Los Angeles, California
Day 6:
We left our hotel on Geary Street for San Francisco airport at the crack of dawn. To the shock of us both, turns out you have to pay for baggage on domestic flights in the US. Lame! Also be prepared to take your shoes off when you go to board your flight. WTF. Headache.
Once on the plane everything was ok – the flight was a lot nicer than our initial one. Hardly any turbulence. There was a little turd of a child who took a liking to Ela’s leg, and proceeded to scratch the crap out of it the entire flight. He thought he was funny. Ela had developed a twitch by the end of the flight, and had assumed the foetal position in a feeble attempt to get away from him.
And so we landed in L.A and had to wait about an hour on the run way – we were stuck in a traffic jam of planes. Fail. The bus ride to Hermosa beach was long – but worth it. Our hostel is right on the Pier – pretty much the hub of the city; bars, restaurants, shops – everything. Beach volleyball courts, surfboard hire – good fun. So on our first day here we just walked around and familiarised ourselves with the local area. A far cry from period stained sheets and receptionists with angry haircuts. The people here were so friendly and welcoming – the facilities and accommodation was really great, we’d recommend this hostel if you wanted to stay in L.A, somewhere a little quieter than the central city area. Local transport was really easy to use, and inexpensive ($1.25 bus ride – Bus 232).
Day 7:
DISNEYLAND!!!!! Definitely worth the 6am wakeup – it fulfilled all expectations and did not disappoint. The Indiana Jones ride was amazing, followed by the pirates of the Caribbean ride – spectacular. Totti got her thrills and some whip lash on the turbo charged train. The haunted house, sleeping beauty’s castle, peter pan’s flight, finding nemo (yes, we went in a submarine)- while waiting in line for that ride, a 30 minute line we might add, the wait was made worth it when out of the corner of Ela’s eye, she caught an 80 year old granny stealing a swift scratch of her vag. Needless to say we were in stitches. She was a sly dog. A highlight for us was the Buzz Lightyear ride and the captain E.O short film featuring Michael Jackson.
Day 8:
Hollywood tour – led by our hilarious bus driver Eddy, a 65 year old African American man who had us in stitches the entire time. We saw the set of Baywatch (Marina Del Rey), Venice Beach, Santa Monica, Rodeo Drive, Hollywood Blvd, Downtown L.A (Churros are A-Mazing), China Town and Little Mexico, and the Walt Disney Concert Hall. It was an absolutely massive day but for anyone looking to experience these places properly, you really would need 3 days in each place – there is so much to see and do. When we got back we met our Dutch roomie – who taught us how to say “you have a nuce bum” “f**k” and many other delightful, important and necessary terminologies :p
Las Vegas
Day 9:
FML. Another early start . Our backs were pretty much broken – the hike to the bus stop with our packs and bags was intense. We literally felt the burn, had to take strategic rest stops along the way. Fail. Caught our flight to Vegas – we met two delightful characters, sisters in fact, were like chalk and cheese. One decked out in pyjama pants with a floral design (vomit), a bum bag, old retro sneakers and those big old square sunnies. So she was like a bumble bee on crack. The funniest thing about them was that they were drunk as skunks bickering like no one else was on the plane. Totti and I were in hysterics the entire time. Highlight of the flight, Ethel “I’m uncomfortable” her sister turns around “well sit the f**k down then” You had to be there, but we lost it and in the end made friends with these two ladies.
We caught the shuttle to Caesars palace – for anyone wondering, no, the real Caesar does not work or live here. It was so overwhelming – speechless! When we got to our rooms – what a room!! Tv in you bathroom mirror anyone? The beds are HUGE – most comfortable beds in history. We also have robes. That is all. Money very well spent.
Day 10:
Finally a sleep in!!! The Price is Right, live stage show – complete with the token afro American woman sitting next to Ela who yelled out comments such as “HE ON CRACK!!” or “ HE GOTTA PUT DOWN THE PIPE” when contestants made apparently bad choices :p Went to the pool, wondered up and down the strip, found $1 cocktails, went on the rollercoaster in the New York New York hotel, went to M&M world, got lost in the Mirage Mile mall, got ripped off by a promo guy – guest list my ass. Ate dinner, got drunk, rocked Cleopatra’s barge, got hammered, danced some more, $2 Tequila shots, $1 margaritas, vomit. That is all.
Day 11:
We slept in till 10:30 – a rest well earned. Totti “ela, you dead man?” Ela “yam un”. Totti informed me that she caught her reflection in the mirror above her bed and crapped herself because she thought there was someone else in the room. Fail. And so we finally made it to these premium shopping outlets. There were over 150 stores to look through, with a huge variety of stores, anything from Jay Jays type places to Armani and D&G. We really wanted to buy new sneakers but failed, and so now we are being sloths on our amazingly comfortable beds, going to head to the Cheesecake factory for dinner and then to Cirque de Soleil. The circus was amazing – there was a giant pool for a stage, which turned into a floor, which turned into a pool, which turned into a floor....you get it. But the acrobatics were spectacular – the cast was made up of former Olympian synchronised swimmers and divers and gymnasts – definitely worth the money.
Day 12:
A pretty lazy day – got our stuff packed and checked out of Caesars, ready to make our way to Monterrey, Mexico to meet Kate’s brother Michael and his finance Paulina. Ole.
So until next time, hombres and senoritas,
Say hi to your dad for us,
Love Kate & Ela
xx
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Segway, Sausalito - San Francisco.
San Francisco
We arrived at Canberra airport at 8am, parents intact....but not for long. Needless to say there were tears, hugs and smiles coupled with nervous wees and poos and barfs.
Flight to Sydney was swell – a quick bus transfer to Sydney international. We sat there wtih broken backs – apparently 20kg backpacks aren’t that easy to get on, and seriously alter your centre of gravity. Fail. That is all. And so we sampled some of Australia’s finest Italian cuisine “mustard chicken pasta” to ease the pain. Who said carbs were the enemy?
We got through customs, as we were browsing through duty free, a kinda asian lady approached us and asked us if we’d like to play Wii. Because Ela is partially deaf (and perhaps RETARDED) – she responded gracefully “I don’t want no fucken Tandoori!!!” When the lady proceeded to look increasingly affronted, it finally clicked. By that time however, the damage was done. By this time Totti was in hysterics because she actually heard what the lady had said. Ela, fail.
After a long and painful 13 hour flight which consisted of crying babies, a turbine, a bum crack in Ela’s face, a broken entertainment system and turbulence which was enough to give Totti vertigo, So we just sat there making tampon jokes and dry retching cat noises to entertain ourselves. We finally touched down in San Francisco – yes, the home to Boudin and Clam Chowder.
Day 1
We successfully managed to get ourselves a shuttle direct to our hostel – thanks to Laurie’s. We arrived optimistic despite the rainy weather, only to have our spirits dampened by the pungent smell of stale pee and a complete effen mole at the front desk of the hostel. Maybe if she had a better haircut she wouldn’t have been so sad. We proceeded to try and check in – current time was 12:40, check in not permitted till 2. So the unhelpful bad haired staff agreed to let us store our baggage in a dingy lock and key cupboard. So with the slim ray of hope that the day would get better, we ventured forth into the San Francisco hills.
Following the recommendation of our customs officer at the San Fran airport, we located a Boudin’s bakery – the home of sourdough bread made from live yeast culture. Apparently there is some big clump of yeast (ha, yeast) that all the bread is made from – it’s meant to be over a hundred years old. Tasty. The most fascinating thing about the whole place was that the bread was carried from the bakery into the store in baskets hanging on an electric pulley system attached to the roof.
Despite being complete zombies after 2 days of no sleep, before calling it a day at around 5 pm. We got back to the hostel and finally checked in. Sigh. Our first shower out of home it was friggan insane, the water pressure was so hard that totti was like "dude! it's ripping my nipples off!" and then there was this mutant steroid munching mozzie in the bathroom. But no, it didn’t stop there – after a signle baked potato each for dinner, Totti found period stains on my sheets, when they were supposedly meant to be laundered, fail!! so we slept in the same bed hahahha we did find that particularly hilarious. We thought she may have contracted Chlamydia from the unsanitary conditions hahaha.
Sooo that pretty much sealed the deal – we were stepping up market and moving into a motel. Which turned out to be cheaper anyway. Take that, pee smelling hostel.
Day 2:
Perhaps the thing we’ve been looking forward to for about three months. SEGWAY! Yes, that’s right, we did. We caught the ferry to Sausalito (across the harbor from San Fran). We were greeted by “Segway Jeff” in the carpark behind the little Italian bar “A Taste Of Rome”.
After our Segway tour we caught the ferry back to San Fran, and geared up for our much anticipated Alcatraz Tour. We took the guided audio tour through the prison, a surreal experience to have walked through a place once home to the most notorious criminals in history.
Was a fun filled day – super tired by the end. So for dinner we ordered some Chinese takeaway, had a sanitary, mozzie free shower and passed out in a bed, period stain free sheets.
Day 3:
Soooooooooooooo... failed at being tourists today. While Ela was passed out, Totti decided to ignore the alarm and we slept till 11. Muahahaha. So we got up, dressed and went to eat brekky at Noahs Bakery, Pantene hair and all.
We decided to spend the day shopping, and did so on Market Street and on Union Square. It was so overwhelming we didn’t know where to begin – Macy’s, Abercrombie and Fitch, Westfield (craps all over ours) Nike Town – where we met “Rrrrolando” a kind young chap who offered to give us his number and show us around.
We then went for a dance right in the centre of union square where there was a latino band playing – good fun. And then possibly the highlight of the day – dinner at the cheesecake factory! Strawberry Creamsicle – vodka, crushed strawberries, ice cream and Disaronno. Yumo! With fried zucchini strips with ranch dressing to dip them into, and a MASSIVE Luau Salad. So – completely stuffed, we made our way back home with our take away apple and walnut cheese cake and some bubble bath to soak our calves in.
Day 4:
We did a hop on/hop off bus tour that took us around the main san fran attractions and most probably the highlight of the trip – across the golden gate bridge. Who would of thought we could get a kick out of going over a bridge? It was truly spectacular. Abit breezy, but spectacular.
We spent the rest of the afternoon in Sausalito – hiking around the upper suburbs. Starting price on a home is 2.5 million and rent is $2000 a week. Nice. After eating a hamburger in the park we decided to call it a day and get the bus back to San Fran – to see the “crooked” street. It literally is a street in San Francisco that zig zags from the top of a hill all the way to the bottom. That was pretty cool – aside from the calve burn and jelly legs we got from climbing Hyde street. But it was well worth it.
The evening led us to “Max’s” for dinner – where we met “Jorge”, pronounced hor-he, but to which totti liked to call him “hot hair”. Fail. We are working on he Spanish in time for our Mexican adventure. And so after a couple of nice drinks and a meal big enough to feed 4 people, we decided to take ourselves to the union sports bar where we met Aaron and Edwin – two drug dealers who looked like puff daddy – no really, totti actually asked “are you actually puff daddy” and “so are you going to call your peeps?” wtf. Much to ela’s pleasure, they did in fact reply “yeah, that’s exactly what we are doing”. But despite the good times, they were a tad to bleck for us, so we decided to phantom and head home. We were expecting a quiet walk back to the Monarch – only to be serenaded by an absolutely lovely homeless hobo Tanya – a middle aged black woman who could sing “and I am telling you i’m not going”. She kept trying to keep up with us, running ahead up the hill and pausing, busting out the spirit fingers and stating “this is where i’m at – and i am telling you” LOL. That really did top off a great night.
So now we move on to Hermosa beach, L.A. Sunshine, beach volleyball and ridiculously hot people everywhere.
P.S we did try Clam Chower – it tastes like powdery ass. That is all.
Check out some pics here: http://s179.photobucket.com/albums/w313/ElaC10/San%20Francisco/
Say hi to your dad for us,
Kate & Ela xx
We arrived at Canberra airport at 8am, parents intact....but not for long. Needless to say there were tears, hugs and smiles coupled with nervous wees and poos and barfs.
Flight to Sydney was swell – a quick bus transfer to Sydney international. We sat there wtih broken backs – apparently 20kg backpacks aren’t that easy to get on, and seriously alter your centre of gravity. Fail. That is all. And so we sampled some of Australia’s finest Italian cuisine “mustard chicken pasta” to ease the pain. Who said carbs were the enemy?
We got through customs, as we were browsing through duty free, a kinda asian lady approached us and asked us if we’d like to play Wii. Because Ela is partially deaf (and perhaps RETARDED) – she responded gracefully “I don’t want no fucken Tandoori!!!” When the lady proceeded to look increasingly affronted, it finally clicked. By that time however, the damage was done. By this time Totti was in hysterics because she actually heard what the lady had said. Ela, fail.
After a long and painful 13 hour flight which consisted of crying babies, a turbine, a bum crack in Ela’s face, a broken entertainment system and turbulence which was enough to give Totti vertigo, So we just sat there making tampon jokes and dry retching cat noises to entertain ourselves. We finally touched down in San Francisco – yes, the home to Boudin and Clam Chowder.
Day 1
We successfully managed to get ourselves a shuttle direct to our hostel – thanks to Laurie’s. We arrived optimistic despite the rainy weather, only to have our spirits dampened by the pungent smell of stale pee and a complete effen mole at the front desk of the hostel. Maybe if she had a better haircut she wouldn’t have been so sad. We proceeded to try and check in – current time was 12:40, check in not permitted till 2. So the unhelpful bad haired staff agreed to let us store our baggage in a dingy lock and key cupboard. So with the slim ray of hope that the day would get better, we ventured forth into the San Francisco hills.
Following the recommendation of our customs officer at the San Fran airport, we located a Boudin’s bakery – the home of sourdough bread made from live yeast culture. Apparently there is some big clump of yeast (ha, yeast) that all the bread is made from – it’s meant to be over a hundred years old. Tasty. The most fascinating thing about the whole place was that the bread was carried from the bakery into the store in baskets hanging on an electric pulley system attached to the roof.
Despite being complete zombies after 2 days of no sleep, before calling it a day at around 5 pm. We got back to the hostel and finally checked in. Sigh. Our first shower out of home it was friggan insane, the water pressure was so hard that totti was like "dude! it's ripping my nipples off!" and then there was this mutant steroid munching mozzie in the bathroom. But no, it didn’t stop there – after a signle baked potato each for dinner, Totti found period stains on my sheets, when they were supposedly meant to be laundered, fail!! so we slept in the same bed hahahha we did find that particularly hilarious. We thought she may have contracted Chlamydia from the unsanitary conditions hahaha.
Sooo that pretty much sealed the deal – we were stepping up market and moving into a motel. Which turned out to be cheaper anyway. Take that, pee smelling hostel.
Day 2:
Perhaps the thing we’ve been looking forward to for about three months. SEGWAY! Yes, that’s right, we did. We caught the ferry to Sausalito (across the harbor from San Fran). We were greeted by “Segway Jeff” in the carpark behind the little Italian bar “A Taste Of Rome”.
After our Segway tour we caught the ferry back to San Fran, and geared up for our much anticipated Alcatraz Tour. We took the guided audio tour through the prison, a surreal experience to have walked through a place once home to the most notorious criminals in history.
Was a fun filled day – super tired by the end. So for dinner we ordered some Chinese takeaway, had a sanitary, mozzie free shower and passed out in a bed, period stain free sheets.
Day 3:
Soooooooooooooo... failed at being tourists today. While Ela was passed out, Totti decided to ignore the alarm and we slept till 11. Muahahaha. So we got up, dressed and went to eat brekky at Noahs Bakery, Pantene hair and all.
We decided to spend the day shopping, and did so on Market Street and on Union Square. It was so overwhelming we didn’t know where to begin – Macy’s, Abercrombie and Fitch, Westfield (craps all over ours) Nike Town – where we met “Rrrrolando” a kind young chap who offered to give us his number and show us around.
We then went for a dance right in the centre of union square where there was a latino band playing – good fun. And then possibly the highlight of the day – dinner at the cheesecake factory! Strawberry Creamsicle – vodka, crushed strawberries, ice cream and Disaronno. Yumo! With fried zucchini strips with ranch dressing to dip them into, and a MASSIVE Luau Salad. So – completely stuffed, we made our way back home with our take away apple and walnut cheese cake and some bubble bath to soak our calves in.
Day 4:
We did a hop on/hop off bus tour that took us around the main san fran attractions and most probably the highlight of the trip – across the golden gate bridge. Who would of thought we could get a kick out of going over a bridge? It was truly spectacular. Abit breezy, but spectacular.
We spent the rest of the afternoon in Sausalito – hiking around the upper suburbs. Starting price on a home is 2.5 million and rent is $2000 a week. Nice. After eating a hamburger in the park we decided to call it a day and get the bus back to San Fran – to see the “crooked” street. It literally is a street in San Francisco that zig zags from the top of a hill all the way to the bottom. That was pretty cool – aside from the calve burn and jelly legs we got from climbing Hyde street. But it was well worth it.
The evening led us to “Max’s” for dinner – where we met “Jorge”, pronounced hor-he, but to which totti liked to call him “hot hair”. Fail. We are working on he Spanish in time for our Mexican adventure. And so after a couple of nice drinks and a meal big enough to feed 4 people, we decided to take ourselves to the union sports bar where we met Aaron and Edwin – two drug dealers who looked like puff daddy – no really, totti actually asked “are you actually puff daddy” and “so are you going to call your peeps?” wtf. Much to ela’s pleasure, they did in fact reply “yeah, that’s exactly what we are doing”. But despite the good times, they were a tad to bleck for us, so we decided to phantom and head home. We were expecting a quiet walk back to the Monarch – only to be serenaded by an absolutely lovely homeless hobo Tanya – a middle aged black woman who could sing “and I am telling you i’m not going”. She kept trying to keep up with us, running ahead up the hill and pausing, busting out the spirit fingers and stating “this is where i’m at – and i am telling you” LOL. That really did top off a great night.
So now we move on to Hermosa beach, L.A. Sunshine, beach volleyball and ridiculously hot people everywhere.
P.S we did try Clam Chower – it tastes like powdery ass. That is all.
Check out some pics here: http://s179.photobucket.com/albums/w313/ElaC10/San%20Francisco/
Say hi to your dad for us,
Kate & Ela xx
Thursday, May 6, 2010
P.M.S #1: Tale of the Travelling Turds.
Boggers and Floggers alike,
Perhaps for the final time, before we depart, we would like to impart on you, the art of the fart, as we hold it close, and dear to our heart. So without further ado, we bring you our first P.M.S (a Pretty Meaningful Session) and introduce you to a brand stinking new section of our blog; in this edition, a place to discuss all things to do with the bog.
We all, yes, that includes you - hold a certain soft spot for the toilet. It bears witness to, and marks many of life’s 1st’s –these moments are equally memorable achievements, as they are memories we’d rather forget :p It validates you as a competent and civilised human being from our first successful use of the toilet while toilet training, and compromises our dignity with our first morning after a big night – over the years, the toilet has been there for us in more ways than we care to acknowledge. From drunken conversations with randoms, to personal moments with a friend, a refuge for the Meangirls who eat their lunches in the cubicle, the toilet really is an integral part of our lives. We visit it every day without fail, it never complains, it’s always happy to accept our deposits – so really, if people dropped their kids off in your pool every day, and you got sat on by several different backsides, great and small, in our opinion, you’re worth a mention.
Our bowel movements are very important to us, and after close observation, we have noted that they are rather attached to our emotions. We are very open about body function, in fact poos, flatulence and toilet talk are a frequent and amusing topics we often discuss in depth. It then occurred to us that toilet use while travelling could be an adventure in itself, and therefore we couldn’t help but dedicate an entire entry to the subject – hence “Tale of the Travelling Turds”. So watch this space, as it will gradually get filled with random, hilarious encounters in overseas lavatory facilities.
We have a few concerns, and we’d like to share them with you. Everyone likes their own toilet, it’s no secret. What if overseas toilet paper is too scratchy? Frankly we proffer Kleenex. If we have to start wiping with leaves, we will be sure to select the softest option available to us, and make recommendations to you all, should you ever be in a paperless situation.
Stay tuned for the trials and tribulations of the Travelling Turds. Rice bubbles snap crackle and pop, but we splish, splash, plop.
So until next time, Ploppers,
Say hi to your dad for us,
Love Ela & Kate xx
Perhaps for the final time, before we depart, we would like to impart on you, the art of the fart, as we hold it close, and dear to our heart. So without further ado, we bring you our first P.M.S (a Pretty Meaningful Session) and introduce you to a brand stinking new section of our blog; in this edition, a place to discuss all things to do with the bog.
We all, yes, that includes you - hold a certain soft spot for the toilet. It bears witness to, and marks many of life’s 1st’s –these moments are equally memorable achievements, as they are memories we’d rather forget :p It validates you as a competent and civilised human being from our first successful use of the toilet while toilet training, and compromises our dignity with our first morning after a big night – over the years, the toilet has been there for us in more ways than we care to acknowledge. From drunken conversations with randoms, to personal moments with a friend, a refuge for the Meangirls who eat their lunches in the cubicle, the toilet really is an integral part of our lives. We visit it every day without fail, it never complains, it’s always happy to accept our deposits – so really, if people dropped their kids off in your pool every day, and you got sat on by several different backsides, great and small, in our opinion, you’re worth a mention.
Our bowel movements are very important to us, and after close observation, we have noted that they are rather attached to our emotions. We are very open about body function, in fact poos, flatulence and toilet talk are a frequent and amusing topics we often discuss in depth. It then occurred to us that toilet use while travelling could be an adventure in itself, and therefore we couldn’t help but dedicate an entire entry to the subject – hence “Tale of the Travelling Turds”. So watch this space, as it will gradually get filled with random, hilarious encounters in overseas lavatory facilities.
We have a few concerns, and we’d like to share them with you. Everyone likes their own toilet, it’s no secret. What if overseas toilet paper is too scratchy? Frankly we proffer Kleenex. If we have to start wiping with leaves, we will be sure to select the softest option available to us, and make recommendations to you all, should you ever be in a paperless situation.
Stay tuned for the trials and tribulations of the Travelling Turds. Rice bubbles snap crackle and pop, but we splish, splash, plop.
So until next time, Ploppers,
Say hi to your dad for us,
Love Ela & Kate xx
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Dancing with Degeneres
Floggers and Boggers,
By now you have realised that Totti and I are just the right ammount of crazy to come up with something like this:
We want Ellen Degeneres to support us in our mission to help her acheive world domination in 2010.
To help Ellen’s 2010 resolution of World Domination - we want to combine it with our own amazing adventure. Watch as we are about to embark on our own quest of World Domination, beginning May 17, 2010 and we thought we'd take Ellen with us.
From the U.S, Jamaica, ooooooh we wanna take ya; everywhere!
America: Segway tours in L.A, Disneyland, Cancun, Vegas, the big apple, Miami beach.
England: We solemnly sware that we will do everything in our power to make the guards outside Buckingham Palace participate in taking absolutely ridiculous, yet equally hilarious photos with us and our portable Ellen. If we fail, we will get arrested trying, it is a promise :p
Ireland: We have a feeling that if the Irish live up to their drinking reputation, our little Ellen cut out will appear in many drunken adventures ;) *Pouts lips and makes peace sign with fingers, thinking it looks really cool*
Scotland: Everyone likes a healthy breeze around their privates, so, sporting kilts and wearing little hats with pom poms atop reasonable looking ginger haired wigs, we will go Loch Ness hunting to the tune of bag pipes as our marching anthem. And we know it's a long shot, but can Gerard Butler come with us??
Wales: Hey.....WE SPEAK WHALE....Bad joke, we know. Sorry :p
Spain: We will tango past the Toros when we take Ellen running with the bulls and on our Hop on/Hop Off Bus tour.
Paris: The Louvre, the night time bike ride, the Eifel tower…. We probably won’t eat snails or frogs – we hear they taste like chicken, but based on principal, and our healthy respect for the animal kingdom, we have resolved that some things just weren’t meant to be passed through the digestive system!
Italy: Ellen will get to see things such as the Colosseum, the leaning tower of Pisa, take a gondola ride in Venice, explore Pompeii, say hi to our friend George Clooney at Lake Como, catch a soccer game at the Olympic Stadium – PLUS eat all the gelato and pizza a paper cut out can stomach - does a paper cut out have a stomach?
Germany: We’ll find some of those funny shorts that double as overalls and yodel off a mountain top to a song of your choice. Suggestions welcome :p
Tokyo: Mt Fuji and the Bullet train – look out!
The Greek Islands: we will attempt to re-enact a scene from Mamma Mia for your viewing pleasure. We can’t guarantee that we have the singing Prowess of Pierce Brosnan or Meryl Streep, but we can try :p
And finally, perhaps our most favourite of all, we get to be Pirates in the Caribbean (pirate hats included).
We are willing to partake in any adventures or complete any tasks Ellen requests us to do while on our mission.
Our first stop though – America. We know it’s a long shot, but we were hoping to kick off our World Domination of 2010 on the Ellen Degeneres show. As part of our stay in America, we were going to try and get tickets to see Ellen as we are big fans.
So in the hope that we will get to dance in the audience, and maybe have a dance off with Ellen, we maintain that “fish are friends, not food”, and we really hope that you’ll help us get the message out. Check out our fan page on Facebook and *Become a fan* : Ellen Degeneres - the 2010 resolution to achieve world domination
of something that could turn out to be Ellen-iscious..
So we leave you with the hope in mind that we will help Ellen dance her way to world domination in 2010 :)
Say hi to your dad for us,
Love Ela & Kate.
By now you have realised that Totti and I are just the right ammount of crazy to come up with something like this:
We want Ellen Degeneres to support us in our mission to help her acheive world domination in 2010.
To help Ellen’s 2010 resolution of World Domination - we want to combine it with our own amazing adventure. Watch as we are about to embark on our own quest of World Domination, beginning May 17, 2010 and we thought we'd take Ellen with us.
From the U.S, Jamaica, ooooooh we wanna take ya; everywhere!
America: Segway tours in L.A, Disneyland, Cancun, Vegas, the big apple, Miami beach.
England: We solemnly sware that we will do everything in our power to make the guards outside Buckingham Palace participate in taking absolutely ridiculous, yet equally hilarious photos with us and our portable Ellen. If we fail, we will get arrested trying, it is a promise :p
Ireland: We have a feeling that if the Irish live up to their drinking reputation, our little Ellen cut out will appear in many drunken adventures ;) *Pouts lips and makes peace sign with fingers, thinking it looks really cool*
Scotland: Everyone likes a healthy breeze around their privates, so, sporting kilts and wearing little hats with pom poms atop reasonable looking ginger haired wigs, we will go Loch Ness hunting to the tune of bag pipes as our marching anthem. And we know it's a long shot, but can Gerard Butler come with us??
Wales: Hey.....WE SPEAK WHALE....Bad joke, we know. Sorry :p
Spain: We will tango past the Toros when we take Ellen running with the bulls and on our Hop on/Hop Off Bus tour.
Paris: The Louvre, the night time bike ride, the Eifel tower…. We probably won’t eat snails or frogs – we hear they taste like chicken, but based on principal, and our healthy respect for the animal kingdom, we have resolved that some things just weren’t meant to be passed through the digestive system!
Italy: Ellen will get to see things such as the Colosseum, the leaning tower of Pisa, take a gondola ride in Venice, explore Pompeii, say hi to our friend George Clooney at Lake Como, catch a soccer game at the Olympic Stadium – PLUS eat all the gelato and pizza a paper cut out can stomach - does a paper cut out have a stomach?
Germany: We’ll find some of those funny shorts that double as overalls and yodel off a mountain top to a song of your choice. Suggestions welcome :p
Tokyo: Mt Fuji and the Bullet train – look out!
The Greek Islands: we will attempt to re-enact a scene from Mamma Mia for your viewing pleasure. We can’t guarantee that we have the singing Prowess of Pierce Brosnan or Meryl Streep, but we can try :p
And finally, perhaps our most favourite of all, we get to be Pirates in the Caribbean (pirate hats included).
We are willing to partake in any adventures or complete any tasks Ellen requests us to do while on our mission.
Our first stop though – America. We know it’s a long shot, but we were hoping to kick off our World Domination of 2010 on the Ellen Degeneres show. As part of our stay in America, we were going to try and get tickets to see Ellen as we are big fans.
So in the hope that we will get to dance in the audience, and maybe have a dance off with Ellen, we maintain that “fish are friends, not food”, and we really hope that you’ll help us get the message out. Check out our fan page on Facebook and *Become a fan* : Ellen Degeneres - the 2010 resolution to achieve world domination
of something that could turn out to be Ellen-iscious..
So we leave you with the hope in mind that we will help Ellen dance her way to world domination in 2010 :)
Say hi to your dad for us,
Love Ela & Kate.
Monday, March 22, 2010
On the Bog; A tribute to Floggers and Boggers alike.
Hello Boggers (Buddies of our Blog),
First, let us thank you for your loyalty in following our blog. Although we find ourselves rather entertaining and extremely humorous, it's nice to know other people are reading our shit - even if it is only Mum & Dad! We understand that as parents and friends you are obligated to lie in order to prevent our little hearts from breaking; you have to tell us our blog is truly wonderful, even if doesn’t stir the slightest hint of laughter. BUT we accept you whole heartedly as a loyal Floggers and Boggers – as we need our blog to look like it has many avid readers and is wildly popular, and you need to feel like you are fulfilling your roles as parents by filling your children’s heads with false encouragement about their blogging abilities. This way, we all sleep well at night. We LOVE getting comments too so comment-away! We’re watching you ANONYMOUS – reveal your identity!
Whilst the travel preparations continue, we have noticed that we have sort of adopted alter ego’s during the planning process. We feel we have given the term “freedom of expression” an entire new meaning, each of us putting a little bit of ourselves back into this experience, in our own quirky yet entirely productive way - Totti with her nerdy spreadsheet which is now scaling at almost 1KB (you know it!) has become a cooler and way hotter female version of Bill Gates – her spread sheeting skills are pretty impressive, in this case, geeks really will be taking over the world :p As Ela is lacking in spreadsheeting prowess, she has chosen to compensate with her arty farty DaVinci style notebook and MASSIVE two-holed binder (and she wonder’s why she can’t get laid ??), we bring you a sneak peak into.....GOSS - G.oing O.verseas S.even S.ins:
OK that was a poor attempt at making an acronym, we can't be funny ALL the time - don't judge u s :p
Wrath - "inordinate and uncontrolled feelings of hatred and anger"
Anyone heard of the Napoleon complex? To put it simply the term "Napoleon complex" has been used in scientific research on the phenomenon of smaller organisms acting aggressively towards larger organisms.
The short (lol, we are short) of is that we both suffer from this condition. We seek forgiveness for the anger and possible hatred we will show over our travel period...however, our excuse will be the Napoleon Complex; being vertically challenged, we have to make up for our short-comings (ha.pun intended :p) some how!
Greed - "excessive or rapacious desire and pursuit of wealth, status, and power"
Whilst some may say taking a four and a half month holiday is greedy while our family and friends continue to work the 9-5 grind during the cold cold canberra winter, only stopping for coffee breaks and a snack consisting of dried fruit and muesli with the odd pea and ham soup chucked up for lunch.....OK....we are greedy, but we will be thousands of miles away, so even if you wanted to throw an inanimate household object at us in frustration, there’s nothing you can do about it:p Forgiven?
Sloth - "laziness and indifference"
We may be lazy here but we will endeavour not to be lazy whilst overseas. I mean sipping cocktails, staring and stalking Jamaican princes, riding segways, sipping cocktails, sipping cocktails, sipping cocktails. OK....we are guilty of being slothful, however, we will NOT return looking like this. So we're forgiven, right?
*we’re too sexy for our shirt, too sexy for our shirt, so sexy it hurts. We’re too sexy for Milan, to sexy for Milan, New York and Japan*
*hey wifey’s, you’re so fine, you’re blow our mind, hey wifey’s *clap clap* hey wifey’s *clap clap*.
Lust - "excessive thoughts or desires of a sexual nature"
Enough said. Bahahahahahahahaha. *ela’s quest to find her mojo*
Envy - "resent that another person has something they perceive themselves as lacking, and wish the other person to be deprived of it"
Seeing as though we have nothing to envy aside from ourselves, we handball this sin to our floggers.
Gluttony - "over-indulgence and over-consumption of anything to the point of waste"
Our number 1 sin. The pizza, the pasta, the chocolate, the nutella, the smarties and who can forget the alcohol. Although Totti possesses the metabolism of a Ninja, it is a-mazing, and shall therefore elude the consequences of over indulgence. The toilet however, will feel her wrath lol. We will be asking forgiveness for this sin for the rest of our lives.
So as we like to talk about our feelings, ‘cause we’re good like that – we hope this blog gives you an insight into our virtual selves, as the tangible versions will most probably be busy tanning and partaking in other beach related activities, and dominating the overseas competition, we leave you with the sentiment that we’ll say it, when you’re just thinking it. We are sure there will be plenty of awkward, funny and sincerely honest moments to come, so stay stalking, as we are keen to share them all.....or mostly all :p
Watch this space, and most importantly….Say hi to your dad for us,
Kate & Ela.
First, let us thank you for your loyalty in following our blog. Although we find ourselves rather entertaining and extremely humorous, it's nice to know other people are reading our shit - even if it is only Mum & Dad! We understand that as parents and friends you are obligated to lie in order to prevent our little hearts from breaking; you have to tell us our blog is truly wonderful, even if doesn’t stir the slightest hint of laughter. BUT we accept you whole heartedly as a loyal Floggers and Boggers – as we need our blog to look like it has many avid readers and is wildly popular, and you need to feel like you are fulfilling your roles as parents by filling your children’s heads with false encouragement about their blogging abilities. This way, we all sleep well at night. We LOVE getting comments too so comment-away! We’re watching you ANONYMOUS – reveal your identity!
Whilst the travel preparations continue, we have noticed that we have sort of adopted alter ego’s during the planning process. We feel we have given the term “freedom of expression” an entire new meaning, each of us putting a little bit of ourselves back into this experience, in our own quirky yet entirely productive way - Totti with her nerdy spreadsheet which is now scaling at almost 1KB (you know it!) has become a cooler and way hotter female version of Bill Gates – her spread sheeting skills are pretty impressive, in this case, geeks really will be taking over the world :p As Ela is lacking in spreadsheeting prowess, she has chosen to compensate with her arty farty DaVinci style notebook and MASSIVE two-holed binder (and she wonder’s why she can’t get laid ??), we bring you a sneak peak into.....GOSS - G.oing O.verseas S.even S.ins:
OK that was a poor attempt at making an acronym, we can't be funny ALL the time - don't judge u s :p
Wrath - "inordinate and uncontrolled feelings of hatred and anger"
Anyone heard of the Napoleon complex? To put it simply the term "Napoleon complex" has been used in scientific research on the phenomenon of smaller organisms acting aggressively towards larger organisms.
The short (lol, we are short) of is that we both suffer from this condition. We seek forgiveness for the anger and possible hatred we will show over our travel period...however, our excuse will be the Napoleon Complex; being vertically challenged, we have to make up for our short-comings (ha.pun intended :p) some how!
Greed - "excessive or rapacious desire and pursuit of wealth, status, and power"
Whilst some may say taking a four and a half month holiday is greedy while our family and friends continue to work the 9-5 grind during the cold cold canberra winter, only stopping for coffee breaks and a snack consisting of dried fruit and muesli with the odd pea and ham soup chucked up for lunch.....OK....we are greedy, but we will be thousands of miles away, so even if you wanted to throw an inanimate household object at us in frustration, there’s nothing you can do about it:p Forgiven?
Sloth - "laziness and indifference"
We may be lazy here but we will endeavour not to be lazy whilst overseas. I mean sipping cocktails, staring and stalking Jamaican princes, riding segways, sipping cocktails, sipping cocktails, sipping cocktails. OK....we are guilty of being slothful, however, we will NOT return looking like this. So we're forgiven, right?
Pride - "a desire to be more important or attractive than others, failing to acknowledge the good work of others, and excessive love of self" - The most deadly sin of all.
*we’re too sexy for our shirt, too sexy for our shirt, so sexy it hurts. We’re too sexy for Milan, to sexy for Milan, New York and Japan*
*hey wifey’s, you’re so fine, you’re blow our mind, hey wifey’s *clap clap* hey wifey’s *clap clap*.
Lust - "excessive thoughts or desires of a sexual nature"
Enough said. Bahahahahahahahaha. *ela’s quest to find her mojo*
Envy - "resent that another person has something they perceive themselves as lacking, and wish the other person to be deprived of it"
Seeing as though we have nothing to envy aside from ourselves, we handball this sin to our floggers.
Gluttony - "over-indulgence and over-consumption of anything to the point of waste"
Our number 1 sin. The pizza, the pasta, the chocolate, the nutella, the smarties and who can forget the alcohol. Although Totti possesses the metabolism of a Ninja, it is a-mazing, and shall therefore elude the consequences of over indulgence. The toilet however, will feel her wrath lol. We will be asking forgiveness for this sin for the rest of our lives.
So as we like to talk about our feelings, ‘cause we’re good like that – we hope this blog gives you an insight into our virtual selves, as the tangible versions will most probably be busy tanning and partaking in other beach related activities, and dominating the overseas competition, we leave you with the sentiment that we’ll say it, when you’re just thinking it. We are sure there will be plenty of awkward, funny and sincerely honest moments to come, so stay stalking, as we are keen to share them all.....or mostly all :p
Watch this space, and most importantly….Say hi to your dad for us,
Kate & Ela.
Monday, March 15, 2010
The countdown to Fro-ition.
Over The Hair-izon.
Greetings Floggers,
We've been busy of late, making sure that the lead up to D.Day is as smooth and silky as Repunzel's long and luscious hairs.
We are now accomplished and qualified to perform the art of CPR (if any Jamaican Princes are willing to fake their deaths, we will be more than happy to remove their shirts and then provide mouth to mouth), we thought it would be a good idea to get refreshed on all things first aid, incase we get tangled in any hairy situations.
Like many before us, we want to make a good impression on the world stage. In order to get the hair-spect we deserve, we want to represent to our full fro-tential.
Totti is adamant about "getting my hairs done. Just cut and colour! Trying to grow said hairs so they are long and luscious and admired by many boys on my travels!! Lol."
Between now and D.Day I am sure there will be many more visits to the Hair Dresser - all inclusive of massage chair, head massage and complimentary chocolate consumption. A small sacrafice in order to achieve that Pantine hair.
We also need to get our Bleck on: A solid spray tan never hurt anyone. We will ensure to request a nice golden caramel hue, as opposed to the artificial orange option.
So in the hope that all things tweezed, trimmed, waxed, straitened/teasead, coloured and blowdried all happen according to plan, we take on the world with our GHD in one hand and a cocktail in the other.
So if curls get the girls, and Fro's get the ho's, then our Hairs will get the stares.
Say hi to your dad for us,
Kate & Ela xo
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
The Waiting Game
Buon giorno, fellow Floggers (Fans of our Blog) - yes, there are only three of you, and so we write for your enjoyment :) )
The story thus far.
First day: Kate & Ela create 'The Light Bulb Moment' ("Let there be light!")[Gen 1:3]—the first divine command. The light bulb moment divided itself from all the regular moments from the darkness of our brains, and "Departure Day" was named.
Second day: Kate & Ela create a firmament ("Let a firmament be...!")[Gen 1:6–7]—the second command—to divide the waters above from the waters below. The firmament is named "skies" - the skies we will travel, on our quest to conquer the waters that divide Australia and the rest of the world.
Third day: Ela & Kate command the waters below to be gathered together in one place (the infinity pool, Cancun) and dry land to appear (white sandy beaches) (the third command).[Gen 1:9–10] "Earth" and "sea" are named. Kate & Ela command the earth to bring forth grass (to have picnics on, and so we have space to dominate foreigners with our soccer skills) plants (mainly for shade), and fruit-bearing trees (we're always hungry, so having easy access to food is a must) (the fourth command).
Fourth day: Kate & Ela create lights in the firmament (the fifth command)[Gen 1:14–15] to separate light from darkness and to mark days, seasons and years. Two great lights are made, the Sun (we need a tan!) and the Moon (so we have something pretty to look at) and the stars (something to look at while we are lying on our perfectly created grass while having a picnic)
Fifth day: Kate & Ela command the sea to "teem with living creatures", (namely Dolphins and friendly type fishes. Remember, fish are friends, NOT food) and birds (strictly NO SEAGULLS policy - as they like to chase Kate) to fly across the heavens (sixth command).[Gen 1:20–21].
Sixth day: Kate & Ela command the land to bring forth living creatures (seventh command);[Gen 1:24–25] God supposedly made wild beasts, livestock and reptiles. Then created mankind in His "image" and "likeness" (eighth command).[Gen 1:26–28] We created Jamaican Princes - and told them to "be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the earth" - and to be waiting for us in the Carribbean with their six pack abs and fruity drinks in hand.
Seventh day: Kate & Ela, having completed the heavens and the earth, and the creation of Jamaican Princes, rest from Their work, and bless and sanctify the seventh day with a tall glass of Midori & Pineapple.
- a much more plausible version of Genesis than the original :p
So we are all booked and paid for, at this stage we are just fine tuning and booking domestic travel and accomodation for when we are there.
Stay tuned and say hi to your dad for us :)
Kate & Ela x
The story thus far.
Genesis
- The Creation of The Amazing Adventure by Kate & Ela.
The creation week narrative consists of eight divine commands executed over six days, followed by a seventh day of rest.
First day: Kate & Ela create 'The Light Bulb Moment' ("Let there be light!")[Gen 1:3]—the first divine command. The light bulb moment divided itself from all the regular moments from the darkness of our brains, and "Departure Day" was named.
Second day: Kate & Ela create a firmament ("Let a firmament be...!")[Gen 1:6–7]—the second command—to divide the waters above from the waters below. The firmament is named "skies" - the skies we will travel, on our quest to conquer the waters that divide Australia and the rest of the world.
Third day: Ela & Kate command the waters below to be gathered together in one place (the infinity pool, Cancun) and dry land to appear (white sandy beaches) (the third command).[Gen 1:9–10] "Earth" and "sea" are named. Kate & Ela command the earth to bring forth grass (to have picnics on, and so we have space to dominate foreigners with our soccer skills) plants (mainly for shade), and fruit-bearing trees (we're always hungry, so having easy access to food is a must) (the fourth command).
Fourth day: Kate & Ela create lights in the firmament (the fifth command)[Gen 1:14–15] to separate light from darkness and to mark days, seasons and years. Two great lights are made, the Sun (we need a tan!) and the Moon (so we have something pretty to look at) and the stars (something to look at while we are lying on our perfectly created grass while having a picnic)
Fifth day: Kate & Ela command the sea to "teem with living creatures", (namely Dolphins and friendly type fishes. Remember, fish are friends, NOT food) and birds (strictly NO SEAGULLS policy - as they like to chase Kate) to fly across the heavens (sixth command).[Gen 1:20–21].
Sixth day: Kate & Ela command the land to bring forth living creatures (seventh command);[Gen 1:24–25] God supposedly made wild beasts, livestock and reptiles. Then created mankind in His "image" and "likeness" (eighth command).[Gen 1:26–28] We created Jamaican Princes - and told them to "be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the earth" - and to be waiting for us in the Carribbean with their six pack abs and fruity drinks in hand.
Seventh day: Kate & Ela, having completed the heavens and the earth, and the creation of Jamaican Princes, rest from Their work, and bless and sanctify the seventh day with a tall glass of Midori & Pineapple.
- a much more plausible version of Genesis than the original :p
So we are all booked and paid for, at this stage we are just fine tuning and booking domestic travel and accomodation for when we are there.
Stay tuned and say hi to your dad for us :)
Kate & Ela x
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