was filled with pictures of crazy cat ladies and skeletons. After enjoying a delicious schnitzel, we asked for the bill – 1000 cookies. Oh shit....we only had 750 between us. So after counting and then re-counting our money, we sent someone on a scavenger hunt to find more money – Steph is an awesome break dancer so we told her to go and busk so we could pay the bill and not be murdered by the freaky deaky Czech man. We were saved by Ange who gave us her last cookies – thanks Ange!
Ela updated her facebook status tonight...it read...”Hey Amsterdam – we’re here to fuck shit up”. Little did she know (because most of the time she has no idea) that we were actually going to Berlin. FAIL. Filia was quick to jump on Facebook and make a point of the fact that she is actually retarded – “but we are going to Berlin”. Massive embarrassment for Ela...again.
Day 49:
Today we headed to Berlin – we probably should have mentioned that as a sort of introduction to each major city, we play a movie on the bus that has something to do with our destination. On the way to Berlin, we watched “Beerfest” – for those who haven’t seen it, basically it’s just about this huge drinking competition in Germany, and a bunch of guys from the United States go and compete to win back their family brewery. This becomes relevant, we promise.
So after spending all day on the bus, we finally made it to our hotel (no air con + hot = sleeping on wet towels and in your undies people. Try it sometime). We only had time for a quick shower before dinner – this however turned into the most difficult showering experience to date; once Totti had finished, I made my way into the bathroom and ended up swimming to the sink. We didn’t actually have a showerhead – our shower was actually a bath with one of those hose things with a showerhead on the end. So anyway, I swam to the sink – I asked Totti if there was any particular reason she felt the need to flood our entire bathroom. Instead of pointing the hose towards the wall, it turns out she decided to shower with the hose pointing in the direction of the bathroom at large. Fail.
As we headed to dinner, the streets were already swarming with German soccer hooligans getting their pride on – trumpets, chanting, flags lots of face paint and cars with about ten people hanging out of them – it was pretty cool. Germany ended up winning and they celebrated well into the night.
At dinner Totti and I ordered a pork schnitzel (Yumo!!) and Filia and I decided to order a schteiner ( I have no idea if that’s the correct spelling, but it’s just what the Germans call this 1litre mug of beer) Inspired by the Beerfest film, Filia and I decided to have a sculling competition. Drunk before dinner anyone? So after downing one, we ordered another and went for round two. It was a pretty entertaining evening after that – we roamed around the streets of Berlin with a couple of the others from the tour group, for some reason I decided that steeling a fluffy orange dice from a street stall was a good idea.....as well as nicking flags from parked cars and using them to join in the German victory. The brick animals on the Zoo wall also became a hundred times for fascinating – they were three dimensional, therefore very interactive and interesting to touch when intoxicated. Filia also decided to jump into a nearby fountain – which upon inspection the next day turned out to be some war memorial. The dirty unimpressed looks from the previous night were suddenly explained :p) . And so we continued to wonder around – we ended up walking through a German fan zone with giant sprinklers and lots on interesting characters to talk to. We also decided to sing our own songs, as we had no idea what the Germans were chanting about. So the 80’s inspired much of the musical stylings for the evening, as well as the Backstreet Boys, Bon Jovi and the Spice Girls. I don’t think any of us can ever listen to those songs the same way again. So after passing by the life size lego giraffe outside lego land, and taking plenty of photos with him, we finally made it to our hotel and fell straight to sleep.
Day 50:
YAY, SLEEP IN!! All the keen beans opted to go on the walking tour this morning. We decided we’d rather sleep. I emerged tousle haired and puffy eyed, much to Totti’s amusement :p But we dressed, and decided that going to the Berlin Zoo would be an appropriate course of action for the day. Totti decided to get into the German spirit and started doing the Nazi salute and marched down the street. As hilarious as this was – it turns out that if anyone is caught doing this, or bearing the swastika symbol, they cop a ten year jail sentence. I think between the both of us we racked up a life sentence that day :s
So yay, the Berlin Zoo was amazing! It was a super hot day, so we strolled through the zoo happily licking icy poles in the shape of a hand pointing its index finger – delicious! We watched the monkeys and the giraffes, the elephants swimming in the pool, we saw polar bears and Zebras and all kinds of birds; one of which was about the size of a full grown man escaped out of its enclosure and decided to rampage through a crowd of people just as we were coming around the corner. I was in hysterics, the look of realisation on Totti’s face as she registered what she was seeing, then she took off in the opposite direction and did not return until the bird was back inside the enclosure :p how I laughed.
So after two more icy poles and a callipo, we finished waving at the animals and hailed a cab back to our hotel for some down time before our big night out – The Pub Crawl.
Since neither of us are big beer drinkers (yes, this may sound hypocritical after sculling 2 litres of beer) we decided to prepare some roadies to take with us – good old Vodka and vending machine coke. We were a little enthusiastic pouring our measures of vodka, so every time we took a sip of our drinks it literally burnt our face off. The group got driven into town on our tour bus, we sang and sipped our drinks and took photos of us. Photos of the bus. More photos of us. We then spotted a couple of helium balloons and decided that the wise thing to do would be to inhale them, and say things like “Nigga Please” and “Hola Miss Walker” – too funny. For some reason we decided that it was also a good idea for us to starting singing “MOVE, BITCH, GET OUT THA WAY” in our finest impersonation of Ludacris. Because our timing is impeccable as always, we sang this just as some stupid woman decided to walk out in front of our bus – we feel we did a good job that day, everyone was wetting themselves laughing.
We met up with our pub crawl guide – he administered us with a stamp and our free beer and we all hung around waiting for people to drink up before heading to our first destination. There were a couple of homeless guys we donated all our empty bottles to – I was even kind enough to leave him a swig of beer :p Totti politely asked if she could sit in his trolley purely for photographic entertainment – the photo looks as though she’s severely constipated and trying to go to the toilet in his basket. We were then joined by another tour group, whom harboured a man with the biggest ranga beard in existence – by this stage we were well on our way to being drunk, and Totti said (probably more audibly than intended) “It’s HAIRY FACE MAN” – he heard, obviously and retorted “And you shall be known as, small yummy thing”. So now that we were all on a first name basis, we stole his sun glasses and took really cool photos of ourselves.
We noted that on this particular evening, everyone was feeling rather athletic – because it’s what we do, we decided it would be a good idea to attempt heel clicking while in mid air – so then everyone jumped on the bandwagon – trying to do double and even triple heel clicks. When we got to the pub, there was a nice grassy area perfect for more athleticism displays and ghosting complete strangers. One guy caught on and turned around while Totti was in mid- ghost. Too funny!! So more heel click attempts resulted in split pants, revealing electric blue undies and the best photo ever! (go me) lol.
The bartenders sent our free shots, we did jager bombs and had a couple of rum and cokes, Totti almost got taken out by a leap frog attempt gone wrong, and it was time to move onto Pub #2. The night was filled with ridiculous photos and lots of drinking (yes, we are skipping the details, because we can’t remember them :p) we ended up at this beach club with fire twirlers and more drinks – and before we knew it, it was time to go home.
By this stage we’d worked up quite an appetite, after what felt like the LONGEST bus ride home in history, our entire tour group stopped home via a kebab stand (AMAZING) and we fed our faces while watching some poor bugger crash his push bike into a light post. So with kebabs in hand we all made our way to the hotel and turned in for the night.
Day 51:
FML, well eff our lives. Totti woke up to a half eaten kebab on her bed side table and I dragged myself into the shower. A super early start after a big night – needless to say it took us a while to get going. Much to our surprise (we say this because we are ALWAYS the last ones to be ready lol) we were the first downstairs and at breakfast.
The bus ride was rather entertaining, everyone exchanging stories and looking at each other’s cameras. Eventually we were all dropping off like flies, dozing off and trying to catch some desperately needed z’s.
It became long tedious bus ride – everyone was just keen to get off and walk around. We stopped briefly at a dairy farm where they made all these different kinds of cheeses – Totti was the first to raise her hand when the group was asked if anyone wanted to try some. Lol. She’s died and gone to cheese heaven twice now. They also made their own clogs, we got a demonstration on how to make them by the farm owner, there are now only 5 clog makers in all of Holland, and he was one of them. And so it was back on the bus – we’d almost made it to Amsterdam.
We made it to our very classy “Botel” a hotel that’s a boat, funnily enough. We thought it was funny, so we created an anthem “We at the ho-tel, bo-tel, holiday iiiiinnnn”. Anyone? No?.
We didn’t have much time to get ready (as usual) as our bus was banked up in traffic for quite a while, so we rushed onto the ferry that took us into the main city centre. As we got closer to the Red light district, things started to get...erm....interesting, for lack of a better word. We had all paid to go and see a sex show on our first night, and thank god we did it as a group!
Now...we both knew Amsterdam wasn’t for the faint hearted – and we had been warn that it was the capital of sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll but HOLY SHIT it was NASTY. The sex show was made up of 5 acts. Some of you may want to skip this paragraph....The first act was a girl (prob only 19/20) out on stage dancing...well stripping really. She walked through the crowd and would lean over people and slap them in the face with her nasty breasts. She then proceeded to get one gentleman (from the other Topdeck Tour) on stage and lay him down on the stage. Next thing we know, she has a dildo up her hoo-ha – not a normal dildo, this one was a PEN. She wrote “bad boy” and drew a picture of a penis on this guys stomach. We were in hysterics but also grossed out....little did we know that it was going to get worse. The next act was a fattish lady who stripped and slapped boys with her boobs (seemed to be the running performance for the night).
The next act was the first lady and a feral man. The man (who was effing old and nasty) only had one boob...that’s right....just one! We watched them go at it for a good 10 minutes. Totti was completely disgusted because the guy kept on eyeing her off (we were in the front row) and everyone in our group kept giving her shit. It was REALLY foul! The next act required a volunteer – who better than Owen from our tour. He was sat on a seat on stage and a naked lady begun dancing around him. She then started pulling out this LONG bit of ribbon from her hoo-ha and putting it around him and all over his head. It was hilarious but SO nasty. Apparently he was told while on stage that the ribbon comes from a packet and is actually really clean...we beg to differ!
The last act was an oldish latino lady who was just dancing at first. She then asked people to come up on stage – there were about 7 people – 3 of whom were from our tour. She danced with them all....and then....oh my! LOL! She went into her bag of goodies and pulled out a BANANA. Fillia was up first – the lady put the nana in her hoo-ha and made Fillia take a bite. EW! Steph M was next – she had to eat the nana of the ladies boozy and Steph V got the easy task of eating the nana from the ladies belly. All in all...it was hilarious. Needless to say we all sanitised our hands when we left the bar!
We then enjoyed the finer things of Amsterdam....space cakes and joints!
Day 52:
Today we did our bike tour of Amsterdam. They do like their bikes, there are approximately 500,000 bikes in Amsterdam, 200,000 of which end up in the canals annually. There wasn’t anything specific to see – it was just a really fun and cruisy morning taking in the city and enjoying being in amongst the people. We stopped b y the ‘I Amsterdam’ sign and took some group photos etc.
After that we had to do some housekeeping, so we found a Laundromat and did our washing, finally! Something as simple as having clean undies goes such a long way when you’re travelling. We really should thank our mums more often for having fresh fluffy knickers ready for us all the time when we are at home :p
After that we were well hungry so we decided to go find some food and made our way to another one of Swenson’s Sweet Spots – a little store called Trunk. It’s got lots of little bracelets and leather goods, but more importantly we went for the bags – they make bags out of old shirts and different bits of clothes. Totti bought a cute checked Lacoste shirt/bag – which shall now be coined ‘Shag’.
As tonight is the last night with the tour group – we all paid to go on a canal cruise after our dinner at the Asian Palace. After that we made our way onto one of the bar boats and just spent the night taking photos and enjoying watching all the Netherlands supporters in the streets. Again we were lucky enough to be in the town of a winning team, however we were pooped and decided to go home via the yummiest soup kitchen, sweet potato soup anyone?
Ni night Amsterdam :)
Day 53:
FML. 7:30am departure from Amsterdam – we really hate mornings! Our destination...Belgium. We knew we were getting close when we stopped at a service station. On approaching the counter, we noticed the check-out chicks name....FRAU. We pissed ourselves laughing all the way back to the bus and were quick to spread the word about Frau!
Only a short drive and we were soon introduced to Brugge...yes that’s right...Dr Evil was a orphan boy from a 15yr old sex slave from Brugge – that’s where’s Daddy’s from. LOL. We were quoting him the whole time.
Brugge was really beautiful – the town square was full of markets with fresh fruit, cooked chickens and of course...WAFFLES! We decided we didn’t really need to see another church so we headed for the food. First stop, chicken. Second stop, chips with mayonnaise (a Belgian treat) and for dessert a massive Belgian waffle with whipped cream. We also bought some magical fresh strawberries. Ah....we had landed in food heaven.
We could barely walk back to the bus...so we rolled!
We caught the ferry from Calais to London and another bus ride took us into central London. We then said our farewells to our tour family and caught the tram to our hostel.
We’ve had an awesome 14 day trip – a big shout out to our awesome tour guide Adam who informed us that it we had popped his tour cherry...and to all our tour buddies – we will miss the laughs...stay in touch bitches!
Say hi to your farsha....FA-THER.
Ela & Kate xoxo
Friday, July 9, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
New York, New York!
Day 31:
Another super early start – 5.30am in the humid Miami heat + tired + hungry as nothing is open for breakfast = fail. We dragged our stuff to the street and waited for our taxi to the airport – luckily for us, he played ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’ in Spanish, and we sang along in English. He was mighty impressed with our bi-lingual abilities, “You know Spanish? Or you like this song?” and so with the sounds of 80’s pop at 6am in the morning to raise our spirits, we said goodbye to Miami and boarded our flight to New York.
Luckily the flight was relatively short, so we landed at around lunch time. The cab ride into the city took ages though – we were banked up in traffic for roughly 1.5hrs – usually this would frustrate us, but we felt it was more typical of NYC (yes, we said NYC – it’s easier than typing the whole thing every time we want to refer to it, it’s 2010, acronyms are all the rage) to have traffic jams and lots of honking, so we took it on board and felt that it enhanced our first taste of the Big Apple. This how ever wore off, as does every novelty when you need to pee like a pregnant woman and have to hold it for longer than 2hrs.
FINALLY we made it into downtown Manhattan and onto 5th ave – where our hotel was. We stayed at the lotus, a half hotel, half hostel place – you have your own NYC style apartment with a private room to sleep in, but share a kitchen and a bathroom. So we dumped our stuff and tried to conquer our first mission: food. That didn’t take long, we made it to the corner of the street and found a cafe that served everything from pasta to sandwiches, so we opted for the pasta which was cooked fresh for us on the spot and inhaled it. So with a full tummy and an entire city to explore, off we went to destination 1: times square. Times Square was by far the most chaotic place we had seen yet – literally droves and droves of people coming from all directions, in combination with the billboards and the lights and the taxis made it very congested. It was pretty overwhelming, but in a good way. Everyone was so busy and rushing around – it would be so easy to just lose yourself and become a complete stranger in a city like this.
We decided we’d take a look in the Toys ‘R’ Us – average you say? We think not. It was the most amazing toys r us ever – FERRIS WHEEL IN THE LOBBY! A bit cool. You get your photo taken at the door – it was difficult to wipe the stupid grins off our faces – clearly toy stores are just as cool as they were when you were 5. So we continued to be impressed – a life size t-Rex robot from Jurassic park, a life size spider man, a superman holding up a semi trailer, the BARBIE mansion, empire state building and the statue of liberty made out of Lego- all of these on the main floor. Yes, there were three floors, one entire floor was devoted to the Toys ‘R’ Us candy shop :p
We decided we had to go and see a Broadway show – and we think everyone else should, if they get the chance. We couldn’t decide what to see, the selection was huge: The Adams Family, West Side Story, The Lion King, Chicago, Jersey Boys, Wicked, Mamma Mia! and so much more. Our decision was made for us when a double decker bus pulled up next to us on the sidewalk: Mary Poppins. We got a great deal – if you ever want to see a Broadway show, go directly to the box office to get tickets, we got a private balcony seat for $30 each. The show surpassed all expectations, it was absolutely friggan awesome – and everyone was into it – even the adults were singing along...Super –cala- frigil-istic expi-alidocious. Lol. But well worth it. So we wandered back to our apartment via times square and made it through our first NYC day without being mugged, shot or run over - a big thumbs up all round :p
Day 32:
We would just like to point out that we have reached our 1 month travel anniversary, as today is now the 17th of June. We are already having trouble recalling what we did in San Fran – it seems like so long ago. So we had a little moment, as we can’t believe it’s already been that long, and gone by so quickly. We feel it is a rather big achievement :)
We give a quick shout out to Amy Williams and she provided us with the lonely planet guide to New York which has been most valuable during our visit to the big apple – thanks lady!
After reading the Bible (in actual fact it was Totti’s trusty lonely planet guide) I have discovered she harbours many basic animalistic instincts, her moods are often determined by how well fed and slept she is. And so she was quick to identify a “vital” and MUST see destination; I was expecting some monument dedicated to an old dead guy who has made a significant contribution to world history – but alas it was in fact a shop was called Zabar’s. It turned out that this MUST SEE place was four shops long, filled with delicious treats and delectable items from all around the world. So we made our way to the Upper West Side, a stroll turned into....................................... 3 hours later: – we reached the Upper West Side and couldn’t miss Zabar’s. We started in the ‘cheese’ shop – this shop contained cheeses from all over the world. Totti’s eyes popped out of her head when she saw the variety of cheeses – she died and went to cheese heaven! The next shop was like a deli and contained a whole heap of yummy hams, salamis, chicken etc. Ah....it was truly amazing! The next shop was full of bread – anything from a freshly baked bagel to baguettes. This shop also had delicious cookies, donuts etc. The last shop was a coffee/tea/more cookies/fruit and everything else that didn’t fit in the other three stops! We bought some cheese, blueberry cream cheese, ranch dressing, carrots and celery, choc chip cookies, biscuits, bagels, olives and a bar of Belgian milk chocolate....ahh... Now it was time to eat – so we quickly (prac tically ran) back to Central Park and enjoyed the afternoon in the sun scoffing our faces with deliciousness!
We then witnessed two fat ladies waddling back to the city....wait....that was our reflection! Ha. We got half way and decided our body wasn’t handling the cheese too well, so in true Aussie fashion we got half way, decided it was too hard, and hailed a taxi back to our apartment. After a quick shower, it was time to jump onto the subway and head to the Bronx....completely safe and a nice place to hang out, yo. Relax Mum...we were on our way to Yankee Stadium, which is in the Bronx – go figure!
So we had no idea wtf was going on – we yelled “yaaaayy” at the wrong time, with our novelty hands held high. We received many disapproving looks from the hardcore Yankee fans :p So we decided to get all traditional and buy a hot dog at the game. They even had those guys that walk through the stands yelling “HOT DOGS! GET YOUR HOT DOGS!” we had a small giggle. 4 hrs later and the Yankees had several disappointed fans – they’d lost to the Phillies. Either way, we still had a great time – Yankee Stadium is spectacular, it houses 45,000 spectators, has state of the art sound systems and really great hot dogs :p
The train ride home was rather entertaining – we had a little boy in our carriage that thought it was hilarious when he made fart sounds under his armpit. We encouraged him. It was hilarious. That is all. Yes, we are mature 24 year olds travelling the world on our own – it was still funny. So after an action packed day, we were ready to pass out. That’s what we did.
Day 33, 34 & 35:
After consulting our trusty travel book, we decided it would be a good idea to oblige one of the sales people on the street corner and purchase a Hop on Hop off bus ticket, the city is so big and there is so much to see. These tours are a great idea and well worth the money – you get a comprehensive run down of the city’s history narrated to you by a local tour guide, while driving around on a double decker bus. You can get off where ever you like, and get back on at any time – the buses are literally there every 5 minutes. We got the $54 ticket which pretty much covers all of NYC, and the ticket was valid for 2 and a ½ days. We went to ground zero, China Town and Little Italy. We got off in each of these stops. Ground Zero is overwhelming – we finally got to see how much ground the twin towers physically occupied, and what is more amazing is that they are just laying the foundations for the new structure now, almost ten years later. From there we went to Big Wong’s Chinese restaurant in China Town for a cheap but delicious feed – (The Book told us to) and headed into Little Italy for some Gelato and a stroll into some authentic Italian looking streets.
We caught the Staten Island ferry (a free service which anyone can take). The ferry takes you directly past the Statue of Liberty – a 15minutes each way. We bought some I <3 NY t-shirts and a hoodie and decided to purchase some Comedy show tickets to entertain us for the night.
The Comedy tickets we bought were valid for 3 nights so we got to see a lot of funny people. When we walked in the comedian was talking about the I <3 NY t-shirts. He was saying that the only people that wear the t-shirts are tourists and that’s why they are so cheap, you can buy 10 for $5. He said the t-shirts scream “I’m carrying travellers checks – come and mug me” – at that moment we looked down at our newly purchased I <3 NY t-shirts in shame as everyone in the club was in hysterics!
Another funny joke was when the comedian was talking about texting and how kids these days are so absorbed in their technology that in 10 years time people will approach children and say “Hello, how are you?” only to be replied with a “hsssss” (Imagine an angry cat noise). We thought it was funny – guess you had to be there!
The next day we did the Brooklyn loop which took us over the Brooklyn bridge and into Brooklyn. As it had become custom to consult our trusty book for tips on what to see – we opted to suss out something to eat first (surprise :p). We got off at Water St - the book said there was an amazing pizza shop there. We were quick to find the popular eatery – it was the one with the 30 people long line outside a rectangular shop no bigger than our bedrooms back home. We decided that the people in the shop were getting slightly weirded out by Totti and I fogging up their windows and salivating while watching them eat, so we went next door to a little pub instead. We were super keen to find Jacque Torres chocolate shop, so after lunch we located it and restrained ourselves into buying only a few bits of chocolaty goodness. On the way back we decided to walk over the Brooklyn Bridge – we’d recommend everyone do it if they get the chance – the view of the city, the bridge and the river is pretty cool – and for photography geeks like me, is perfect for taking countless photos of the same thing :p
Once we got back we decided we’d use another ticket to a comedy show, so we showered and dressed and made out way to the comedy club.
The next day we did the Upper loop – this took us past a couple of famous attractions like the Julliard School of Arts, Museum mile, and showed us a bunch of old mansions and buildings built in commemoration to some famous dead people :p forgive the lack of detail but we were pretty much sun stroke and delirious by this stage.
After that loop, we went to the Rockefeller Centre and went to the “top of the rock” to see the view of NY. Took lots of photos and decided to retire for the night....via Dunkin Donuts! We recommend the view from Rockefeller because it’s less crowded than the Empire State (well we assume) and you can actually see the Empire State so your photos are more complete.
Day 37:
We left our lovely hotel room and said goodbye to our friendly hotel staff and headed for the Port Authority to catch the bus to Worchester, Connecticut – the Swenson’s. Our bus was rather packed and stank of stale pee. The ride to Hartford, Pennyslvania was about 4 hours and then another 1hr to Worchester. We were greeted by the friendly Cheryl Swenson (Sarah’s MOM) and off we went to Woodstock, Kentucky. So...we’d been in 4 states in one day – New York, Pennyslvania, Connecticut and Kentucky! Woo! (Now I don’t know if these places are right – I’m going off what Totti has dictated, Swenson, perhaps you can clarify :p)
We arrived at the Swenson’s house in the countryside – there were plenty of rolling green hills and old style looking farmhouses – we were so delighted to be reunited with fresh air and silence, we sat outside for a while and took in the amazing scenery – how’s the serenity!
We were extra excited knowing we were going to have a home cooked meal for the next couple of days. We sat down with Cheryl and enjoyed some cheese and crackers and waited for Dana to return from his camping trip. Dana then cooked the most amazing steak on his new toy – the Weber No.2. It was sort of nice to be able to sit down at a proper dinner table and have people fuss over you, mum’s back home, despite our whinging, we do actually appreciate it :p
So after a great dinner we sat in the lounge room with Dana and he talked us through the baseball game being played on the television. Now that the rules have been explained properly it makes a lot more sense. We were also able to have a good cup of tea – FINALLY! And Totti busted out the vegemite and explained the finer details of how this spread should be consumed. Well tired by now, we decided it was time to get some shut eye – much to our delight the bed was extremely comfortable and we passed right out :)
Day 38:
We got up and showered and made our way down to breakfast – again so nice to have some fresh fruit and cereal! Cheryl drove is into Boston and left us to our own devices, so we decided to take the advice from Swenson’s little To Do list and bought tickets for the duck tour. We got stuck in a group full of fourth graders on a school excursion, we were totally the coolest kids on the bus once we told them we were from Australia :p So that took up about 1.5hrs – we just got driven around Boston and got an overview of the town history. After the duck tour we went into the Imac store, we will have you know that they provide superb lavatory facilities and free wifi :p But we had to go in there because Totti needed to get a new phone – her old one had been having epileptic spasms and kept coming up with error messages, so she had to replace it. She was most devastated when she was informed that she would lose all her music (I secretly relished this, as I can only handle the Dixie chicks in small doses :p)
So after that we headed to the north end – it is a predominantly Italian area of Boston and we were keen for a good feed. So we found a small cafe on the corner and got ourselves a bowl of pasta each, and went in search of Maria’s pastry’s for a couple of fresh Cannoli. I have to say, she’d give my auntie a run for her money – the pastry was superb and the filling was as fresh as you can get – it was put into the Cannoli on order.
So with a mouthful of delicious cannoli goodness, we made our way to the train station and caught the train into riverside where we were to be picked up by Cheryl who informed us we would be having homemade ham burgers for dinner and then strawberries for dessert. Yumo! After dinner we introduced Cheryl to our new favourite pastime – the grand game of Shit Head (great for killing a lot of time while waiting in airports, or great to play on long bus trips) I think I have only beaten Totti like 3 times at this grand card game, she’s fairly ruthless, there’s only so many times you can lose at cards until it starts to hurt your feelings :p But it was a hit – Cheryl and Dana loved it, and we were introduced to one of their favourites called Up Stairs, Down Stairs – simple but a lot of good fun. So we whiled away the evening playing a couple of rounds of each game, then headed to sleep – we were gearing up for a big 48hrs of travel.
Day 39:
We started the day with homemade pancakes which were friggan amazing, so after we finished feeding our faces it was time to say goodbye to the Serenity and head to the bus station, back to NYC and catch our plane to Rome via London. The bus trip went quickly enough – luckily the bus was equipped with wifi – so we downloaded this application on our iphones called ‘words with friends’ – its pretty much like scrabble on your iphone. It is the coolest game ever ! It entertained us greatly, I guess you had to be there lol. Totti also downloaded a ‘Step Brothers’ quote application – occasionally I get lovely insults played to me when she can’t be bothered doing it herself haha.
So we made it to NYC and hailed a cab for JFK airport. Things just seemed to get worse from there – there was a huge storm and we ended up sitting in an aeroplane traffic jam on the run way for THREE ENTIRE HOURS! It was tedious to say the least. We were most fortunate to have a woman in front of us coughing her lungs out for the entire time. It sounded like she was unleashing swine flu onto us – so Totti proceeded to pull our her trusty bottle of sanitiser and literally sanitised the back of the woman’s seat.....and the wall....and her own face. I then took the sanitiser and squirted it in the shape of a crucifix to ensure divine intervention would save us from the swine flu. By this stage we were both in stitches – we have a running joke with sanitiser; at first I used to pay Totti out about carrying it everywhere, but then in Brooklyn I came across little sanitiser holders that you clip onto your bag and I now have one dangling off my bag. Go figure. ANYWAY, so in addition to being stuck in a storm on the run way with a swine ridden woman, there was a gentleman who smelled like he’d neglected to bathe for about a century. It. Was. Fal. So we sanitised in his direction also. So after surviving the coughing fits and the stink, we FINALLY got clearance to take off.
The next couple of days were sort of mushed together, so we feel that this entry is to be continued........
Say hi to your dad for us,
Love Ela & Kate xxxx
Another super early start – 5.30am in the humid Miami heat + tired + hungry as nothing is open for breakfast = fail. We dragged our stuff to the street and waited for our taxi to the airport – luckily for us, he played ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’ in Spanish, and we sang along in English. He was mighty impressed with our bi-lingual abilities, “You know Spanish? Or you like this song?” and so with the sounds of 80’s pop at 6am in the morning to raise our spirits, we said goodbye to Miami and boarded our flight to New York.
Luckily the flight was relatively short, so we landed at around lunch time. The cab ride into the city took ages though – we were banked up in traffic for roughly 1.5hrs – usually this would frustrate us, but we felt it was more typical of NYC (yes, we said NYC – it’s easier than typing the whole thing every time we want to refer to it, it’s 2010, acronyms are all the rage) to have traffic jams and lots of honking, so we took it on board and felt that it enhanced our first taste of the Big Apple. This how ever wore off, as does every novelty when you need to pee like a pregnant woman and have to hold it for longer than 2hrs.
FINALLY we made it into downtown Manhattan and onto 5th ave – where our hotel was. We stayed at the lotus, a half hotel, half hostel place – you have your own NYC style apartment with a private room to sleep in, but share a kitchen and a bathroom. So we dumped our stuff and tried to conquer our first mission: food. That didn’t take long, we made it to the corner of the street and found a cafe that served everything from pasta to sandwiches, so we opted for the pasta which was cooked fresh for us on the spot and inhaled it. So with a full tummy and an entire city to explore, off we went to destination 1: times square. Times Square was by far the most chaotic place we had seen yet – literally droves and droves of people coming from all directions, in combination with the billboards and the lights and the taxis made it very congested. It was pretty overwhelming, but in a good way. Everyone was so busy and rushing around – it would be so easy to just lose yourself and become a complete stranger in a city like this.
We decided we’d take a look in the Toys ‘R’ Us – average you say? We think not. It was the most amazing toys r us ever – FERRIS WHEEL IN THE LOBBY! A bit cool. You get your photo taken at the door – it was difficult to wipe the stupid grins off our faces – clearly toy stores are just as cool as they were when you were 5. So we continued to be impressed – a life size t-Rex robot from Jurassic park, a life size spider man, a superman holding up a semi trailer, the BARBIE mansion, empire state building and the statue of liberty made out of Lego- all of these on the main floor. Yes, there were three floors, one entire floor was devoted to the Toys ‘R’ Us candy shop :p
We decided we had to go and see a Broadway show – and we think everyone else should, if they get the chance. We couldn’t decide what to see, the selection was huge: The Adams Family, West Side Story, The Lion King, Chicago, Jersey Boys, Wicked, Mamma Mia! and so much more. Our decision was made for us when a double decker bus pulled up next to us on the sidewalk: Mary Poppins. We got a great deal – if you ever want to see a Broadway show, go directly to the box office to get tickets, we got a private balcony seat for $30 each. The show surpassed all expectations, it was absolutely friggan awesome – and everyone was into it – even the adults were singing along...Super –cala- frigil-istic expi-alidocious. Lol. But well worth it. So we wandered back to our apartment via times square and made it through our first NYC day without being mugged, shot or run over - a big thumbs up all round :p
Day 32:
We would just like to point out that we have reached our 1 month travel anniversary, as today is now the 17th of June. We are already having trouble recalling what we did in San Fran – it seems like so long ago. So we had a little moment, as we can’t believe it’s already been that long, and gone by so quickly. We feel it is a rather big achievement :)
We give a quick shout out to Amy Williams and she provided us with the lonely planet guide to New York which has been most valuable during our visit to the big apple – thanks lady!
After reading the Bible (in actual fact it was Totti’s trusty lonely planet guide) I have discovered she harbours many basic animalistic instincts, her moods are often determined by how well fed and slept she is. And so she was quick to identify a “vital” and MUST see destination; I was expecting some monument dedicated to an old dead guy who has made a significant contribution to world history – but alas it was in fact a shop was called Zabar’s. It turned out that this MUST SEE place was four shops long, filled with delicious treats and delectable items from all around the world. So we made our way to the Upper West Side, a stroll turned into....................................... 3 hours later: – we reached the Upper West Side and couldn’t miss Zabar’s. We started in the ‘cheese’ shop – this shop contained cheeses from all over the world. Totti’s eyes popped out of her head when she saw the variety of cheeses – she died and went to cheese heaven! The next shop was like a deli and contained a whole heap of yummy hams, salamis, chicken etc. Ah....it was truly amazing! The next shop was full of bread – anything from a freshly baked bagel to baguettes. This shop also had delicious cookies, donuts etc. The last shop was a coffee/tea/more cookies/fruit and everything else that didn’t fit in the other three stops! We bought some cheese, blueberry cream cheese, ranch dressing, carrots and celery, choc chip cookies, biscuits, bagels, olives and a bar of Belgian milk chocolate....ahh... Now it was time to eat – so we quickly (prac tically ran) back to Central Park and enjoyed the afternoon in the sun scoffing our faces with deliciousness!
We then witnessed two fat ladies waddling back to the city....wait....that was our reflection! Ha. We got half way and decided our body wasn’t handling the cheese too well, so in true Aussie fashion we got half way, decided it was too hard, and hailed a taxi back to our apartment. After a quick shower, it was time to jump onto the subway and head to the Bronx....completely safe and a nice place to hang out, yo. Relax Mum...we were on our way to Yankee Stadium, which is in the Bronx – go figure!
So we had no idea wtf was going on – we yelled “yaaaayy” at the wrong time, with our novelty hands held high. We received many disapproving looks from the hardcore Yankee fans :p So we decided to get all traditional and buy a hot dog at the game. They even had those guys that walk through the stands yelling “HOT DOGS! GET YOUR HOT DOGS!” we had a small giggle. 4 hrs later and the Yankees had several disappointed fans – they’d lost to the Phillies. Either way, we still had a great time – Yankee Stadium is spectacular, it houses 45,000 spectators, has state of the art sound systems and really great hot dogs :p
The train ride home was rather entertaining – we had a little boy in our carriage that thought it was hilarious when he made fart sounds under his armpit. We encouraged him. It was hilarious. That is all. Yes, we are mature 24 year olds travelling the world on our own – it was still funny. So after an action packed day, we were ready to pass out. That’s what we did.
Day 33, 34 & 35:
After consulting our trusty travel book, we decided it would be a good idea to oblige one of the sales people on the street corner and purchase a Hop on Hop off bus ticket, the city is so big and there is so much to see. These tours are a great idea and well worth the money – you get a comprehensive run down of the city’s history narrated to you by a local tour guide, while driving around on a double decker bus. You can get off where ever you like, and get back on at any time – the buses are literally there every 5 minutes. We got the $54 ticket which pretty much covers all of NYC, and the ticket was valid for 2 and a ½ days. We went to ground zero, China Town and Little Italy. We got off in each of these stops. Ground Zero is overwhelming – we finally got to see how much ground the twin towers physically occupied, and what is more amazing is that they are just laying the foundations for the new structure now, almost ten years later. From there we went to Big Wong’s Chinese restaurant in China Town for a cheap but delicious feed – (The Book told us to) and headed into Little Italy for some Gelato and a stroll into some authentic Italian looking streets.
We caught the Staten Island ferry (a free service which anyone can take). The ferry takes you directly past the Statue of Liberty – a 15minutes each way. We bought some I <3 NY t-shirts and a hoodie and decided to purchase some Comedy show tickets to entertain us for the night.
The Comedy tickets we bought were valid for 3 nights so we got to see a lot of funny people. When we walked in the comedian was talking about the I <3 NY t-shirts. He was saying that the only people that wear the t-shirts are tourists and that’s why they are so cheap, you can buy 10 for $5. He said the t-shirts scream “I’m carrying travellers checks – come and mug me” – at that moment we looked down at our newly purchased I <3 NY t-shirts in shame as everyone in the club was in hysterics!
Another funny joke was when the comedian was talking about texting and how kids these days are so absorbed in their technology that in 10 years time people will approach children and say “Hello, how are you?” only to be replied with a “hsssss” (Imagine an angry cat noise). We thought it was funny – guess you had to be there!
The next day we did the Brooklyn loop which took us over the Brooklyn bridge and into Brooklyn. As it had become custom to consult our trusty book for tips on what to see – we opted to suss out something to eat first (surprise :p). We got off at Water St - the book said there was an amazing pizza shop there. We were quick to find the popular eatery – it was the one with the 30 people long line outside a rectangular shop no bigger than our bedrooms back home. We decided that the people in the shop were getting slightly weirded out by Totti and I fogging up their windows and salivating while watching them eat, so we went next door to a little pub instead. We were super keen to find Jacque Torres chocolate shop, so after lunch we located it and restrained ourselves into buying only a few bits of chocolaty goodness. On the way back we decided to walk over the Brooklyn Bridge – we’d recommend everyone do it if they get the chance – the view of the city, the bridge and the river is pretty cool – and for photography geeks like me, is perfect for taking countless photos of the same thing :p
Once we got back we decided we’d use another ticket to a comedy show, so we showered and dressed and made out way to the comedy club.
The next day we did the Upper loop – this took us past a couple of famous attractions like the Julliard School of Arts, Museum mile, and showed us a bunch of old mansions and buildings built in commemoration to some famous dead people :p forgive the lack of detail but we were pretty much sun stroke and delirious by this stage.
After that loop, we went to the Rockefeller Centre and went to the “top of the rock” to see the view of NY. Took lots of photos and decided to retire for the night....via Dunkin Donuts! We recommend the view from Rockefeller because it’s less crowded than the Empire State (well we assume) and you can actually see the Empire State so your photos are more complete.
Day 37:
We left our lovely hotel room and said goodbye to our friendly hotel staff and headed for the Port Authority to catch the bus to Worchester, Connecticut – the Swenson’s. Our bus was rather packed and stank of stale pee. The ride to Hartford, Pennyslvania was about 4 hours and then another 1hr to Worchester. We were greeted by the friendly Cheryl Swenson (Sarah’s MOM) and off we went to Woodstock, Kentucky. So...we’d been in 4 states in one day – New York, Pennyslvania, Connecticut and Kentucky! Woo! (Now I don’t know if these places are right – I’m going off what Totti has dictated, Swenson, perhaps you can clarify :p)
We arrived at the Swenson’s house in the countryside – there were plenty of rolling green hills and old style looking farmhouses – we were so delighted to be reunited with fresh air and silence, we sat outside for a while and took in the amazing scenery – how’s the serenity!
We were extra excited knowing we were going to have a home cooked meal for the next couple of days. We sat down with Cheryl and enjoyed some cheese and crackers and waited for Dana to return from his camping trip. Dana then cooked the most amazing steak on his new toy – the Weber No.2. It was sort of nice to be able to sit down at a proper dinner table and have people fuss over you, mum’s back home, despite our whinging, we do actually appreciate it :p
So after a great dinner we sat in the lounge room with Dana and he talked us through the baseball game being played on the television. Now that the rules have been explained properly it makes a lot more sense. We were also able to have a good cup of tea – FINALLY! And Totti busted out the vegemite and explained the finer details of how this spread should be consumed. Well tired by now, we decided it was time to get some shut eye – much to our delight the bed was extremely comfortable and we passed right out :)
Day 38:
We got up and showered and made our way down to breakfast – again so nice to have some fresh fruit and cereal! Cheryl drove is into Boston and left us to our own devices, so we decided to take the advice from Swenson’s little To Do list and bought tickets for the duck tour. We got stuck in a group full of fourth graders on a school excursion, we were totally the coolest kids on the bus once we told them we were from Australia :p So that took up about 1.5hrs – we just got driven around Boston and got an overview of the town history. After the duck tour we went into the Imac store, we will have you know that they provide superb lavatory facilities and free wifi :p But we had to go in there because Totti needed to get a new phone – her old one had been having epileptic spasms and kept coming up with error messages, so she had to replace it. She was most devastated when she was informed that she would lose all her music (I secretly relished this, as I can only handle the Dixie chicks in small doses :p)
So after that we headed to the north end – it is a predominantly Italian area of Boston and we were keen for a good feed. So we found a small cafe on the corner and got ourselves a bowl of pasta each, and went in search of Maria’s pastry’s for a couple of fresh Cannoli. I have to say, she’d give my auntie a run for her money – the pastry was superb and the filling was as fresh as you can get – it was put into the Cannoli on order.
So with a mouthful of delicious cannoli goodness, we made our way to the train station and caught the train into riverside where we were to be picked up by Cheryl who informed us we would be having homemade ham burgers for dinner and then strawberries for dessert. Yumo! After dinner we introduced Cheryl to our new favourite pastime – the grand game of Shit Head (great for killing a lot of time while waiting in airports, or great to play on long bus trips) I think I have only beaten Totti like 3 times at this grand card game, she’s fairly ruthless, there’s only so many times you can lose at cards until it starts to hurt your feelings :p But it was a hit – Cheryl and Dana loved it, and we were introduced to one of their favourites called Up Stairs, Down Stairs – simple but a lot of good fun. So we whiled away the evening playing a couple of rounds of each game, then headed to sleep – we were gearing up for a big 48hrs of travel.
Day 39:
We started the day with homemade pancakes which were friggan amazing, so after we finished feeding our faces it was time to say goodbye to the Serenity and head to the bus station, back to NYC and catch our plane to Rome via London. The bus trip went quickly enough – luckily the bus was equipped with wifi – so we downloaded this application on our iphones called ‘words with friends’ – its pretty much like scrabble on your iphone. It is the coolest game ever ! It entertained us greatly, I guess you had to be there lol. Totti also downloaded a ‘Step Brothers’ quote application – occasionally I get lovely insults played to me when she can’t be bothered doing it herself haha.
So we made it to NYC and hailed a cab for JFK airport. Things just seemed to get worse from there – there was a huge storm and we ended up sitting in an aeroplane traffic jam on the run way for THREE ENTIRE HOURS! It was tedious to say the least. We were most fortunate to have a woman in front of us coughing her lungs out for the entire time. It sounded like she was unleashing swine flu onto us – so Totti proceeded to pull our her trusty bottle of sanitiser and literally sanitised the back of the woman’s seat.....and the wall....and her own face. I then took the sanitiser and squirted it in the shape of a crucifix to ensure divine intervention would save us from the swine flu. By this stage we were both in stitches – we have a running joke with sanitiser; at first I used to pay Totti out about carrying it everywhere, but then in Brooklyn I came across little sanitiser holders that you clip onto your bag and I now have one dangling off my bag. Go figure. ANYWAY, so in addition to being stuck in a storm on the run way with a swine ridden woman, there was a gentleman who smelled like he’d neglected to bathe for about a century. It. Was. Fal. So we sanitised in his direction also. So after surviving the coughing fits and the stink, we FINALLY got clearance to take off.
The next couple of days were sort of mushed together, so we feel that this entry is to be continued........
Say hi to your dad for us,
Love Ela & Kate xxxx
Monday, June 21, 2010
Enough whinging...
Its finally here - yes, thats right - we have risen from our lazy tourist chairs and uploaded some amazing images for your perusal - in case your the type of person who prefers visual aids to go with our intellectual material (coughmumcoughdadcoughswenson)!
From now on - if we update the blog, we will endeavour to put a couple of photos up on our photobucket! Yay - I can hear you cheering from here.
So add it to your favourites peeps because we may not mention this link again...here it is...ready....
http://s179.photobucket.com/home/ElaC10/allalbums
Peace out for now
Say hi to your papa
Ela & Kate xoxo
From now on - if we update the blog, we will endeavour to put a couple of photos up on our photobucket! Yay - I can hear you cheering from here.
So add it to your favourites peeps because we may not mention this link again...here it is...ready....
http://s179.photobucket.com/home/ElaC10/allalbums
Peace out for now
Say hi to your papa
Ela & Kate xoxo
Miami
Day 28
We docked back in Miami port at around 7:30am – another sparrows fart wake up call as we had breakfast in bed, yes it’s a hard life :p Since we were efficient and pre-packed our bags the night before, we promptly left our cabin, said goodbye to the Carnival Liberty and headed for land.
We caught a taxi to South Beach Hostel – it was hoootttt. This, coupled with the fact that we didn’t shower on the boat = sweat and stink, so we were keen for a scrub. Because it was sparrows fart o’clock we couldn’t check in – so we dumped our bags and headed to south beach for a walk. It was still really early so nothing was open –which meant we were now hungry, smelly and sweaty – attractive.
We walked along the beach and Ocean Drive and ended up at Lincoln Bvd – the home of the Miami shopping. We went into Footlocker and decided it was finally time to buy those sneakers we had been talking about since Vegas – clearly we failed at this, so we thought it was about time we actually bought some. Footlocker had a sale on, so Totti bought a pink pair of converse high tops and I bought the traditional black and white version – the only difference (aside from the colour) was that Totti’s shoes cost $25 and mine cost $45, her midgety genetic makeup allows her feet to fit into children’s sizes.
We kept strolling and settled into a pizza place for lunch and to watch the Argentina game. It was pretty cool as the restaurant had the game broadcasting direct from the Spanish channel - we were both very amused by the enthusiastic commentary. So after the game we walked some more and decided to watch a movie at the local cinema, which p.s was 5 bucks and was like cinemax back home, so we were very excited about this. So to improve our already awesome movie experience, we bought some Cold Stone (which is like goodberries, but a million times more awesome and yum) and went to see the Killers. It was nice.
We decided that because we had been talking about our new sneakers since Vegas – that we should bring them out to play in Miami. New city, new shoes. Made sense at the time, no? Initially we were getting strange looks, to the point of walking past people in restaurants and entire tables stopped in mid conversation to stare at us. I mentioned in passing “maybe it’s ‘cause we’re the only ones wearing shoes” and that may have been the cause for all the sideways glances. So mere seconds after I made this observation, every other person was stopping and telling Totti how much they liked her shoes. “Oh hey, cool shoes” “I like your shoes girl”....... so I had shoe envy, and really couldn’t understand why hers were so much cooler than mine, since WE WERE BOTH WEARING CONVERSE!!!! *exhales in frustration*. And it just seemed to get worse, for me anyway – everyone loved Totti. Every second person on the street would just say hi to her, for NO REASON! Totti said she had been told in the past that she had “trusting eyes” and that she was very approachable. I found this highly amusing – as I know that she pinches increasingly hard, I have the bruises to prove it, and that she will attack while I am unsuspecting. She will lull you into a false sense of security and then make her move. When I pointed this fact out to her, she did indeed agree. So as we continued, the hello’s kept coming – in the end I was like “ok, do I have the words “F**k Off” written on my forehead?!
So it just kept getting better for her, she was told she was adorable, that they liked her shoes, at one point we were strolling down the footpath and this mighty ripped African American chap kindly obliged Totti when she asked if she could have a photo with him. We then heard beeping from the traffic lights and looked over to see the hottest looking boys we have ever laid eyes on. They were indicating that they wanted us to take a photo of them, as if to say, we’re as hot as that guy. Then to our surprise, they came and pulled up on the footpath next to us ....shirtless....tattoo’d....muscular....Puerto Rican.... They just seemed to love totti and her friggan shoes....actually, they just loved her (it’s beyond me why, they don’t know her farts could clear a room in about 5 seconds)...... So she got a photo with them, sat on their Vespa, touched their muscles – while I watched from the footpath and took the photo. Woo. The only salvation came when the boys asked Totti for her number – all of a fluster, blushing, but couldn’t wipe the grin off her face, priceless :p The funniest thing about the entire situation was that she seemed to have a momentary lapse in concentration, probably because she was too busy salivating, she gave the boys her phone number without the country code. Bless. But so the moral of the story is, clearly black and white converse are just too average in Miami. So by this stage I was pretty much sick of everyone loving Totti and told the boys they could have her, that I’d wait on the corner and they could bring her back in 20.
Oh, did I mention she had cool shoes?
So we strolled back to our hostel, Totti with a spring in her step and me dragging my average converse shoes along. We hopped into bed and set our alarms for 5.30am *cringe*. Universal studios the next day.
Day 29:
Another sparrows fart start – that was clever wasn’t it :p A 3.5hr bus ride to Orlando, but well worth the wait – universal is pretty friggan awesome!! We spent the day going on as many rides as we could – Shrek, The Mummy, Jaws, Terminator 2, Jimmy Neutron – THE SIMPSONS RIDE!!!!
So by this stage we were well peckish and decided a hot dog would go down a treat. While enjoying our footlong hot dogs, our pleasant atmosphere was interrupted by a monosyllabic and unenthusiastic drone of a voice “whack a mole. Who wants to whack a mole? It’s the funnest game at universal. It only takes two players to start a race. There’s a winner in every game. Whack a mole. Come whack a mole. Did you guys go see jaws? Did he kill him? He always does. I’ve been on the ride a million times and it’s just as scary as the first time. Whaaaaaaaaaaaack a mole” and so it went. Stupid mole. Whack her mole.
Unfortunately, well much to my distaste anyway ( I suspect Totti planned this intentionally so that we would in fact miss it) - we missed the grand opening of the Harry Potter theme park, which by the way, is SO friggan cool. Let us move on, I am still in mourning over this fact. And so before we knew it, it was time to hop back on the bus and head back to Miami. It was such a long day that we were glad to get back to our rickety bunk beds and pass out.
Day 30:
We expected a cruisy uneventful day, so we just opted to walk around Miami some more and maybe do some shopping. We were in Alvins Island – just a souvenir shop, t-shirts, shot glasses etc. We were casually browsing stuff – Totti was looking at sunscreen when through the door, walked Francesco Totti. I was literally lost for words, of all the people, in Miami??? I was like “Totti!!! It’s the REAL Totti!” I am still reeling from this fact, as I am now the envy of my entire family and can totally have bragging rights for like the next ten years. It was pretty friggan cool!!!! He was how ever a man of few words.....actually he didn’t say anything at all. But it completely made our day :)So on that very high note, we proceeded to do some more shopping and while away our afternoon. We went back to the same pizza place and watched Italy vs Paraguay. I opted to keep the fact that I was going for Italy quiet – everyone including Totti was keen to see us lose, plus everyone in the pizza shop was from Argentina, so I guess they had to hate us on principal. Lame game but anyways it was a good feed.
We were pretty pooped by our super eventful day, so headed back to the hostel, showered and went to dinner at TGI Friday’s. We weren’t really in the mood to go out, so we went back to the hostel and packed our stuff, in preparation for another super early wake up call, as we had a 7.30am flight the next morning.
With the prospect of New York upon us, we settled into bed and passed out. Lucky for me the farting was kept to a minimum on this trip – as we had a shared room *praises lord*.
So until next time Floggers and Boggers – Miami is worth it, lots of fun, lots to do, lots of hot people to see. Maybe try buy some bright pink converse and see if they love you as much as they love Totti.
Say hi to your dad for us,
Ela & Kate
Xxxx
We docked back in Miami port at around 7:30am – another sparrows fart wake up call as we had breakfast in bed, yes it’s a hard life :p Since we were efficient and pre-packed our bags the night before, we promptly left our cabin, said goodbye to the Carnival Liberty and headed for land.
We caught a taxi to South Beach Hostel – it was hoootttt. This, coupled with the fact that we didn’t shower on the boat = sweat and stink, so we were keen for a scrub. Because it was sparrows fart o’clock we couldn’t check in – so we dumped our bags and headed to south beach for a walk. It was still really early so nothing was open –which meant we were now hungry, smelly and sweaty – attractive.
We walked along the beach and Ocean Drive and ended up at Lincoln Bvd – the home of the Miami shopping. We went into Footlocker and decided it was finally time to buy those sneakers we had been talking about since Vegas – clearly we failed at this, so we thought it was about time we actually bought some. Footlocker had a sale on, so Totti bought a pink pair of converse high tops and I bought the traditional black and white version – the only difference (aside from the colour) was that Totti’s shoes cost $25 and mine cost $45, her midgety genetic makeup allows her feet to fit into children’s sizes.
We kept strolling and settled into a pizza place for lunch and to watch the Argentina game. It was pretty cool as the restaurant had the game broadcasting direct from the Spanish channel - we were both very amused by the enthusiastic commentary. So after the game we walked some more and decided to watch a movie at the local cinema, which p.s was 5 bucks and was like cinemax back home, so we were very excited about this. So to improve our already awesome movie experience, we bought some Cold Stone (which is like goodberries, but a million times more awesome and yum) and went to see the Killers. It was nice.
We decided that because we had been talking about our new sneakers since Vegas – that we should bring them out to play in Miami. New city, new shoes. Made sense at the time, no? Initially we were getting strange looks, to the point of walking past people in restaurants and entire tables stopped in mid conversation to stare at us. I mentioned in passing “maybe it’s ‘cause we’re the only ones wearing shoes” and that may have been the cause for all the sideways glances. So mere seconds after I made this observation, every other person was stopping and telling Totti how much they liked her shoes. “Oh hey, cool shoes” “I like your shoes girl”....... so I had shoe envy, and really couldn’t understand why hers were so much cooler than mine, since WE WERE BOTH WEARING CONVERSE!!!! *exhales in frustration*. And it just seemed to get worse, for me anyway – everyone loved Totti. Every second person on the street would just say hi to her, for NO REASON! Totti said she had been told in the past that she had “trusting eyes” and that she was very approachable. I found this highly amusing – as I know that she pinches increasingly hard, I have the bruises to prove it, and that she will attack while I am unsuspecting. She will lull you into a false sense of security and then make her move. When I pointed this fact out to her, she did indeed agree. So as we continued, the hello’s kept coming – in the end I was like “ok, do I have the words “F**k Off” written on my forehead?!
So it just kept getting better for her, she was told she was adorable, that they liked her shoes, at one point we were strolling down the footpath and this mighty ripped African American chap kindly obliged Totti when she asked if she could have a photo with him. We then heard beeping from the traffic lights and looked over to see the hottest looking boys we have ever laid eyes on. They were indicating that they wanted us to take a photo of them, as if to say, we’re as hot as that guy. Then to our surprise, they came and pulled up on the footpath next to us ....shirtless....tattoo’d....muscular....Puerto Rican.... They just seemed to love totti and her friggan shoes....actually, they just loved her (it’s beyond me why, they don’t know her farts could clear a room in about 5 seconds)...... So she got a photo with them, sat on their Vespa, touched their muscles – while I watched from the footpath and took the photo. Woo. The only salvation came when the boys asked Totti for her number – all of a fluster, blushing, but couldn’t wipe the grin off her face, priceless :p The funniest thing about the entire situation was that she seemed to have a momentary lapse in concentration, probably because she was too busy salivating, she gave the boys her phone number without the country code. Bless. But so the moral of the story is, clearly black and white converse are just too average in Miami. So by this stage I was pretty much sick of everyone loving Totti and told the boys they could have her, that I’d wait on the corner and they could bring her back in 20.
Oh, did I mention she had cool shoes?
So we strolled back to our hostel, Totti with a spring in her step and me dragging my average converse shoes along. We hopped into bed and set our alarms for 5.30am *cringe*. Universal studios the next day.
Day 29:
Another sparrows fart start – that was clever wasn’t it :p A 3.5hr bus ride to Orlando, but well worth the wait – universal is pretty friggan awesome!! We spent the day going on as many rides as we could – Shrek, The Mummy, Jaws, Terminator 2, Jimmy Neutron – THE SIMPSONS RIDE!!!!
So by this stage we were well peckish and decided a hot dog would go down a treat. While enjoying our footlong hot dogs, our pleasant atmosphere was interrupted by a monosyllabic and unenthusiastic drone of a voice “whack a mole. Who wants to whack a mole? It’s the funnest game at universal. It only takes two players to start a race. There’s a winner in every game. Whack a mole. Come whack a mole. Did you guys go see jaws? Did he kill him? He always does. I’ve been on the ride a million times and it’s just as scary as the first time. Whaaaaaaaaaaaack a mole” and so it went. Stupid mole. Whack her mole.
Unfortunately, well much to my distaste anyway ( I suspect Totti planned this intentionally so that we would in fact miss it) - we missed the grand opening of the Harry Potter theme park, which by the way, is SO friggan cool. Let us move on, I am still in mourning over this fact. And so before we knew it, it was time to hop back on the bus and head back to Miami. It was such a long day that we were glad to get back to our rickety bunk beds and pass out.
Day 30:
We expected a cruisy uneventful day, so we just opted to walk around Miami some more and maybe do some shopping. We were in Alvins Island – just a souvenir shop, t-shirts, shot glasses etc. We were casually browsing stuff – Totti was looking at sunscreen when through the door, walked Francesco Totti. I was literally lost for words, of all the people, in Miami??? I was like “Totti!!! It’s the REAL Totti!” I am still reeling from this fact, as I am now the envy of my entire family and can totally have bragging rights for like the next ten years. It was pretty friggan cool!!!! He was how ever a man of few words.....actually he didn’t say anything at all. But it completely made our day :)So on that very high note, we proceeded to do some more shopping and while away our afternoon. We went back to the same pizza place and watched Italy vs Paraguay. I opted to keep the fact that I was going for Italy quiet – everyone including Totti was keen to see us lose, plus everyone in the pizza shop was from Argentina, so I guess they had to hate us on principal. Lame game but anyways it was a good feed.
We were pretty pooped by our super eventful day, so headed back to the hostel, showered and went to dinner at TGI Friday’s. We weren’t really in the mood to go out, so we went back to the hostel and packed our stuff, in preparation for another super early wake up call, as we had a 7.30am flight the next morning.
With the prospect of New York upon us, we settled into bed and passed out. Lucky for me the farting was kept to a minimum on this trip – as we had a shared room *praises lord*.
So until next time Floggers and Boggers – Miami is worth it, lots of fun, lots to do, lots of hot people to see. Maybe try buy some bright pink converse and see if they love you as much as they love Totti.
Say hi to your dad for us,
Ela & Kate
Xxxx
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Cancun & Cruise
Cancun:
Day 16 continued:
We had a brief 2 hour stop over in Mexico City on our way to Cancun. Let me paint the picture for you...An airport, lots of Mexican non-english speaking people, Totti, Ela, Food. We had a quick bite to eat and then spent the last hour trying to make our way to our gate. Along the way we had to stop and ask airport staff whether we were heading in the right direction. At one stage, I said to Ela “ok, go ask that lady if we are going the right way”. Ela approaches the lady, a little flustered. She holds out her boarding pass as says “So...”. That’s it! She couldn’t string together a sentence. I lost it and it has been the running joke (by me) since then. That is all.
So after finally making it to our gate, we got to board the flight. So much for not getting a cavity search – Totti ended up getting frisked at Mexico City airport – much to Ela’s amusement :p And so finally, after a long day of travelling, we arrived to a hot and muggy Cancun. We caught our shuttle back to our resort and went straight to dinner. When our meals arrived we were promptly asked by the middle aged Mexican waiter “would you like some marijuana?” - it turns out he was serious, as he proceeded to ask us for our room number :p We politely declined, but found it equally hilarious. So after dinner we decided to go for a nice walk along the beach......which turned into an effing hike, as we got lost and couldn’t find the correct entry point back into our hotel. Fail. We ended up like three hotels away, and had to walk back along the main street in the dark with seedy people watching us as we walked by.
Day 17:
After a nice sleep in we eased into the day – much to Totti’s delight, the pool area provided the guests with “pods” – basically just a wicker sphere complete with pillows and mattresses for people to lie in. Totti envisaged spending her day within the safety of the pods – for some reason birds just seem to like her a little too much – it’s actually rather entertaining. Ela feels it’s because totti holds a resemblance to our winged friends, totti just maintains that they hate her. In a nutshell; birds just like to swoop/peck and/or chase her when ever they can. LOL. That is all. They generally strike when she least expects it – I’m not the only one to witness this strange yet hilarious phenomenon. In Monterrey, Michael didn’t believe that birds reacted this way to Kate, until he witnessed a pigeon take aim and dive bomb totti in the middle on St.Lucia. Priceless. ANYWAY – so the birds hate Totti.
We spent the rest of the day in the pool – Totti disturbed the romantic ambiance by bombing into the pool. The happy couples were not impressed, Totti how ever was well chuffed. Ela then tried to teach Totti how to float on her back. Yeah. No. It was pretty much like watching a pebble sink to the bottom of the pool. She just can’t do it. How ever after many failed attempts I think we managed to get some float time happening.
We went to the mall. We didn’t buy anything. We left the mall. That is all. We are small. We went to the Tequila store. We rode a donkey. We wore sombreros. This doesn’t rhyme any more. We left the store. That’s all there is, there isn’t any more.
Upon our return from our highly successful mall trip – Totti was greeted by the cheeky doorman “Hola Miss Walker”. WTF?! Ela was like “WTF dude, Miss Waker?”. Totti replied “Hello”. What ever – she loved it.
We ate dinner. We went to bed. Totti farted. That is all.
Day 18:
Xcaret!!
Today we ventured off to Xcaret. Xcaret is a giant nature park with lots of wildlife (Jaguars, Flamingos, Sharks, Turtles, Dolphins...you get the picture), Mayan ruins, a long river which runs through caves and much more.
We were greeted in the morning by our tour guide Alfredo. He was rather entertaining. We were the only English speaking people in our tour and he was very good with the translation which was handy! Too our amusement, our driver (name unknown) was busting moves to some gangsta hits on the trip out to Xcaret. Ela and I lost it when Eminem’s slim shady started pumping through the speakers. The driver was definitely in the zone...nothing could stop him...so we joined in and started busting our own moves to this great song!
Finally arrived at Xcaret...wow! It was huge. We headed straight for the river swim because it was effing hot. We got our locker, our towels, our pretty life jackets and off we went. We were pretty buggered after the first kilometre, we had another 20km to go! It was very refreshing. We went through about 3 caves, Ela got scared so swam faster through the caves. 3 hours later, we got out of the river and dropped off our snorkel gear and showered.
Next stop....all you can eat buffet, literally. It was so hot by this time we retired to the buffet to try and relieve ourselves from drowning in our own sweat. The buffet was HUGE. There were about 10 food stands with everything you could imagine: roasts, seafood, sushi, pasta, pizza, salad, fruit, dessert, burritos, tacos, cheeses, ice cream...We went crazy and piled up our plates like we hadn’t eaten in 3 weeks. My lord...we ate. We rolled back to our tables with our 4th plate of dessert to be entertained with some soft animal porn. Our table had direct view of the Jaguars – we witness the black jaguar try to put his moves on the orange jaguar. It was very humerous. He had no game and we watched on as he failed after every attempt.
For drinks, we ordered the Pia Maya. A giant pineapple filled with rum. Because it was so hot, we were pretty much two fat drunk ladies getting our dose of porn. Sick.
2 hours later, we finally dragged our fat bodies away from the food and sat under some trees. I can’t really remember what we were doing but it seemed like a good idea at the time! We then found refuge under a hut on some chairs where we passed out for a couple of hours.
We went to the show. We left the show. We watched the chickens hatch. We found Alfredo. We gassed and steamed up the van. Ela tried to douse the smell with her perfume. Totti blamed Ela for the smell. We laughed. We wrote “you are late” on the van door. We laughed some more. We were pretty delirious by this point as we started the day at 7am and it was 11pm by the time we got back to our resort.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....
Day 19:
Slept in. Ela got third degree burns. Totti laughed. We went on a party tour. We got smashed. Totti felt violated on several occasions. We danced on the bar and got free shots. Ela had a shot out of the waitresses cleavage. We did the congo. We drank. We danced.
We went to Congo, Senor Frogs and Coco Bongo. Coco Bongo was amazing. It’s this three storey nightclub with a stage and massive projector screen. They perform shows throughout the night. We saw Troy, Moulin Rouge, Spiderman, Broadway and heaps more. It was very cool.
We caught the seedy bus back to our resort.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....fart................zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....laugh................zzzzzzzzz......
Day 20:
It was time for us to leave Cancun. We checked out and said goodbye to our Mexican bell-boys.
Hello...miami. We arrived to a hurricane. Not really...it was just a massive storm. We checked into to our dodgy hotel (we were staying at Port Miami because we needed to be on the cruise the next day). We decided to take a wander to find some food. It wasn’t raining at this stage so we thought we’d be fine. We found a chicken place – it was very tasty. It then started pissing down rain. So we swam back to our hotel, completely saturated. We were so keen for a hot shower....oh hell no....no hot water in this hotel. So we sat in our wet clothes like little orphan children. We watched a movie...well Ela watched the movie and I passed out. I woke up and was hungry so we went to Joe’s Cafe and got some popcorn, ice cream , bagel and juice. We fell asleep.
At about 3am...we were woken by some rather loud activity happening in the adjoining room. Now we can’t be certain, but it sounded like they were making a porno. 1 hour later...we were still awake and listening to our neighbour screaming the hotel down. She was clearly enjoying herself. Basically sounded like Maria Sharapova in a porno. Sick.
CRUISE:
Day 21:
We caught a shuttle to Miami Port where we proceeded to check in to Carnival Liberty. We were boarding a 1100 tonne cruise ship which is currently home to 1000 crew. The cruise is bound for the Western Carribean...yeah, you heard.
Once we boarded it was straight to the food! We ate a stinky hot dog and some nuggets. We hadn’t showered in a couple of days so we were pretty keen for that, however our luggage took a while to arrive so we wandered around trying to familiarise ourselves with the 11 storey ship.
Finally our luggage, a shower and a massive dinner. Our lives were complete.
We decided to make our way to the theatre to see the welcome aboard show. Our cruise director Butch called some gentlemen on stage, a newlywed Richard, Dale, married 25 years, and old George, bless his soul, who’d been married 60 years. Butch made them have a dance contest – Richard the newlywed, had to have rhythm based on principal, he was bleck, if he couldn’t dance, that would be a fail. So he had some moves. Dale was a super sized Texan. Fail. Enough said. Up until this point, George had been relatively subdued, so with some audience encouragement, he made his way gingerly to the front of the stage. Once the beat started pumping, George got moving, and much to everyone’s great amusement, he proceeded to strip. Not all the way of course, just a flash, but it was by far the most hilarious and genuine attempt – he was 60, he didn’t have to try and impress anyone. What a legend. The crowd gave him a standing ovation, and well deserved. And so on that happy note, we retired to our cabins and passed out.
Day 22:
First day at sea. We got room service for breakfast in bed. Then it was up to floor 11 for some pampering. We both got the Travellers Tension massage which was treatment of the head, neck, shoulders and feet. So nice. We then both got our hair coloured and cut. Ah...it felt...so nice.
We then went to floor 9 for some lunch. We had vegetable stir-fry. Far out...it was so tasty. We then proceeded to sit at the pool bar and watch 3498 people try and fit in the pool. We were approached by 2 young fellows, Justin and Joe. They asked us to dinner, which we politely accepted. Joe was very drunk and disorderly but rather entertaining. Did Justin mention he was single, a personal trainer, a lifeguard and awesome? Ahh....it was going to be a LONG dinner.
Totti out stunk stink. I never thought it was possible – but she out stank herself. Far out. She needed an exorcism of the ass. She literally almost farted me to death – it was like being in the effing holocaust. Peeeee-eeeewww!!!! I decided I needed some FRESH SEA AIR.
So we got ready for dinner...I thought it was going to be a dead end evening – but it was salvaged by totti. When Justin finished telling us his ambitions of becoming an underwear model for the tenth time in a row – he also mentioned he had a mole removed.......why...why oh why.. Totti “sooooo....did you chop it off....cut it up......and make some....GUACA-MOL—EEE” Oh dear. And that’s how the night ended.
We then made our way to the adult comedy show – Too funny. Joke of the night: The comedian (Phat Cat) was discussing the finer points of the song that goes a little something like
“my neck, my back....” we think you know it :p His mamma said “That girl is Nas-ty!!” he asked his mum “why?” she replied “ well if she’s asking you to lick her from her back to her front she’s going to get a yeast infection..... You gunna wake up with a loaf of bread on your face” we lost it – too funny. So wrong. Lol.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Day 23:
Cozumel. We had breakfast in bed and then we got off the ship to explore the island of Cozumel, Mexico. We caught the taxi to town and had a look at the local stores, and once we finished there we made our way to Playa Del Maya – a beach park with kayaks, jet skis, snorkelling, pools, trampoline, a giant inflatable mountain in the middle of the water, open bar, floating mattresses. Ahhh. So we had a nice relaxing day at the beach, went out on the kayak, got a floating mattress, Ela got more burnt, we ate some chicken, drank some daiquiris, that’s pretty much it!!!
Once back on the ship we showered and watched a movie, did some laundry, went to dinner and came back to our cabins and passed out.
Day 24:
After a sleep in, we had a pretty lazy day – sun baked. Ate. Ate.....ate....ate....Bummed. Snoozed. Then we decided to go and watch Butch’s Game of Love. As corny as it sounded, there was nothing better to do, so we thought we’d have nothing to lose. We were glad we attended – I don’t think either of us had laughed that hard in a VERY long while.
Three couples were called up on stage – newlyweds, a couple that had been married for roughly 26 years and then some old timers. So they were seated back to back on the stage and were handed a pen and paper each. At first they were asked a series on questions related to their time as a married couple; bad habits, first time they met, best sex they ever had, etc etc. Both partners had to answer and then the answers were read out loud to the audience . The most anticipated answers came when the couples were asked to describe their sex life in relation to a movie title. The newlywed husband answered “free willy”. The wife from the 26 year marriage answered “Gone in 60 seconds” – her husband came up with “Journey to the centre of the earth” Oh how we laughed. But the best answer came from the elderly couple, the wife’s answer was “Finding Nemo” and her husband stole the show with “Deep Throat” Everyone in the theatre literally wet themselves. He was a cheeky bugger.
Day 25:
Grand Cayman. Well –it was pretty much an island paradise. We spent the entire day swimming and walking along the beach, and we took a tour which took us to some dolphins, the Tortuga Rum factory and to a place called ‘Hell’ – it’s a bunch of creepy rock formations. Lol. Go figure. A pretty cruisy day all round.
When we got back on the ship, we showered and had an afternoon nap. After dinner we went to see the hypnosis show – it was pretty cool – some of the stuff he had the audience do was very entertaining, but we were more excited for the R rated version the next night....
Day 26:
Ocho Rios – Jamaica.
Needless to say – this has been the most anticipated stop for us on this entire cruise. We had one main objective – get someone to say “Yu Mun”. That didn’t take long at all :p Neither did getting offered some local ganja. We literally walked off the boat and through the port gates, when two men were quick to stop us and offer. We decided we’d count the amount of times we were offered some hash, and I think over the course of the entire day it totalled to about 7.
So we proceeded down the main street – Jamaica is beautiful, the island is green and is pretty much rainforest. There isn’t really a middle class – so the main city area is a riot of markets and cars and people. The mountains are where the rich people live.Their main productivity comes from coffee, aluminium and sugar. We were stopped by an older Jamaican man, nick named “Spicy” – he was good value, he persuaded us into letting him be our tour guide – Ela obliged hesitantly, as she maintained that he would take us into some deserted patch of jungle and kill us, chop us into small bits and then use our organs for some random voodoo ritual. Therefore she would never be able to fulfil her life’s ambitions, whatever they may be, and that her tortured soul would then plague Totti for the rest of her days.
As it turned out, he was a good egg – we drove up into the rainforest, it was stunning – along the way there were little stalls decked out with bright cloths and locally made trinkets and the usual touristy stuff.
The roads continued to wind, along the roadside the small houses were dilapidated but still home to some of the poorer Jamaican community – but despite their living conditions their spirit was never broken – we stopped and had the privilege of meeting a very lovely Jamaican woman by the name of June. She showed us some local herbs which smelled amazing, then we bought some t-shirts and bracelets and Totti’s salesman friend kindly offered to roll us a blunt. Lol. It was humid and the mozzies made a meal of us – but June was awesome, Ela was chuffed when she was told “I like your style, sista” (In a cool Jamaican accent).
From there we took a short drive into the countryside and then to Spicey’s home town – where we stopped at his local bar and had some Jamaican made rum and pepsi. Sooooo..Our day became interesting :p well relaxed, we made our way back down the mountain, and took a photo next to the waterfalls. Upon exiting the photo area – Spicy found us some super sexy Jamaican street cop boys, Kirk and Dwayne, who basically became our escorts for the day. We stopped at a bar where Ela was promptly made some Ganja tea and some old guy offered her Cocaine lol. More than content with the Ganja tea and a few more rums, the day became pretty amusing.
We spent the day wondering the streets and made inappropriate small talk with our escorts – entertained some local shop keepers with our amazing dance moves – they said they liked us anyway, and I suppose it was kind of true, since they topped up Ela’s ganja tea and also cause they said “we like you guys” – again, some old dude stoned off his chops offered us some ganja over the counter. LOL.
So – our escorts were pretty much ready to commit to marriage by this stage. We spent the rest of the day at a bar. We got them wasted and just drank away the afternoon, later joined by our crazy driver Spicy – we ended up having a pretty awesome day.
By the time we got back to our cabin we were pretty well off our chops – mind you it was only about 2pm. Sigh.
So after a couple of hours of trying to unsuccessfully play cards and well...not doing much at all lol. We showered and got ready for an early dinner. We bummed around and made it to the midnight hypnosis show.
The audience was asked to do some pretty hilarious stuff – like hallucinate that the host was starkers on stage, he asked the women to picture him with a huge wang, and some of the reactions were priceless. Most of the women recoiled in disgust, except for one African American woman whom sat back and soaked in the view with a most satisfied look on her face which plainly stated
“Dayyyuuum”. LOL. He also asked the women to simulate earth shattering orgasms and he asked the men to pretend that they were world class porn stars, with one objective: have sex with an inanimate chair (who in theory was a smokin’ hot woman). Wow. Lol. Some of the younger men opted for an errrmm...rougher approach, all usually coming from behind. One guy had the audience in stitches, he went down on the chair, yes, he went down on a chair. This one latino man put them all to shame, he had some moves. So overall it was worth staying up till midnight for.
Day 27:
Our last day at sea. We woke up at 12 and had lunch. We then went along to the towel animal making session. Random, yes, but every night when we come back to our rooms, there has been a little towel animal waiting on our bed for us. It’s rather cute. So we went and learned how to make an elephant and a dog.
Then we went back to our cabin and spent some time informing you all of our amazing adventures while writing this blog. Tonight we don’t have much planned, as we dock back in Miami tomorrow at 7.30am. So tonight we are going to watch the opening ceremony of the world cup and just relax.
It’s been a fantastic week – very relaxing, lots of good food, good fun and interesting people. The cruise staff has been brilliant and everything we’ve wanted or needed has been readily available to us. It’s so worth it and anyone thinking of doing a cruise – two thumbs up, you won’t regret it.
So for now we leave you, as we head to Miami for some more fun in the sun, a day at universal studios and South Beach. Ya Mun.
Say hi to your dad for us,
Kate and Ela xx
Day 16 continued:
We had a brief 2 hour stop over in Mexico City on our way to Cancun. Let me paint the picture for you...An airport, lots of Mexican non-english speaking people, Totti, Ela, Food. We had a quick bite to eat and then spent the last hour trying to make our way to our gate. Along the way we had to stop and ask airport staff whether we were heading in the right direction. At one stage, I said to Ela “ok, go ask that lady if we are going the right way”. Ela approaches the lady, a little flustered. She holds out her boarding pass as says “So...”. That’s it! She couldn’t string together a sentence. I lost it and it has been the running joke (by me) since then. That is all.
So after finally making it to our gate, we got to board the flight. So much for not getting a cavity search – Totti ended up getting frisked at Mexico City airport – much to Ela’s amusement :p And so finally, after a long day of travelling, we arrived to a hot and muggy Cancun. We caught our shuttle back to our resort and went straight to dinner. When our meals arrived we were promptly asked by the middle aged Mexican waiter “would you like some marijuana?” - it turns out he was serious, as he proceeded to ask us for our room number :p We politely declined, but found it equally hilarious. So after dinner we decided to go for a nice walk along the beach......which turned into an effing hike, as we got lost and couldn’t find the correct entry point back into our hotel. Fail. We ended up like three hotels away, and had to walk back along the main street in the dark with seedy people watching us as we walked by.
Day 17:
After a nice sleep in we eased into the day – much to Totti’s delight, the pool area provided the guests with “pods” – basically just a wicker sphere complete with pillows and mattresses for people to lie in. Totti envisaged spending her day within the safety of the pods – for some reason birds just seem to like her a little too much – it’s actually rather entertaining. Ela feels it’s because totti holds a resemblance to our winged friends, totti just maintains that they hate her. In a nutshell; birds just like to swoop/peck and/or chase her when ever they can. LOL. That is all. They generally strike when she least expects it – I’m not the only one to witness this strange yet hilarious phenomenon. In Monterrey, Michael didn’t believe that birds reacted this way to Kate, until he witnessed a pigeon take aim and dive bomb totti in the middle on St.Lucia. Priceless. ANYWAY – so the birds hate Totti.
We spent the rest of the day in the pool – Totti disturbed the romantic ambiance by bombing into the pool. The happy couples were not impressed, Totti how ever was well chuffed. Ela then tried to teach Totti how to float on her back. Yeah. No. It was pretty much like watching a pebble sink to the bottom of the pool. She just can’t do it. How ever after many failed attempts I think we managed to get some float time happening.
We went to the mall. We didn’t buy anything. We left the mall. That is all. We are small. We went to the Tequila store. We rode a donkey. We wore sombreros. This doesn’t rhyme any more. We left the store. That’s all there is, there isn’t any more.
Upon our return from our highly successful mall trip – Totti was greeted by the cheeky doorman “Hola Miss Walker”. WTF?! Ela was like “WTF dude, Miss Waker?”. Totti replied “Hello”. What ever – she loved it.
We ate dinner. We went to bed. Totti farted. That is all.
Day 18:
Xcaret!!
Today we ventured off to Xcaret. Xcaret is a giant nature park with lots of wildlife (Jaguars, Flamingos, Sharks, Turtles, Dolphins...you get the picture), Mayan ruins, a long river which runs through caves and much more.
We were greeted in the morning by our tour guide Alfredo. He was rather entertaining. We were the only English speaking people in our tour and he was very good with the translation which was handy! Too our amusement, our driver (name unknown) was busting moves to some gangsta hits on the trip out to Xcaret. Ela and I lost it when Eminem’s slim shady started pumping through the speakers. The driver was definitely in the zone...nothing could stop him...so we joined in and started busting our own moves to this great song!
Finally arrived at Xcaret...wow! It was huge. We headed straight for the river swim because it was effing hot. We got our locker, our towels, our pretty life jackets and off we went. We were pretty buggered after the first kilometre, we had another 20km to go! It was very refreshing. We went through about 3 caves, Ela got scared so swam faster through the caves. 3 hours later, we got out of the river and dropped off our snorkel gear and showered.
Next stop....all you can eat buffet, literally. It was so hot by this time we retired to the buffet to try and relieve ourselves from drowning in our own sweat. The buffet was HUGE. There were about 10 food stands with everything you could imagine: roasts, seafood, sushi, pasta, pizza, salad, fruit, dessert, burritos, tacos, cheeses, ice cream...We went crazy and piled up our plates like we hadn’t eaten in 3 weeks. My lord...we ate. We rolled back to our tables with our 4th plate of dessert to be entertained with some soft animal porn. Our table had direct view of the Jaguars – we witness the black jaguar try to put his moves on the orange jaguar. It was very humerous. He had no game and we watched on as he failed after every attempt.
For drinks, we ordered the Pia Maya. A giant pineapple filled with rum. Because it was so hot, we were pretty much two fat drunk ladies getting our dose of porn. Sick.
2 hours later, we finally dragged our fat bodies away from the food and sat under some trees. I can’t really remember what we were doing but it seemed like a good idea at the time! We then found refuge under a hut on some chairs where we passed out for a couple of hours.
We went to the show. We left the show. We watched the chickens hatch. We found Alfredo. We gassed and steamed up the van. Ela tried to douse the smell with her perfume. Totti blamed Ela for the smell. We laughed. We wrote “you are late” on the van door. We laughed some more. We were pretty delirious by this point as we started the day at 7am and it was 11pm by the time we got back to our resort.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....
Day 19:
Slept in. Ela got third degree burns. Totti laughed. We went on a party tour. We got smashed. Totti felt violated on several occasions. We danced on the bar and got free shots. Ela had a shot out of the waitresses cleavage. We did the congo. We drank. We danced.
We went to Congo, Senor Frogs and Coco Bongo. Coco Bongo was amazing. It’s this three storey nightclub with a stage and massive projector screen. They perform shows throughout the night. We saw Troy, Moulin Rouge, Spiderman, Broadway and heaps more. It was very cool.
We caught the seedy bus back to our resort.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....fart................zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....laugh................zzzzzzzzz......
Day 20:
It was time for us to leave Cancun. We checked out and said goodbye to our Mexican bell-boys.
Hello...miami. We arrived to a hurricane. Not really...it was just a massive storm. We checked into to our dodgy hotel (we were staying at Port Miami because we needed to be on the cruise the next day). We decided to take a wander to find some food. It wasn’t raining at this stage so we thought we’d be fine. We found a chicken place – it was very tasty. It then started pissing down rain. So we swam back to our hotel, completely saturated. We were so keen for a hot shower....oh hell no....no hot water in this hotel. So we sat in our wet clothes like little orphan children. We watched a movie...well Ela watched the movie and I passed out. I woke up and was hungry so we went to Joe’s Cafe and got some popcorn, ice cream , bagel and juice. We fell asleep.
At about 3am...we were woken by some rather loud activity happening in the adjoining room. Now we can’t be certain, but it sounded like they were making a porno. 1 hour later...we were still awake and listening to our neighbour screaming the hotel down. She was clearly enjoying herself. Basically sounded like Maria Sharapova in a porno. Sick.
CRUISE:
Day 21:
We caught a shuttle to Miami Port where we proceeded to check in to Carnival Liberty. We were boarding a 1100 tonne cruise ship which is currently home to 1000 crew. The cruise is bound for the Western Carribean...yeah, you heard.
Once we boarded it was straight to the food! We ate a stinky hot dog and some nuggets. We hadn’t showered in a couple of days so we were pretty keen for that, however our luggage took a while to arrive so we wandered around trying to familiarise ourselves with the 11 storey ship.
Finally our luggage, a shower and a massive dinner. Our lives were complete.
We decided to make our way to the theatre to see the welcome aboard show. Our cruise director Butch called some gentlemen on stage, a newlywed Richard, Dale, married 25 years, and old George, bless his soul, who’d been married 60 years. Butch made them have a dance contest – Richard the newlywed, had to have rhythm based on principal, he was bleck, if he couldn’t dance, that would be a fail. So he had some moves. Dale was a super sized Texan. Fail. Enough said. Up until this point, George had been relatively subdued, so with some audience encouragement, he made his way gingerly to the front of the stage. Once the beat started pumping, George got moving, and much to everyone’s great amusement, he proceeded to strip. Not all the way of course, just a flash, but it was by far the most hilarious and genuine attempt – he was 60, he didn’t have to try and impress anyone. What a legend. The crowd gave him a standing ovation, and well deserved. And so on that happy note, we retired to our cabins and passed out.
Day 22:
First day at sea. We got room service for breakfast in bed. Then it was up to floor 11 for some pampering. We both got the Travellers Tension massage which was treatment of the head, neck, shoulders and feet. So nice. We then both got our hair coloured and cut. Ah...it felt...so nice.
We then went to floor 9 for some lunch. We had vegetable stir-fry. Far out...it was so tasty. We then proceeded to sit at the pool bar and watch 3498 people try and fit in the pool. We were approached by 2 young fellows, Justin and Joe. They asked us to dinner, which we politely accepted. Joe was very drunk and disorderly but rather entertaining. Did Justin mention he was single, a personal trainer, a lifeguard and awesome? Ahh....it was going to be a LONG dinner.
Totti out stunk stink. I never thought it was possible – but she out stank herself. Far out. She needed an exorcism of the ass. She literally almost farted me to death – it was like being in the effing holocaust. Peeeee-eeeewww!!!! I decided I needed some FRESH SEA AIR.
So we got ready for dinner...I thought it was going to be a dead end evening – but it was salvaged by totti. When Justin finished telling us his ambitions of becoming an underwear model for the tenth time in a row – he also mentioned he had a mole removed.......why...why oh why.. Totti “sooooo....did you chop it off....cut it up......and make some....GUACA-MOL—EEE” Oh dear. And that’s how the night ended.
We then made our way to the adult comedy show – Too funny. Joke of the night: The comedian (Phat Cat) was discussing the finer points of the song that goes a little something like
“my neck, my back....” we think you know it :p His mamma said “That girl is Nas-ty!!” he asked his mum “why?” she replied “ well if she’s asking you to lick her from her back to her front she’s going to get a yeast infection..... You gunna wake up with a loaf of bread on your face” we lost it – too funny. So wrong. Lol.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Day 23:
Cozumel. We had breakfast in bed and then we got off the ship to explore the island of Cozumel, Mexico. We caught the taxi to town and had a look at the local stores, and once we finished there we made our way to Playa Del Maya – a beach park with kayaks, jet skis, snorkelling, pools, trampoline, a giant inflatable mountain in the middle of the water, open bar, floating mattresses. Ahhh. So we had a nice relaxing day at the beach, went out on the kayak, got a floating mattress, Ela got more burnt, we ate some chicken, drank some daiquiris, that’s pretty much it!!!
Once back on the ship we showered and watched a movie, did some laundry, went to dinner and came back to our cabins and passed out.
Day 24:
After a sleep in, we had a pretty lazy day – sun baked. Ate. Ate.....ate....ate....Bummed. Snoozed. Then we decided to go and watch Butch’s Game of Love. As corny as it sounded, there was nothing better to do, so we thought we’d have nothing to lose. We were glad we attended – I don’t think either of us had laughed that hard in a VERY long while.
Three couples were called up on stage – newlyweds, a couple that had been married for roughly 26 years and then some old timers. So they were seated back to back on the stage and were handed a pen and paper each. At first they were asked a series on questions related to their time as a married couple; bad habits, first time they met, best sex they ever had, etc etc. Both partners had to answer and then the answers were read out loud to the audience . The most anticipated answers came when the couples were asked to describe their sex life in relation to a movie title. The newlywed husband answered “free willy”. The wife from the 26 year marriage answered “Gone in 60 seconds” – her husband came up with “Journey to the centre of the earth” Oh how we laughed. But the best answer came from the elderly couple, the wife’s answer was “Finding Nemo” and her husband stole the show with “Deep Throat” Everyone in the theatre literally wet themselves. He was a cheeky bugger.
Day 25:
Grand Cayman. Well –it was pretty much an island paradise. We spent the entire day swimming and walking along the beach, and we took a tour which took us to some dolphins, the Tortuga Rum factory and to a place called ‘Hell’ – it’s a bunch of creepy rock formations. Lol. Go figure. A pretty cruisy day all round.
When we got back on the ship, we showered and had an afternoon nap. After dinner we went to see the hypnosis show – it was pretty cool – some of the stuff he had the audience do was very entertaining, but we were more excited for the R rated version the next night....
Day 26:
Ocho Rios – Jamaica.
Needless to say – this has been the most anticipated stop for us on this entire cruise. We had one main objective – get someone to say “Yu Mun”. That didn’t take long at all :p Neither did getting offered some local ganja. We literally walked off the boat and through the port gates, when two men were quick to stop us and offer. We decided we’d count the amount of times we were offered some hash, and I think over the course of the entire day it totalled to about 7.
So we proceeded down the main street – Jamaica is beautiful, the island is green and is pretty much rainforest. There isn’t really a middle class – so the main city area is a riot of markets and cars and people. The mountains are where the rich people live.Their main productivity comes from coffee, aluminium and sugar. We were stopped by an older Jamaican man, nick named “Spicy” – he was good value, he persuaded us into letting him be our tour guide – Ela obliged hesitantly, as she maintained that he would take us into some deserted patch of jungle and kill us, chop us into small bits and then use our organs for some random voodoo ritual. Therefore she would never be able to fulfil her life’s ambitions, whatever they may be, and that her tortured soul would then plague Totti for the rest of her days.
As it turned out, he was a good egg – we drove up into the rainforest, it was stunning – along the way there were little stalls decked out with bright cloths and locally made trinkets and the usual touristy stuff.
The roads continued to wind, along the roadside the small houses were dilapidated but still home to some of the poorer Jamaican community – but despite their living conditions their spirit was never broken – we stopped and had the privilege of meeting a very lovely Jamaican woman by the name of June. She showed us some local herbs which smelled amazing, then we bought some t-shirts and bracelets and Totti’s salesman friend kindly offered to roll us a blunt. Lol. It was humid and the mozzies made a meal of us – but June was awesome, Ela was chuffed when she was told “I like your style, sista” (In a cool Jamaican accent).
From there we took a short drive into the countryside and then to Spicey’s home town – where we stopped at his local bar and had some Jamaican made rum and pepsi. Sooooo..Our day became interesting :p well relaxed, we made our way back down the mountain, and took a photo next to the waterfalls. Upon exiting the photo area – Spicy found us some super sexy Jamaican street cop boys, Kirk and Dwayne, who basically became our escorts for the day. We stopped at a bar where Ela was promptly made some Ganja tea and some old guy offered her Cocaine lol. More than content with the Ganja tea and a few more rums, the day became pretty amusing.
We spent the day wondering the streets and made inappropriate small talk with our escorts – entertained some local shop keepers with our amazing dance moves – they said they liked us anyway, and I suppose it was kind of true, since they topped up Ela’s ganja tea and also cause they said “we like you guys” – again, some old dude stoned off his chops offered us some ganja over the counter. LOL.
So – our escorts were pretty much ready to commit to marriage by this stage. We spent the rest of the day at a bar. We got them wasted and just drank away the afternoon, later joined by our crazy driver Spicy – we ended up having a pretty awesome day.
By the time we got back to our cabin we were pretty well off our chops – mind you it was only about 2pm. Sigh.
So after a couple of hours of trying to unsuccessfully play cards and well...not doing much at all lol. We showered and got ready for an early dinner. We bummed around and made it to the midnight hypnosis show.
The audience was asked to do some pretty hilarious stuff – like hallucinate that the host was starkers on stage, he asked the women to picture him with a huge wang, and some of the reactions were priceless. Most of the women recoiled in disgust, except for one African American woman whom sat back and soaked in the view with a most satisfied look on her face which plainly stated
“Dayyyuuum”. LOL. He also asked the women to simulate earth shattering orgasms and he asked the men to pretend that they were world class porn stars, with one objective: have sex with an inanimate chair (who in theory was a smokin’ hot woman). Wow. Lol. Some of the younger men opted for an errrmm...rougher approach, all usually coming from behind. One guy had the audience in stitches, he went down on the chair, yes, he went down on a chair. This one latino man put them all to shame, he had some moves. So overall it was worth staying up till midnight for.
Day 27:
Our last day at sea. We woke up at 12 and had lunch. We then went along to the towel animal making session. Random, yes, but every night when we come back to our rooms, there has been a little towel animal waiting on our bed for us. It’s rather cute. So we went and learned how to make an elephant and a dog.
Then we went back to our cabin and spent some time informing you all of our amazing adventures while writing this blog. Tonight we don’t have much planned, as we dock back in Miami tomorrow at 7.30am. So tonight we are going to watch the opening ceremony of the world cup and just relax.
It’s been a fantastic week – very relaxing, lots of good food, good fun and interesting people. The cruise staff has been brilliant and everything we’ve wanted or needed has been readily available to us. It’s so worth it and anyone thinking of doing a cruise – two thumbs up, you won’t regret it.
So for now we leave you, as we head to Miami for some more fun in the sun, a day at universal studios and South Beach. Ya Mun.
Say hi to your dad for us,
Kate and Ela xx
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Monterrey, Mexico.
Monterrey, Mexico
Day 12 – continued...
We finally touched down in Meh-ico to a stinking hot Monterrey. We were expecting a nice quiet sleeping plane ride (seeing as we were the only ones who could speak English....at least that’s what we thought!) – however the lad in front of us was from Utah (a moreman!) and was quick to start up a conversation....which didn’t stop for the whole 3 effing hours. FML!
Mexico Customs is well...haha....basic to say the least! Ela put her bags through the x-ray machine...picked up her bags and headed straight for the exit doors. To both of our surprises, two armed men pointed their guns and yelled “ALTO! ALTO!” (Stop!) We were greeted at the airport by the lovely Michael (Kate’s eldest brother) and his fiancée Paulina. We were swiftly put in our town-car (a bit like celebrities really!) and then off we went.
We arrived late so after a quick chat, we went to catch some well earned zzzz’s.
Day 13:
We slept in till 11am...ahhh...bliss! Then Michael called us a taxi and we went to a couple of malls. So....kinda interesting to see how EVERYONE stares at us whities. Totti was a white tiger amongst all the orange ones! We are like an endangered species.
Shopping = FAIL! We didn’t buy one single item. Sigh.
We had a quick skype session with Ma and Papa Walker which was lovely Then....it was off to Nueva Luna (New Moon – restaurant/bar/nightclub/everything!). We had traditional tacos for dinner – 2 types of cow, chicken and sausage (simular to cabanossi). It came out on a giant hot plate, Deliciousness. Ela and I ordered 2 margaritas (expecting the standard measure)....oh hell no. When they came out they were literally a fish bowl with legs! And potent at that! So we proceeded to drink them...then a little sick...then some dancing. The Mexicans were intrigued with our dance moves (or lack of). One Mexican chica approached us and praised our dance moves and then proceeded to try and rape Ela! LOL.
Day 14:
Another sleep in. Michael took us to St Lucia – the heart of Monterrey which has a man made river through it which tourist boats travel up and down. The river has stores and restaurants along the bank. We walked for about 20 mins and then stopped at one of the stores and bought a watermelon popsicle. Yum. We caught the boat ride back...again “non intiendes espanol”. “Si”.
After a short siesta, we were taxied off to Paulina’s house for the much anticipated Bachelorette partay. Ah...how can we describe this. Picture 40 mexican lasses who don’t speak any English and then picture Ela and I entering the room and then the silence. Lucky for us, Paulina speaks both English and Spanish. However, Totti did dabble in the Spanish! The first language barrier was hit when Paulina was explaining to the group about our trip...to indicate ‘around the world’, Totti stuck her index finger in the air and twirled it in a circle motion. HA! FAIL. Apparently in Mexico, that movement means that you sleep around. That would explain the hysteric laughter. The second incident came at dinner. Totti queried whether the ‘salsa’ was JALEPENO. Well...that was the running joke for the rest of the night. We still don’t understand why!
The party begun with speeches. The tradition in Mexico is for a book to be made for the bride to be by her friends. There were lots of tears and although we didn’t fully understand what they were saying, we could tell everyone was very moved. It was very sweet.
The hightlight of the night was the Mexican dragqueens! OH MY GOD. There are no words...just check out the pictures. The dragqueens danced and sang and also told jokes. The jokes were in Spanish, however they did ALOT of actions (gyrating mainly!) to go with the jokes...it was clear to us, although we didn’t get the punch line, we could tell they were very dirty. At one point, the queen pulled out a dirty pad. BARF!
Paulina’s family were very sweet – despite the language barrier – we could tell that we were very welcome and they were happy to meet us! A very fun and interesting night
Day 15:
Clearly a communication error between Totti and her brother – she set the alarm for 8:30am and so we got up. Michael and Paulina slept in till 11. Fail.
Once we were all up, Paulina and Michael took us to San Tiago – about 30minutes out of Monterrey. We went to Collo del Caballo (the horses neck) - a national heritage park with a protected waterfall. We got a taste of a more traditional Mexican atmosphere – with lots of little stalls up the mountain selling lots of leather bound goods, lots of colourful cloths, maracas, food, Tequila :p
We made our way steadily up the mountain – covered in a canopy of tropical trees. The path was flanked by traditional stone grills where people were lighting them and having bbq’s which filled the air with deliciousness. And finally we made it to the base of the waterfall – it was massive. Once at the top you can see the trail it has carved into the mountain, and where the water flows all the way down to the bottom. It was pretty spectacular.
On the way back down we got caught in the tropical thunderstorm – it literally bucketed down rain!!! We found shelter in one of the little stalls and waited with a small cluster of other saturated mountaineers for the storm to pass. Some just opted to keep walking as they were already wet enough. Overall a great hike
On the way back – we did a drive through Carl Jnr (a burger store) in a Mexican cab. Nice. We got these gigantic delicious burgers with sliced and fried potatoes. Complementary jalapeno peppers included – as a challenge Ela ate one of the small tubs. Hello toilet – sucks to be you!
Totti and I then decided to showcase our amazing futbol talents – we went and joined in with some small Mexican kids in the street, who were very happy to have us. Again the sign language was used to indicate our desire to play. Lucky it was pretty basic – one point to ourselves, then another at the ball. Enough said. Game on it was a highlight for both of us – a great afternoon. Needless to say we dominated the little amigos!
We went down to St Lucia for dinner by the river. It was about 11:30pm by the time we got down there. So....Ela and I got the English menus – ah HOORAY! However, we still managed to fail at our order. You see, although the menu was in English, the ingredients were not so easy to understand. We decided we wanted an entree, so we pointed to the one that said “Cheese” – a word we know. The waiter bought out our entree – it looked like giant crackers with a little bit of cheese and a thick blot of vegemite....that, plus crap! We asked Paulina to ask the waiter “What the heck did we order”. After conversing with the waiter, Paulina turns to us and cracks up laughing and says “eewwwwwwww”. She proceeds to inform us that the black stuff is the root of corn mushed up with corn and fungi....that, plus crap! So we both agreed that since we ordered it, we must try it. Vom. It tasted like gooey, chunky mud...that, plus crap. It was awful. Totti’s teeth were pitch black – see photos. We scraped off the rest of the gunk and just at the crackers and cheese. Entree fail.
We got home at about 1am – after a quick skype with Ma and Papa Walker, we said our final goodbye to Paulina and went to bed.
Day 16:
We got up reasonably early and packed our bags. Michael had a class (he teaches English to the Mexicans) in the morning so we just waited until he returned. This afternoon we head off to the airport to catch our flight to Cancun via Mexico City.
Sooooo. When checking in baggage, we were shocked to find that their definition of scanning bags was erm....manual. Totti got her undies searched, much to her embarrassment – perhaps they were looking for something suspicious in her undies.....THAT, plus crap. Awkward. So we made it through check in and are now waiting to board our flight to Mexico City, then to Cancun. So in the hope that we don’t get a cavity search thrown into the mix, our next update will come to you via Cancun, complete with fluffy robes and infinity pools.
A day of laze and travel.
Adios for now,
Say hi to your Papi for us,
Kate& Ela xoxoxo
Day 12 – continued...
We finally touched down in Meh-ico to a stinking hot Monterrey. We were expecting a nice quiet sleeping plane ride (seeing as we were the only ones who could speak English....at least that’s what we thought!) – however the lad in front of us was from Utah (a moreman!) and was quick to start up a conversation....which didn’t stop for the whole 3 effing hours. FML!
Mexico Customs is well...haha....basic to say the least! Ela put her bags through the x-ray machine...picked up her bags and headed straight for the exit doors. To both of our surprises, two armed men pointed their guns and yelled “ALTO! ALTO!” (Stop!) We were greeted at the airport by the lovely Michael (Kate’s eldest brother) and his fiancée Paulina. We were swiftly put in our town-car (a bit like celebrities really!) and then off we went.
We arrived late so after a quick chat, we went to catch some well earned zzzz’s.
Day 13:
We slept in till 11am...ahhh...bliss! Then Michael called us a taxi and we went to a couple of malls. So....kinda interesting to see how EVERYONE stares at us whities. Totti was a white tiger amongst all the orange ones! We are like an endangered species.
Shopping = FAIL! We didn’t buy one single item. Sigh.
We had a quick skype session with Ma and Papa Walker which was lovely Then....it was off to Nueva Luna (New Moon – restaurant/bar/nightclub/everything!). We had traditional tacos for dinner – 2 types of cow, chicken and sausage (simular to cabanossi). It came out on a giant hot plate, Deliciousness. Ela and I ordered 2 margaritas (expecting the standard measure)....oh hell no. When they came out they were literally a fish bowl with legs! And potent at that! So we proceeded to drink them...then a little sick...then some dancing. The Mexicans were intrigued with our dance moves (or lack of). One Mexican chica approached us and praised our dance moves and then proceeded to try and rape Ela! LOL.
Day 14:
Another sleep in. Michael took us to St Lucia – the heart of Monterrey which has a man made river through it which tourist boats travel up and down. The river has stores and restaurants along the bank. We walked for about 20 mins and then stopped at one of the stores and bought a watermelon popsicle. Yum. We caught the boat ride back...again “non intiendes espanol”. “Si”.
After a short siesta, we were taxied off to Paulina’s house for the much anticipated Bachelorette partay. Ah...how can we describe this. Picture 40 mexican lasses who don’t speak any English and then picture Ela and I entering the room and then the silence. Lucky for us, Paulina speaks both English and Spanish. However, Totti did dabble in the Spanish! The first language barrier was hit when Paulina was explaining to the group about our trip...to indicate ‘around the world’, Totti stuck her index finger in the air and twirled it in a circle motion. HA! FAIL. Apparently in Mexico, that movement means that you sleep around. That would explain the hysteric laughter. The second incident came at dinner. Totti queried whether the ‘salsa’ was JALEPENO. Well...that was the running joke for the rest of the night. We still don’t understand why!
The party begun with speeches. The tradition in Mexico is for a book to be made for the bride to be by her friends. There were lots of tears and although we didn’t fully understand what they were saying, we could tell everyone was very moved. It was very sweet.
The hightlight of the night was the Mexican dragqueens! OH MY GOD. There are no words...just check out the pictures. The dragqueens danced and sang and also told jokes. The jokes were in Spanish, however they did ALOT of actions (gyrating mainly!) to go with the jokes...it was clear to us, although we didn’t get the punch line, we could tell they were very dirty. At one point, the queen pulled out a dirty pad. BARF!
Paulina’s family were very sweet – despite the language barrier – we could tell that we were very welcome and they were happy to meet us! A very fun and interesting night
Day 15:
Clearly a communication error between Totti and her brother – she set the alarm for 8:30am and so we got up. Michael and Paulina slept in till 11. Fail.
Once we were all up, Paulina and Michael took us to San Tiago – about 30minutes out of Monterrey. We went to Collo del Caballo (the horses neck) - a national heritage park with a protected waterfall. We got a taste of a more traditional Mexican atmosphere – with lots of little stalls up the mountain selling lots of leather bound goods, lots of colourful cloths, maracas, food, Tequila :p
We made our way steadily up the mountain – covered in a canopy of tropical trees. The path was flanked by traditional stone grills where people were lighting them and having bbq’s which filled the air with deliciousness. And finally we made it to the base of the waterfall – it was massive. Once at the top you can see the trail it has carved into the mountain, and where the water flows all the way down to the bottom. It was pretty spectacular.
On the way back down we got caught in the tropical thunderstorm – it literally bucketed down rain!!! We found shelter in one of the little stalls and waited with a small cluster of other saturated mountaineers for the storm to pass. Some just opted to keep walking as they were already wet enough. Overall a great hike
On the way back – we did a drive through Carl Jnr (a burger store) in a Mexican cab. Nice. We got these gigantic delicious burgers with sliced and fried potatoes. Complementary jalapeno peppers included – as a challenge Ela ate one of the small tubs. Hello toilet – sucks to be you!
Totti and I then decided to showcase our amazing futbol talents – we went and joined in with some small Mexican kids in the street, who were very happy to have us. Again the sign language was used to indicate our desire to play. Lucky it was pretty basic – one point to ourselves, then another at the ball. Enough said. Game on it was a highlight for both of us – a great afternoon. Needless to say we dominated the little amigos!
We went down to St Lucia for dinner by the river. It was about 11:30pm by the time we got down there. So....Ela and I got the English menus – ah HOORAY! However, we still managed to fail at our order. You see, although the menu was in English, the ingredients were not so easy to understand. We decided we wanted an entree, so we pointed to the one that said “Cheese” – a word we know. The waiter bought out our entree – it looked like giant crackers with a little bit of cheese and a thick blot of vegemite....that, plus crap! We asked Paulina to ask the waiter “What the heck did we order”. After conversing with the waiter, Paulina turns to us and cracks up laughing and says “eewwwwwwww”. She proceeds to inform us that the black stuff is the root of corn mushed up with corn and fungi....that, plus crap! So we both agreed that since we ordered it, we must try it. Vom. It tasted like gooey, chunky mud...that, plus crap. It was awful. Totti’s teeth were pitch black – see photos. We scraped off the rest of the gunk and just at the crackers and cheese. Entree fail.
We got home at about 1am – after a quick skype with Ma and Papa Walker, we said our final goodbye to Paulina and went to bed.
Day 16:
We got up reasonably early and packed our bags. Michael had a class (he teaches English to the Mexicans) in the morning so we just waited until he returned. This afternoon we head off to the airport to catch our flight to Cancun via Mexico City.
Sooooo. When checking in baggage, we were shocked to find that their definition of scanning bags was erm....manual. Totti got her undies searched, much to her embarrassment – perhaps they were looking for something suspicious in her undies.....THAT, plus crap. Awkward. So we made it through check in and are now waiting to board our flight to Mexico City, then to Cancun. So in the hope that we don’t get a cavity search thrown into the mix, our next update will come to you via Cancun, complete with fluffy robes and infinity pools.
A day of laze and travel.
Adios for now,
Say hi to your Papi for us,
Kate& Ela xoxoxo
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